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Mystery Man

 
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Please save me from self-destruction, I struggle with being open about my feelings and showing affection. I wasn’t raised in a hugging type family and I just don’t know how to do that. I just started dating an amazing guy that I really want to get there with him. How do I get there before I lose him?

Calm down. He's not exactly going to freak out and storm off if you don't give him a cuddle. Well, he might, but if he does he has some pretty serious issues of his own.

There is no "right" amount of affection to show, everyone is different. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a little reserved. Makes a pleasant change from gals who insist on draping themselves all over you at every opportunity and clinging.

Still, you see this as a problem and want to fix it.

It is not hugely difficult to show affection.

Start by holding hands from time to time when you are walking. It is the easiest way to show physical affection, and pretty easy to get into the habit of. A bit annoying, at first, but you'll cope.
Just reach out and touch him once in a while when you are together - shoulder, back of the hand, thigh - it matters not. Smile at him. Hell, wink at him once in a while! It isn't exactly rocket science here.

Being open about your feelings, well, that will take some time and practice, as well as a lot of trust. And actually, you know, talking to him about them. Start with telling him you are uncomfortable with being too touchy-feely, and why. That kills two birds with the first stone.

It is worth it though, in the end.

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5 Comments

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I'm the OP and I wanted to take the time to give you an update since you took the time to answer my question. : ) You gave excellent advice and really talked me down from the emotional ledge. Thank you. I took some baby steps and opened up to him. I talked to the guy I'm seeing and let him know my problem/issue. He was amazingly supportive and it was helpful for him too. He was actually really playful about it and was giving me hugging lessons. lol. Anyway, I'll stop gushing. ; ) Just needed to let you know how much you helped.

Mystery Man

You just made my day - you know that, right?

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Awww mystery man DOES have a heart!

Mystery Man

Shh!

That is a secret.

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Don't be afraid to fail. SAY what you feel. Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter. DRSUESSRULES

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