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A good friend of mine kissed me with no warning whatsoever! I have a boyfriend that I am deeply in love with and I never want to hurt him! Even though I didn't consent to this kiss, I'm feeling really guilty about it. How do I tell my boyfriend that this happened?

This is a really unfortunate situation, because while there will likely be fallout from doing so, I think you absolutely do need to tell your boyfriend. If it's a serious relationship, this is exactly the kind of transparency that shouldn't be a big deal. You did nothing wrong; you can talk about it openly.

But unless your boyfriend's particularly cool (which who knows, maybe he is), there's a good chance he'll feel weird about you hanging out with the unnamed presumptive friend. But if you let that keep you from discussing things with your boyfriend, I can virtually guarantee it will blow up in your face in an almost hilarious fashion.

If the friend that kissed you knew about your boyfriend, then that's lame. They inflicted this unfortunate chore upon you, and may have damaged your ability to carry on a friendship. Be pissed about that if possible, because I think that's the logical response here, and one your boyfriend will likely endorse.

Of course, if the brokenhearted friend submits a question tomorrow, I'll tell him to make a big romantic gesture to try and win you away.

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44 Comments

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i like this question!! it's a good one.

Dovey

Yeah, great question, great answer! Ugh, I would be so pissed if this happened to me. Since he seems to be a close friend, I'm assuming he knew about your boyfriend. What a terrible thing for him to do to someone who considers him a good friend!

baybee2308

This happened to me too! Like you, I felt extremely guilty and I just had to tell my boyfriend. He was mad at first and didn't really want to talk to me but I let him cool down and he came around. He just doesn't want me hanging around that guy anymore. And it's completely understandable. If he gets mad at you just give him time to cool off and relax rather than push him to talk to you. Usually it just makes him get even angrier with you. He just needs time to think things through. Good luck! Hope all goes well(:

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Why would you tell your boyfriend and create issues in a relationship that has nothing to do with this guy? Just let it go. One of the easiest ways to break up a relationship (speaking from experience) is to spend enough time/energy/contact with the person you want that their partner - who actually does see what's going on - gets angry, possessive and jealous which then drives them away. But splitting up a couple when the partner is cool and impervious to jealousy-inducing behaviors is much harder. Don't feed into his plan.

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If she doesn't tell her boyfriend, she runs the risk of him finding out from the friend or from someone else and that would be a much worse fate than her just telling him herself.

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Just have a 3 some and you'll get over it.

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