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Should I tell the guy I'm dating that I'm a inexperienced? Im in my mid/late 20's and never really had sex. Except once, but it only lasted about a sec, then he got upset n stopped. I'm with a new guy now, but not sure what to do this time? Should I tell him in case I bleed again or is it okay not to say anything?

I think you should, because it's going to come up eventually and it's important for you and your boyfriend to prepare for it now.

Sex, unlike the movies will have you believe, is not some romantic Ryan Gosling Kissing You In The Rain And Laying You Down And Knowing Exactly What To Do fantasy experience. Sex takes teamwork and empathy and passion and effort. And all of that is firmly rooted in clear, unapologetic, honest communication.

My advice is to bring it up with him some time soon, before you think there's a chance that you two will end up having sex. It doesn't have to be an overly complicated conversation - something along the lines of "I really like you and I want to let you know that I don't have a lot of experience. When the time comes, you might need to be a little careful with me."

That's it. Two sentences and all of your cards are on the table. Your boyfriend/guy you're dating will know, be patient with you, take things slow, and work to make sure that you enjoy sex. You'll both be happier that way.

Good luck.

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2 Comments

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The way I told my guy was just "Hey, this isn't a big deal or anything, but I feel like I should tell you... I'm a virgin.." and he was just like no problem, I am too. No rush. I know I felt more comfortable knowing that he knew. Plus, being honest with someone from the beginning is better off.

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Lots of people are inexperienced even in their 20s. Hollywood & the media would have you believe everyone starts having sex in high school, but that's just not the case for many people. Even popular attractive people remain virgins until later in life. I'm a guy (not "Ryan Gosling level hot" but not so bad looking) and I didn't lose my virginity until my mid 20s. My gf was a virgin as well - and she was even a little bit older than me (in her late 20s).


We're still together 3+ years later and I'm now in my late 20s and she's in her early 30s. It doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be a big deal. But everyone should be honest with each other. I'm kinda glad she and I were older because we were more mature and responsible, better able to handle birth control, and more understanding and sympathetic with each other.

We both also **LOVED** the fact that we were each other's first. I know it sounds cheesy but it made it all the more special. It was a new experience for the both of us and we really bonded over that. I know some guys and some girls prefer to loose their virginity to someone with at least a little bit of experience - but not us. To each their own, I guess. Even if we were to ever break up, I will still be glad she was my first and that we both reached that milestone together.

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