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So, he asked me to tell him one of my fantasies... I told him the idea of being tied up and spanked turns me on. He looked at me like I said I wanted to get gang banged by the local motorcycle club. I can't take it back. Now what?

He asked for it. Flip it around on him. Why is he such a prude? This dude sounds like he could shuck an oyster with his ass cheeks. Getting tied up and spanked is Kinky 101. Don't feel like a freak. Stand-up for yourself. Break his precious little balls. How does he like it? What's one of his fantasies? Sex with the lights on? Socks off? Are you dating the Taliban?

I'm sorry, but this guy really pisses me off. Men can be such frowning, wrinkle-nosed fuddy-duddys. He asked. You were vulnerable and did what he asked. You opened up. Trusted him. And now he's made you feel ashamed. Check it chica: you're normal. Fun even. This bro has a problem. He's blander than a beige envelope. And judgmental. Was he raised by nuns? I'm absolutely serious about turning the tables. You should make him cry. Bury his face in a pillow, the lamewad.

Here's a truth I've learned over the years. Women are far more wild in bed than men. Everything I've ever learned about sex, I learned from the women in my life. From hushed, pornographic narration of exactly what I'm going to do to her writhing body, to pulling her hair while rocking her from behind, all of my most important sex lessons have come from my lovers. The best lesson is that sex is awesome, and it's about two people agreeing to doing whatever it takes to make the other person shudder with pleasure. Convulse. Sweat. Yodel. There are boundaries, of course. I say any fantasy that involves bruises, blood, or sex in the chemical toilets of pressurized tubes flying at 35,000 feet is off limits. But that's me. Whatever you need, it should be given to you like a great big present.

If you don't feel like raking this guys taint over hot coals, then one night while going at it, sweetly beg him to gently smack your ass. If he says "no," plead a little. Playfully. If he EFFING ACTS LIKE A MAN and does it... show him what it does to you. Take his hand in your hand, and show him what it does to you with his fingers. Kiss him like his face is made of warm biscuits. This should do it.

If not, you should begin to consider the possibility that the two of you are sexually incompatible. For instance, you're normal. And he's a priggish old maid.

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15 Comments

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tell him you were joking, your biggest fantasy is to be tied to a fucking-machine by 5 chinese midgets while you perform oral sex to Buck Angel :)) If he doesn`t get the subtle hint and runs away you should be glad he will never ask a woman her fantasies and judge EVER.lol.

Mannon

He shouldn't be asking questions he doesn't really want the answers to, for starters. But what kind of wierdo asks about your fantasies if they've no intention of exploring them with you? And then has the nerve to make out like you're in the wrong for sharing them? F*ck that noise. Make him squirm.

Edy

Serious shit.

All yous guys/gal summed it up fantabulously. Make him see what a panzee he's being. Nuns have more of an imagination than this guy.

Dovey

Being tied up and spanked is pretty vanilla in the kinky spectrum. What a prude.

user-pic

He was probably hoping she'd offer up a threesome :P

user-pic

I'm the original "asker". I showed him your response John, he thinks you "may have a point", but also thinks my age should affect what I fantasize about. I'm 45, he's 40.

I just explained that while my body might be a little older, my brain is still young. He says when I put it that way, you're right, he is being a prude and will try to loosen up and be more open to things.

So, thanks one and all.

user-pic

"MAY" have a point?? Come on. Why should getting older make you more vanilla?? If anything it should make you MORE kinky because you've probably already DONE all the vanilla stuff. Besides, you're not old!!!!!!!!!!!!! But he might as well be 80, the way he's acting. He better not just "try" to loosen up - he better buy a paddle and some fuzzy handcuffs or else I'd kick his boring a$$ to the curb.

user-pic

45 is in no way, shape or form "old." He's younger than you, but he's the one acting old by being so prissy.
Tell him to man up or you'll leave for a 30-year old.

user-pic

Being tied up and spanked really isn't that wild...
However, being tied up and being slathered with chocolate sauce while he licks it off while using a vibrating dildo on your hot spot and then flipping you over to GENTLY spank you while you do it doggie style...now that's kinda kinky, my dear.
And you can tell him I told you this. I've been corrupted for years. Hahaha
Time to break out the leather dominatrix costume and Hershey's...Toodles!

Mags Happy

I'm still stuck on "pulling her hair while rocking her from behind"...yeahhh. Nice touch, John~

rxy

I kinda agree... but i personally enjoy pretty ruff sex, (and live in france) and well i enjoy the bruising... the love bites...i feel as though they are just as ephemeral and the love making we just experience, but is just a faded image of that.

That is of course not the norm, and whatever happens in the sack should be consensual. You should never be embaressed by what you like...that said infantalists... THAT'S something i wouldn't really be ok, but you are way into the "norm" when talking about fantasies.

user-pic

John, seriously, you're crazy hot. Pulling her hair while rocking her from behind"...Good gosh...

user-pic

But what kind of wierdo asks about your fantasies if they've no intention of exploring them with you

user-pic

I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.

user-pic

I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this blog. Keep up the great work.

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