Hmm…too pushy? I’m not sure that’s the right term. You were definitely telling him to make a choice, either you all come clean or break up. At least that’s what it sounds like. Sounds a bit ultimatumish as well.
My guess is that while you are concerned about your job, you also want him to either acknowledge you or let you go. That’s really what I take from it, which I suppose there’s nothing wrong with but it does drive us men crazy when you all force our hands like that. Because it doesn’t seem rooted in what’s best for him, it seems rooted in your ego.
While the company policy exists and you all should abide by it, or at the very least he should cover his a$$, it almost seems like a way for you to determine where you all stand. If he’s willing to go to the bosses to disclose the relationship, then you know it’s real. If he doesn’t, then you question it. And maybe that’s exactly what you should do or feel, but it doesn’t seem like you’re genuinely concerned about him. It sounds like you are just using it for personal issues you’re trying to work out.
Now, at the end of the day that might not matter because you are right, if you all are dating – seriously – then he’ll have to disclose this anyway. But if you just started seeing him then is it really necessary already? Not sure how deep you all are but maybe you all aren’t at a point where it needs to be disclosed.
But no, I wouldn’t call you pushy. I would call you slightly manipulative though in the least judgemental way possible.