First things first: this is wrong, this is illegal, and you can make it stop. It's not really clear where this is happening: your college, your workplace, someone's home. Regardless, if it's in an institution, report this to somebody in authority. If they won't do anything, go over their head. Keep doing it until you find someone willing to act.
If a person in authority at an institution won't do anything, or if that's not an option, go to the police: what they're doing fits the legal definition of assault. Part of what's being done to you is bullying, and once you show bullies attacking you is going to cost them, they back off.
Step two is harder: cut these people out of your life. Block their numbers on your phone, remove them from your Facebook, put their emails in the spam filter...in short, cut off all contact and any way for them to contact or find you. Basically, anybody who thinks this is funny is not your friend. For those who actually did this to you, you should be able to get a restraining order.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you are strong enough to ask for help. That means you're strong enough to stop this, because asking for help is all you need to do. You're in our thoughts.
Totally agree with RP. I wrote an answer to you and his first two points are exactly the same as the ones I made.
Except,
Thirdly, learn to defend yourself. Pepper spray or Mace works wonders, but that might be impractical for you, so I am gonna tell you a couple things I teach in class that you may need as a last resort. I want to emphasise - you fight, you run a serious risk of getting hurt. This is last resort stuff, OK?
Never, ever, ever let a guy pin both your hands. They push you against a wall, put one hand behind your back so they can't grab it. As long as you have one hand free, you are golden. You are gonna be tempted to go for the eyes, women always do - don't. Defending eyes is automatic and is going to leave you in worse shape. Instead, jam two fingers of your free hand as far up the guy's nostrils as you can manage, then make a fist and twist. Yeah, it's gross, but you ever seen an agressive ton or so of bull being lead by its nose? It works. Even if you miss, hitting someone on the end of the nose hurts. The pain is immense and he'll be half blinded by tears. He will take a step backward.
Then you give him a good hard kick in the jewels. Note - do not try use your foot, use your knee. You can't miss doing that, their legs put your knee right on target, and it is even more painful than a kick. Get ready to dodge though. as he is gonna lean forward hard, and if he bangs his head on the wall it is his own damned fault. Kicking him in the head on the way down is considered unsporting, and can land you with a murder charge. So don't even think about it.
Then leave. I'd suggest you don't run straight away.
If you do have to fight, don't half ass it. The fight isn't over until your opponent is on the ground and in too much pain to bother you.
Wow!! I could have used you two 30 years ago! You guys keep getting better and better and when I think you can't possibly get any smarter or wiser, you tag team and surprise me exponentially!
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
"If you do have to fight, don't half ass it. The fight isn't over until your opponent is on the ground and in too much pain to bother you." Best advice in your whole reply, it'll save someone's life.
I think your advice is better, MM, because, I am not so sure if she is in the USA. The way she wrote gives me the impression she is not living in the USA or even an English speaking country. In many countries, unfortunately, nothing these assholes did would even be considered illegal, and in many of the countries where it would be, the police would not take accusations seriously. Some countries, it would be inviting more of this reprehensible behavior.
If she is outside the US, or even Western countries, she will need to rely on self defense, because the law cannot be counted on for protection of women. And MM, you gave spot on advice how she can physically fend off these douches.
I would add, if she is in the US, I haven't seen that many woman who used lethal force, intentional or accidental, in defense of a rape attempt, even get charged, and those who have, I've only seen a handful of convictions. I'm not encouraging lethal force, but for god's sake, the OP has a well-founded concerned of being raped!
I tell my stepdaughter, use lethal force if necessary, hell, if it ever did come to criminal charges, I'll do everything I can to take the fall for her. I'd rather be in prison, than see anything ever happen to her.
Nope. Sounds to me she's here in the US. Very young and confused.
Hi Faye. I hope she does. Then there's a good chance the police will do something about her situation.
Scream "Fire!" and run like hell. Even if these guys are your so called "friends". Make a big scene and haul ass. Then call the cops from a public location in view of people.
If the OP is not in the US or a Western Country, the police may not be an option for her. In many countries, at best the police will simply do nothing, in some countries, trying to file charges of rape or assault has led the the woman being harrassed, raped, or even counter-accusations of adultery.
If this is the case, and the police cannot be relied on, I would take MM's advice. Also, I have to believe you have some good men in your life; brothers, male cousins. Even in countries with poor record on women's rights, individual men will be protective of the females in their lives. If there are any, turn to them too.
"Also, I have to believe you have some good men in your life; brothers, male cousins. Even in countries with poor record on women's rights, individual men will be protective of the females in their lives. If there are any, turn to them too."
In poorer countries, men actually tend to be MORE protective of their female relatives than in Westernized ones so this is very good advice, but this is a place you must tread carefully. Social customs still vary greatly. If your family is VERY conservative and antifeminist, they may blame you. Or, on the other extreme, they may go as far as to kill the guys. But it does often work. I know of different women from Pakistan who were stalked and assaulted. They told their family and their brothers, cousins, and uncles got together and beat the crap out of them. The guys never touched them again.
Nobody has a right to violate you, no matter where you live. Tell a parent, I don’t care how old you are. They can help. I would help my daughter & she is 28.
If you have to fight to flee, take Myst’s advice. Also know there are other vulnerable places on a person. The shin is the most exposed bone in the human body. Rake your foot hard down it or a swift kick will do the trick. You can also stomp hard on someone's foot. The throat is also a good spot to hit. If someone grabs your wrist, you can twist your hand in the opposite directing to free yourself.
Good luck & let us know how you are. We care.
Seriously kick them in the crouch that will teach them not to do it again.I think you need to take a stand and report it because next time it wont be grinding they are doing.How sad that people are finding this funny theres nothing funny about being violated in any way so get away from them.