tell them.

Fuck that answer for real ! If someone close to me, knew my significant other was cheating (had evidence, what have you) you bet your sweet ass I'd want to be enlightened. If she didn't let her girl know what was going on, she's just as guilty.

NOW....If this guy is just getting his jollies hitting on women (flirting, no actual physical contact) then stay clear.... He's a pig, he'll get found out.... But sexual advances, proof in some tangible form ( ew ) , dirty texts, anything, needs to come to the surface. Especially if the dweeb is trying to mack on his girlfriend's friends..... God fucking men stick together on this nonsense, disregard this fools advice.

I'm curious to know how the poster knows the women being played, and how she knows what the man is up to when he's away on business. Is the poster a jealous co-worker who isn't getting any?

I agree- Tell them

This answer is spot on except, for 2 things:

1) It's a bit harsh. A lot of barbs in this answer and it kinda dilutes the good points John is making.

2) John seems to assume she doesn't know any of the "other" women. As to those women, he's right probably right on. It's not really her business and they are likely to react very negatively. However, if you found out this guy is really cheating and one of the women is a close friend, I'd say you are obligated to reveal what you found out. Although, I do admit the question wording doesn't make it sound like she knows any of them, it is a possibility.

I don't know.. That may be a bit harsh.
I think the person who asked this question probabaly has proof that he IS cheating, not just flirting, as she asked 'Should I tell THESE WOMEN that they're being played'. Which means he probably has more than one lady friend, because I'm pretty sure that if he were in a relationship with one woman, and flirted with a few others while he was away, she wouldn't just go tell that random chick at the restaurant that he just winked at that she was being played.
But then again, maybe he's just dating and sleeping with more than one person, and all parties involved are aware that it's not a serious monogamous relationship, which would make her medling look unnecessary and psycho-ish.
Depends on the situation, but if you personally know any of these women, and you know they think they're in a serious relationship, AND you have PROOF that he's cheating, by all means, tell them.

(Hope that makes sense, I'm slightly tired and hungover (Yes, on a wednesday. It was my birthday yesterday))

If she had evidence, and is friends with these women, of course she should tell them. Why should she let her friends waste their time on some unfaithful asshole? If they aren't her friends, then there's not much she can do. Unless this guy is her friend, then she should give him a piece of her mind.

I love this answer and unless these women are your closet friends don't say anything. It will piss them off ha.

Unless the woman is wearing his ring or raising his children, or if he has made a commitment to her... isn't this what dating sounds like? Even if he's a player....REALLY... do any of us NOT know what a player looks like?! Fact: telling someone something negative that they do NOT want to hear, accept or acknowledge themselves isn't doing the listener or the speaker any favors. Some women think THEY'RE going to be the one to "reform" him. (E-freaking-gad...flawed logic!). Some will settle for the player, and remembering your effort to avert relationship disaster...exclude you from their social circle thereafter. Some will get angry and deny...some will leap to wild conclusions. And whether this is an innocent guy who flirts a little or just a walking snausage...well, the only appropriate thing to bring to a bonfire is marshmallows. Not people. (Even weenies grow up... most parents have great hopes for their kids.)

Sounds like somebody's not quite a "reformed" player.....Tell the girls!! They deserve to know...I would want to know....even if I was just FLIRTING with a scumbag....I'd rather know that I'm wasting my time.

Ugh! This guy gives terrible advice, assuming these women believe they're in a committed relationship. If, however, the relationships are not exclusive and these women know he's involved with other people, as I'm assuming they do since this concerns plural "women" and he's so open about flirting, I'd stay out of it. In any case, even if it's "just" hitting on other women, it's at worst a precursor to cheating and is at the very least a sign that he's inconsiderate of her feelings if she believes he's seeing her exclusively or a sign that he's not seeing the relationships going anywhere. However, the fact that he's seeing more than one woman does indicate that he's not just not that into them. Please forgive the patronizing Greg Behrendt reference. : )

Ugh! This guy gives terrible advice, assuming these women believe they're in a committed relationship. If, however, the relationships are not exclusive and these women know he's involved with other people, as I'm assuming they do since this concerns plural "women" and he's so open about flirting, I'd stay out of it. In any case, even if it's "just" hitting on other women, it's at worst a precursor to cheating and is at the very least a sign that he's inconsiderate of her feelings if she believes he's seeing her exclusively or a sign that he's not seeing the relationships going anywhere. However, the fact that he's seeing more than one woman does indicate that he's not just not that into them. Please forgive the patronizing Greg Behrendt reference. : )

As a woman who was 'played' and cheated on. Tell them. There were those who knew I was being played, but they chose not to say anything. So I end up with my heart broken and totally blindsided.

