While the answer to this question seems like common sense to me, I know plenty of women who seem to ask similar questions. Just yesterday, a friend of mine asked me if she should wait around for a guy who was flirting with the idea of them being together but wasn't sure if had the time in his schedule.
To me it was like, "hell no, you have no idea what you're even waiting on." But for her, that just didn't suffice.
Anyway, from a practical standpoint, yes you should move on. You could be waiting on him for one day or ten years, and neither you nor he knows how long that will be. Probably never, actually.
You see, that's a line you throw at somebody that you're trying to let down easy. If I hate you and I'm trying to break up with you, I tell you to drop dead or move to Siberia so I never have to see you again. If I like you as a person, I might try to lighten the load by adding some sort of optimistic possibility for the future even if I know in my heart that I don't really mean it.
From another angle, it's kind of messed up to tell a woman who's in love with you (if I may assume that love is present) that perhaps you can be together later. That's stringing somebody along if I've ever seen it. I know you have to let people be responsible for their own actions, and possibly that's what dude was doing, but the fact is, when emotions are present, logic, common sense, and reality tend to go straight out the window. So your dude is kind of unintentionally a jerk for saying that to you.
So yes, bottom line, you should move on. Hope springs eternal, and chances are, you really don't have that long.
It was written.
And this is why people should always have a fuck buddy on the side. No waiting around and no drama.
Until you have to deal with the drama of your fuck buddy wanting more than sex or explaining to a potential partner that you have a fuck buddy :/
You can never really escape the drama. It will find you.
Then you tell said fuck buddy, you are only my buddy. As for a potential partner, don't tell the potential partner that you are getting some on the side! Or stop slapping funnies with the buddy.
The key is to find a non drama inducing buddy.
Ew.
Yeah..kinda raunchy Meg
Dont accept anything less than what you want. If you want to be some douchebag's backup plan, go for it. Hang around for as long as it takes for him to realise he loves you. Or, more likely, finds another girl.
If you want a guy who puts you first, thinks you're the bees knees, and has no hesitation about being with you.. well, don't settle for being second best.
And there in lies the perdiciment. Sometimes being someones bees knees is scary. Damn I have some issues!
I know how you feel; you're not the only one with that issue...
I like you Mannon. You've got gumption.
Thanks, meiggs. I love old timey words.
"bees knees": I've never heard that expression (to each new day a new word!).
It's kind of sweet, actually.
what if he says its because of the distance and will be completely willing to be a couple again when the distance is removed (which is in about 5 months) because being in a ten month long distance relationship has been really hard on the people involved?
I can sooooo relate to you!!
From my understanding of how guys generally work, they're more physical and much more logical about relationships than women are. Guys need the physical stuff more than girls do, and they tend to struggle with the idea of dating someone who isn't there.
In my situation, I chose to walk away from it, because not being in a committed relationship means they can do whatever they want with whoever they want, and I got tired of finding other girls' jewelry and clothes all over his bedroom and not having the right to freak out on him.
Of course, my situation was a 2 year ordeal, five months is very different. If you're okay with the possibility of there being other girls, and if he's worth waiting for, then I don't see the harm in holding on a little longer.
thank you so much, i needed that. im just afraid im getting false hopes. we live half a world away. im trying to be okay with him seeing other girls. but it kinda gives me hope that he ended it with another girl because she said he had to stop talking to me completely
Aww hun :( It's not easy. But five months isn't THAT long, and you're obviously important to him. If you're going to hold on, hold on. Just don't stop your life for him. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that things do happen for a reason.
If it helps you at all to know this, I really regret giving up.
Hope everything works out for you.
Timing is everything. Cliche I know. No reason to hold on to something that isn't working out right now whether in your terms or his, or even both. I know when I told the person I was seeing that I just want to be friends and that I am not ready for a relationship/commitment. I really meant it. Adding on, "maybe down the road" softens up the daggering knife I need to pull out from their chest. FALSE HOPE. It simply means that you aren't the one that can change their mind about being single. Doesn't mean you aren't great catch for someone else, just not for him and not at this time, and possibly never.
Why waste your time with him when you can date someone else who is on the same mindset as you at the same time? Never settle to be an option of just in case....
I have a similar situation, but when I try to walk away from the situation..(cutting all ties) the guy pulls the I can't believe you are doing this, I really care about you but i am not ready for a relationship right now but if I was you would be the person I would be with. I am tired of the back and forth, how do I tell him to man up and leave me alone
This post really helped me! I've been waiting on my best friend in hopes that he would feel something back but that sad and hurtful truth is he won't and I just need to move on. Thank you
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I just dropped my girlfriend after learning she had been some guys fuck buddy for 3 years when she met me...
I'm not gonna be the chump to get serious with some guys sex toy
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