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I asked my boyfriend of 2 months why he doesnt like hanging out over at my house (I live with my parents), and he said he's "in his element" at his house and doesn't like being out of it! What?! Help!

Well, the easy answer is to convince your parents to scrupulously redesign their house's interior to exactly match the interior of your boyfriend's house. Then the next time you're sleeping over at his place, wait until he's really out and gently "drag" him to his new home.

The reason that's the easy answer is because the more realistic alternative is to get him to be less selfish, which is decidedly more difficult. It sounds like your guy either a) doesn't care for your parents or b) isn't into you enough to want to stop playing video games in his beanbag chair to come see you. Either way, you're in for a challenge.

Which isn't to say you should give up hope. Women have been inspiring men to personal growth for eons. Why, if it weren't for my own wife, I never would have learned the Zither! But you need to know where you stand, and currently, you're being outranked by a group of inanimate objects.

It's very natural for humans to enjoy spending time at home. And, sadly, it's equally natural for a guy to take advantage of his girlfriend for the sake of convenience. The neat thing is, especially in this situation, he can only take advantage of you if you let him (unless he's perfected teleportation technology).

So stop coming over whenever he calls, and let him know if he wants to keep you he's going to have to roll out of bed, put on a shirt, and leave the house once in a while. NO, that's not too much to ask, and if he's not willing to do it, he's only going to get worse down the line.

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60 Comments

lindsay

well, does he avoid leaving his house in general, or do you guys go out regularly and he just doesn't seem to enjoy hanging at your parents? because while he may be lazy, he could also just feel super awkward around your family. there's a definite sense of awareness put on normal couple affection when around the parents; i've been married for three years and my husband and i still hesitate to sit close too close on my parents couch or casually kiss goodbye. even when in a private room, i remember from my teenage years feeling suspect and frowned upon. so maybe he's just uncomfortable?

Courtney

Dude! I know totally how that is! I've been married for three years, just had a baby, and I'm STILL like "Omg don't hold my hand in FRONT OF MY PARENTS."

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wow you 2 have got some issues or some retarded parents, you're MARRIED, I'm pretty sure you're parent know you do a little more than hand holding on a regular basis.. you're both dumb.

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Swaim I think you missed out on the possibility that he simply wants to be able to randomly surprise her with carnal pleasures.

And trust me nothing is a bigger "boner melter" than having her mom walking in and asking if anyone wants any lemonade midway during a particularly enthusiastic session of cunnilingus. (UNCOMFORTABLE)

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He could have a mild case of agoraphobia, too. I, personally, really don't like being in other places. It's not due to laziness, but being extremely uncomfortable outside of my lair.

Megan

Having your parents walk in on you is awful. Absolutly awful. My dad as seen my bare ass. Kill me. I feel like I want to sink in the floor just thinking about it.

Penryn

Well, if he doesn't live with his parents and you do, I'd say his place is the place to be. As long as you two go out to restaurants, bars, theatres, sewage treatment plants (or whatever other fun places kids these days go....) then I wouldn't worry about anything. I like being with the person I am dating, being around parents (especially early on, 2 months is very brief!!) not so much... adds stress. So, I think it is fine, but again, as long as you aren't STUCK at his place, as long as you go out and do fun things :-)

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hahahahaha. I love your question. Totally cute.

Just tell him to man up and come over. He will have to deal with parents if you guys are young. If your parents are Nazi's, it would be hard for anyone in his position, but otherwise, he should really not put his comfort before everything else.

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you're parents may be Nazis indeed. that's what my boyfriend's parents are, so I avoid his' place like the plague. We will always hang here at my place if possible, to stay away from his terrible parents and 3 siblings who run around like hyperactive baboons.

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