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So FG, would men in general consider an older woman for a LTR? Im 5 years older (37) than my crush but he's told me he's surprised by my age because I look younger than him. Or would a man disregard age if chemistry &where we are in life are compatible? Truthfully?

This whole "age gap" thing gets a ton of traction on our site. Conventional wisdom has people doubled over with fear that unless you and your partner's DOB is within 90 days of each other, you're screwed. That's not always true.

Your age differences and the little bit of information you share makes me say: Yeah, you guys may be just fine. Here's why: there are times in our development, emotionally, physically, etc that are like "power years", or what I'll call "development-steroid-years." They'repacked with challenges, and experiences, events that make us grow.

For example, think of you were when you were 11 and when you were 16. Huge difference. Development steroids off the charts. Think about 20 and 25. Maybe not as obvious but those are some serious hurdles and life building block moments.

At 37 and 32, IF your man is emotionally mature, aware that your 37 and loves your vibe and looks, I say why not. 32 and 37 for a specific man and woman can click and be totally reasonable - just as coupls that are 88 and 93 seem to work just fine. Are people telling 93 year olds to stay the hell away from 88 year olds? Robbing the geriatric cradle? Diaper chasers? Etc.

You'll find two things to be true when this whole age difference question comes up. 1. It's usually focused on women involved with younger men and 2. Once you're in your 30's or older it's a very different scenario then teenagers or very young adults dating.

For most (not all*) being in your thirties has allowed for some sort of self discovery and sense of identity. You know what you want and what you don't. You have an inkling who you are and who you may want to work to become. If Mr. 32 seems to be in that headspace and it meshes with yours - let your chemistry lead the way, not your calculator.

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3 Comments

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"LTR"?

Tariana

long-term relationship :)

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I am a 32 year old girl and my boyfriend is 23... he says he actually prefers the fact that I am so much older than him because I'm a lot more rational and thoughtful than the girls around his age. He loves to brag about our age difference - I think he actually sees it as a badge of honor! I say if you don't FEEL old then who cares how old you are? A good guy will not worry about the age difference; he'll be more concerned with how you get along and how much fun you have together.

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