"He said sex was about conquering, not love." Ah, a true romantic. And you married this schlub?
Clearly you two need to have some heart-to-hearts about this problem so you can find out what the hell is really going on. You also need to insist on a better reason than "sex is about conquering, not love." If he really believes that, why did he marry you? And now there's a kid in the oven who will be joining this fustercluck in a few months? Perfect.
Sit Genghis down and make him tell you exactly why you two aren't having sex anymore. Is he having an affair? Is he no longer sexually attracted to you? Does he not want kids? What? You are his wife, and you deserve an answer. Demand one, and don't let him off the hook with flimsy excuses or ridiculous proclamations about the nature of love. Like he would know.
If he still loves you and wants to fix the problem, you can try marital counseling. If he's fine with a sexless marriage and doesn't care about your needs, then you should seriously consider leaving him. You deserve a man who knows that sex is about love, not conquering.
Thanks for the question.
This sort of reminds me of Charlotte and her first husband on Sex & the City. He wouldn't have sex with her because he saw her as his innocent angel wife and saw sex as an act set aside for sluts or loose women. Maybe that's the case here? Not sure, but it sounds very upsetting. I feel bad for her.
Lol, Ghengis.
I am taken aback by the fact that she did not know about this before marrying him. Or she did, and went ahead with the wedding anyway. TskTsk.
How did Mr. Spock from Star Trek put it..."Having is not nearly as fun as wanting".
Genghis is actually a poor example to use as a bad husband. Westerners and Europeans simply hated him, so most only read bad crap about him, half of which are propagandistic lies.
Temujin was actually a romantic at heart. Started off as kind of a bumbling dufus geek, until a rival tribe kidnapped his wife to be, Borte. He went into a 'nerd rage' to rescue her, which it was discovered he was a military genius. Unlike most rulers in history who threw away their wives when they grew old, Temujin and Borte stayed married for life. Even when he took other women, he only did so with her encouragement, she would even pick out women she thought were worthy to be with her husband.
One of the Mongol legends goes that Genghis Khan wanted to make the world safe so that no woman would ever again have to be kidnapped or raped.
I was using him as an example of a conqueror, not a bad husband.
Thanks for the history lesson, though. *grin*
It's ok RP.... I got it ;)
And to the OP, what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot?
Oops! I can't believe I just called WA RP!!!
*blushes*
i want to comment on the trapped part of the question..if u feel this way u def need to deal with it especially with a child on the way. that child the the priority and u need to do everything u can to deal with this situation so ur child isnt negatively affected by his/her mother being in an unhappy marriage. and trust me children can tell
This is soooo bad. If he's just trying to conquer, he will conquer someone else.
what if he i just freaked out by the fact that she is pregnant? some guys don't want to have sex with a pregnant woman thinking its gross or they'll hurt the baby. maybe this conquer thing is just a lame excuse to cover up him feeling weird about the pregnant sex? no matter what a heart to heart about the situation is necessary. i hope it all works out.