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Should I be concerned if my boyfriend repeatedly comments on his ex-girlfriend's photos and statuses on Facebook?

That act alone probably means nothing, but context is important here.

For one, it depends on the type of comments he's leaving. There's a difference between being friendly and flirting, obviously. If he posts "HAWT!" on a bikini picture of her, then yeah, that's not good. If he writes things like, "Congrats," or "Happy birthday" or "I thought you hated sushi," I don't see the big deal.

Is he showing interest in her in other ways? Does he talk about her all the time? Or have they simply remained friends since their breakup (which is rare, but it does happen)? You have to look at the big picture. Leaving Facebook comments alone isn't evidence of a problem.

If it bothers you, you could ask him to stop. He'll tell you they're just friends, but if he knows you don't like it, maybe he'll back off a little.

Thanks for the question.

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13 Comments

Tariana

This is another case of the social networking site not doing any good to someone's social life.

silkysly

I never friend a guy I am seeing or let him friend me. It’s just too much drama that I can live without…

chrissie1101

copy that.

user-pic

What if we friended them before dating? I don't think I would defriend him once we became gf/bf.

chrissie1101

totally different, no, no defriending. not from me anyway, friends first is never a bad thing.

whatislove

But if he really is leaving THOSE kind of comments on someone else's (not to mention his ex's) profile, wouldn't you want to know? These things can end badly, and I say rather sooner than later.

nikitamaagel

I think people put down facebook a lot, saying it's just a website etc., but i do think that it's one of our generation's most important ways of communication and what goes on there shouldn't be ignored, and is definitely not meaningless. I agree that it trivialize a lot of things and that everything shouldn't be made public, but worrying about a boyfriend commenting on his ex's facebook page isn't silly or an overreaction.
That being said, I completely agree with Wise-Ass. It all depends on the context. It's human to stalk your boyfriend, and we've all done it -- just don't make it obvious if you do talk to him about it.

chrissie1101

whoa cowgirl on the generalizations. not all of us have stalked boyfriends. using FB as an excuse to do so is neither human nor normal. and that's exactly WHY people put FB down a lot. get off the computer and go open your front door right now. take a big deep breath and a big long look. THATS the real world, honey.

nikitamaagel

I guess it depends on your definition of "stalking". And please tone down the patronizing, thanks

user-pic

Looking at someone's page - friend or not - is sometimes referred to as "stalking".

chrissie1101

i guess i'm in the demographic that doesn't take that word lightly. frankly as i have said, my boyfriend isn't on my page i'm not on his. and i don't really give a booyah what he says to anybody on his page, it's what he says to me in real time that matters, that's it.

Tariana

Never stalked my bf. I have no intention of doing that either. That sorta makes me feel I don't trust him, more than anything. Besides... I don't have FB. =D

Cary McNeal

No one said it was silly or an overreaction to be concerned. My point is that you have to keep it in perspective and look at the big picture. You can't assume your boyfriend wants to get back with his ex just because he "Likes" one of her comments.

I like Facebook and I think it gets a bum rap. It's a communication tool, neither good nor bad. How people use it is what can cause problems. I think it does much more good than harm, and it's a lifesaver for those of us who are terrible correspondents.

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