Well, it sounds like your boyfriend is the sort of guy who puts his "best male friends" before his "ladies of the evening." That's how the popular phrase goes, right? Let me consult the Internet..."Bros before hos"?! That is so sexist!
I don't know the full extent of your relationship, but I'm going to guess the whole "threatening to call the cops on his best friend" thing had something to do with his decision to call it quits. Because, uh, that's kind of messed up. I'm sure the friend is a stupid jerky jerkface and you hate him and all, but come on. That threat was maybe a tad on the cray-cray side, no? My guess is your boyfriend thinks you went too far with threatening to call the cops on his best friend and is now worried about what you might do to him should things turn sour. Sorry, but you probably spooked him, and he's siding with his best friend here.
There were times that I didn't like one of my girlfriend's friends. (I'm talking about past girlfriends. My current girlfriend's friends are all awesome!) It sucks, I know. But you know what I did? I didn't hang out with them. I let my girlfriend go have girl time and tried my best to avoid being in the same room as the friend, or friends, that I disliked. If it's a group thing where I have to see the friend in question (birthday party, wedding, etc.) I would suck it up, be the bigger person, and try to avoid talking to them. And that approach has worked out just fine for me.
Yes, it sucks that you hate his best friend. But guess what? You aren't dating his friend. Did you tell your boyfriend how much his friend is affecting your relationship before it escalated? Is winning a fight with his friend more important than your boyfriend? Did you try to bite your tongue and be the bigger person? I'm not saying your boyfriend isn't at fault here, either. If he wanted everything to be civil, he should have kept you guys apart. He should have realized how much you hate each other, and avoided this situation by hanging out with his best friend without you around. But having his best friend and his girlfriend in the same room was more important to him for some reason, and now he has to deal with the fallout.
How long has he known his best friend? Over a year, I assume? So he chose him over you. It sucks, but now you know what type of guy he is and what is important to him. At least you only spent a year on him. I think you should break up and move on. Even if you guys work it out, the friend isn't going away, and you've now escalated the drama to a ridiculous degree. Outside of the friend getting violent with you, I can't think of any situation which would have warranted you threatening to narc on him. Therefore, I can see why your boyfriend might side with his friend here based on the information you've provided.
If his friend is more important, let him go and learn from this relationship. Clearly there are some anger and revenge issues to work through here. Hopefully you'll find someone who keeps better company; someone who has friends you will get along with. In the meantime, focus on getting past the whole revenge thing. If someone really, really wrongs you, that's one thing. But most of the time, it just ends up making things worse. I mean, look at Batman. That guy hasn't had a decent night's sleep in decades. When will it be enough, Batman? When will you make peace with your parents' tragic murder and hang up your cape?
I don't know the full extent of your relationship, but I'm going to guess the whole "threatening to call the cops on his best friend" thing had something to do with his decision to call it quits. Because, uh, that's kind of messed up. I'm sure the friend is a stupid jerky jerkface and you hate him and all, but come on. That threat was maybe a tad on the cray-cray side, no? My guess is your boyfriend thinks you went too far with threatening to call the cops on his best friend and is now worried about what you might do to him should things turn sour. Sorry, but you probably spooked him, and he's siding with his best friend here.
There were times that I didn't like one of my girlfriend's friends. (I'm talking about past girlfriends. My current girlfriend's friends are all awesome!) It sucks, I know. But you know what I did? I didn't hang out with them. I let my girlfriend go have girl time and tried my best to avoid being in the same room as the friend, or friends, that I disliked. If it's a group thing where I have to see the friend in question (birthday party, wedding, etc.) I would suck it up, be the bigger person, and try to avoid talking to them. And that approach has worked out just fine for me.
Yes, it sucks that you hate his best friend. But guess what? You aren't dating his friend. Did you tell your boyfriend how much his friend is affecting your relationship before it escalated? Is winning a fight with his friend more important than your boyfriend? Did you try to bite your tongue and be the bigger person? I'm not saying your boyfriend isn't at fault here, either. If he wanted everything to be civil, he should have kept you guys apart. He should have realized how much you hate each other, and avoided this situation by hanging out with his best friend without you around. But having his best friend and his girlfriend in the same room was more important to him for some reason, and now he has to deal with the fallout.
How long has he known his best friend? Over a year, I assume? So he chose him over you. It sucks, but now you know what type of guy he is and what is important to him. At least you only spent a year on him. I think you should break up and move on. Even if you guys work it out, the friend isn't going away, and you've now escalated the drama to a ridiculous degree. Outside of the friend getting violent with you, I can't think of any situation which would have warranted you threatening to narc on him. Therefore, I can see why your boyfriend might side with his friend here based on the information you've provided.
If his friend is more important, let him go and learn from this relationship. Clearly there are some anger and revenge issues to work through here. Hopefully you'll find someone who keeps better company; someone who has friends you will get along with. In the meantime, focus on getting past the whole revenge thing. If someone really, really wrongs you, that's one thing. But most of the time, it just ends up making things worse. I mean, look at Batman. That guy hasn't had a decent night's sleep in decades. When will it be enough, Batman? When will you make peace with your parents' tragic murder and hang up your cape?