This idea that what she doesnt know wont hurt her is totally wrong. The idea that, let her enjoy the moment until she discovers otherwise also sucks.

I would much rather have known the truth early and perhaps I would not be so broken hearted today.

Simmer down now, everybody. I don't think you're being fair the the Reformed Player. He is here as a representative of the male population and is responding the the questions with real, honest male answers. You can't ask him to answer these questions for you, then be upset when he gives you the answers. Don't expect to receive the answers you want to hear, because that's not the Reformed Player's or any of the other guys' purpose.

I'm always the guy who ends up telling people in a situation like this, and it rarely works out well. I only get away with my behavior because I'm good friends with the people I tell and they know that I'm just incorrigible when it comes to blabbing about something like this. I claim that I divulge my info in the spirit of honesty, which is true, but I also do enjoy the excitement of drama. Nobody wants to be in this position, and the Reformed Player is right in saying that the poster should not tell the women.

Despite your disagreement with his position, you need to put yourself in the position of the other women that the poster would be telling. Most likely, you would tell her to back off because she doesn't know you and she should mind her own business. Face it, right or wrong, you wouldn't want to be told.

Seriously TELL THEM. Even if you know them well or not will not matter when shit hits the fan!

I was all in 'love' with a guy from the mall. I'd spend my breaks and lunch time where he worked and such to get to know him better and stuff. Well one day out of the blue one of his coworkers had told me he was married! I didn't want to believe it but it was true. I'd gone in to talk to him one day and behold his wife was there and he quickly rushed her to the backroom so I couldn't confront him! And all before this had happened I saw he wore a ring and ASKED what it was for and he told me it was a sentimental thing from his dad and a way to help him deter women away he didn't want to waste time on. And stupidly I believed him until his coworker told me he was indeed married. But what makes it worse is he actually took me home sometimes after work invited me for drinks and such until I confronted him. After that I thought I was done with him but not so much he ended up getting work at my place of employment!

That was exciting... NOT he wondered why I was so standoffish with him and what not. Plus it didn't help his case one bit that 2/3 of the people working knew about what he pulled with me so they too were cold to him :P but still he kept trying to hit on gals there but we all quickly squashed that. He was also trying to tell the gals two stiroes about his ring, the sentimental story he told me and another one saying it was a $10 walmart ring... and that I was crazy and /I/ was the one to blame ect ect. Guys like him will start things first normally by flirting and trying to get more time with you but when it blows up they want to blame the gals they tried to play.

So if you know ANY of these gals and the guy is acting much at all like that guy did to me SAY SOMETHING!!! Get the dbags game messed up and make him trip and stumble!

Otherwise if it's like what some others said and they all know he's not 100% commited to them and he let them know ahead of time then leave it alone. Not every flirty wink means something. Is the guy a waiter? Cuz if those people don't try to flirt a bit or be fun lovin that hurts tips and ultimately paychecks so yeah... I'd say know for sure before you tell them so you don't look badly or seem like you're acting petty or jealous.

Oh dearest John, if he doesn't want his girlfriend to know, and he wouldn't cop to it, it's cheating. Dear poster, say you think he is cheating. She will confront him and what could be more of a player rush than trying to find a good lie on the spot?

I disagree with this, though I understand where 'Reformed Player' is coming from, but in the end, Mr. DeVore, you were quite rude in this response, she was merely asking for advice, and she didn't say she was for sure going to tell them and be, as you so quaintly put it: 'a drama slut.' She was asking advice, the least you could have done was give it to her in a nicer way.

Wow,Mr.DeVore,if thats not a "guilty of the same crime" kind of answer,I don't know what is ;-]

I ttly agree with mr devore's advice don't tell her or any of the other women. He's right u will be viewed as a nosey trble maker, we women say we wnt 2 kno but really we dnt. The 1st thng women do whn they find out their mate is cheating they immediately make excuses & dnt wna blieve it to be true. I have been the friend to tell & the friend to not tell I got burnt both times. Whn I tld my friend confronted her guy he gave her a lame excuse & it was a wrap. Whn I didn't tell & she found out I knew she was upset as well. I'd rather not tell than to tell & she cont to date the douche bag cuz to me that's a slap in the face.