No this is a complicated question!! I had an ex who always told me, your welcome to stay but im going to bed soon. Turned out he wasn't that into me. So now I feel like saying that means, "im not a dick so yeah you can stay, but since I don't really wanna hangout with you im going to go to bed soon so I don't have to". Because when a guy wants you to stay wouldn't he simply ask you to stay? I mean if I wanted a guy to sleep over id just say, hey wanna sleep over? And leave it at that. But this question really is one of the most strange parts of dating/sleeping with someone. As the female its a very bad idea to over stay your welcome, so how do you know when to leave or stay? Even the next day after a sleep over is hard. Like if you don't have plans the next day and want to hangout what do you say? Can't tell you how many times I woke up, he got dressed and sat infront of the tv or his laptop without saying anything. Do I stay or go?

What if this is not a hook-up or perhaps they haven't defined their relationship yet?

I say he is making it known that he feels it is a hook-up and wants her to leave, but is trying to not act like a total jerk about it. And it is an act because he is being a jerk.

I agree with Jennifer & Jan. Had this happen to me not too long ago. Casual hook up with a guy I've known for years. Hadn't decided yet whether to leave the next evening or stay another night, he mentioned something along the lines of 'well.. you can stay, but I have this to do.. and afterwards that.. so I probably won't be home before then.. and yeah I'll want to sleep by this time because I have to get up early tomorrow'.

Translation: the stuff that I'm going to do this evening on a weekly basis is more important to me than spending some more time with you (someone I don't get to see/ spend time with often) and skipping those things ONCE.

Honestly, it's not worth staying around someone who makes it clear that his priorities are not with you. You are worth more than that. Even if it is a casual hook up.

(FYI, I chose to leave & haven't bothered to contact him since.)

It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and Elaine argue about whether or not sleeping over after sex is optional...

"What happened to the rules? Remember? Sleeping over was optional!"
"Yeah, it's my house, it's my option!"
"It has nothing to do with whose house it is!"
"Of course it does!"

You should respond with " We can have sex again if you're still horney, but we probably won't. I have a busy day ahead of me."

You should respond with " We can have sex again if you're still horney, but we probably won't. We could have sex next week, but I'm no longer attracted to jerks so that prob won't be happening either. And since you act like a douchebag, look like a douchebag and smell like a douchebag....I'll just get myself out of your way. Seeee ya!"

After a casual hookup....

I always leave and I always leave before this type of discussion even comes up.

Can't tell you how many times I woke up, he got dressed and sat infront of the tv or his laptop without saying anything. Do I stay or go?

That's really the key thing here. You're not really under any obligation here if you're just hooking up. So stay if you want to, leave if you want to. Don't overcomplicate it, and you'll be OK.

That's really the key thing here. You're not really under any obligation here if you're just hooking up. So stay if you want to, leave if you want to. Don't overcomplicate it, and you'll be OK