It could be any number of reasons:
- You're not getting enough foreplay. This is pretty common, especially if you're younger and are dealing with partners who don't get this whole "mutual pleasure" thing.
- You're not having the sex you want. Sex is a lot more than position; for example, some people only enjoy sex when they feel totally in control, and others enjoy sex only when they feel completely out of control.
- You're not in the emotional headspace to enjoy sex. Sex is heavily tied to emotions, especially in women; for example, if you're having sex with your partner because you feel obligated, that may make it difficult to enjoy it, to say the least.
Ask yourself this: is there something you want that you're not getting? When you've been having sex, do you want to have sex? If not, what do you think will make you want to have sex? Experiment, ask questions, it's really the only way to learn.
I would advise asking your gynecologist about any possible medical concerns at your next appointment, but answering those questions should do it for you.
Go to a gynecologist!! I had similar issues when I first started having sex and it turned out that I had a yeast infection that was making sex very painful. There's a laundry list of things it could be--even if it's just a foreplay or mental thing, they see women with these issues all the time. Don't wait--make an appt ASAP. And in the meantime, don't subject yourself to painful intercourse. Talk to your partner. Take dan's advice. Sex is not meant to be a miserable experience that you just grin and bear.
Hey, you also could be perfectly normal! I think its easy in our society to feel inadequate or panic when sex isn't fireworks and rainbows every time. We've made sex go from one of the most natural things into something prescribed with certain moves and rules and secrets that are completely nerve wracking (in my opinion anyways!). There is a lot going on when you're having sex and I definitely had a hard time focusing on just letting it feel good when I first started.
For me sex always sounded a lot better in theory than it did in practice until I started having sex with my current boyfriend. Before that I had a couple flings and one night stands, which were pretty unsatisfying because I don't think I was totally confident or comfortable so things went down hill from there. But with my boyfriend I've had a chance to try things and open up and feel comfortable and secure during sex which makes a huge difference in the enjoyment factor. If you're laying there feeling nervous (or even guilty) about not getting off like a movie star then you can probably be sure you aren't going to get off at all.
So my suggestion basically is to be nice to yourself and relax! Try out different things that you think might feel good- maybe they will, maybe they won't but there is only one way to figure it out. If you're with an understanding guy he'll be happy to try things and see what gets you off. I still don't always get off from just sex, I really like oral and other stuff to get the job done. Maybe it will be the same for you-- and there is nothing wrong with that! So take some pressure off yourself, try out some different angles and situations and know that sex totally does get better, you just have to take the time to find what works!
holy bad medical advice, batman. it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL for sex to hurt the first SEVERAL times you do it. You're putting something big in a space that isn't used to it; it takes time to adjust. Foreplay, LOTS OF LUBE, and a partner who is willing to take his time will help you out.
Sex takes time to figure out. How to thrust, how to move, how to do it so that it feels good for both of you-- all of this takes time.
Some people (especially men) who have been having sex for years may not remember/know that it hurts you for a while. And it doesn't hurt everyone; but it IS NORMAL. Now, if you've had sex 40 times and it still hurts every time, you need to get checked out-- but 3 is not a lot. At all.
If you're interested, an ob/gyn or anyone at a place such as planned parenthood can fill you in on all things sex. It's good stuff to know, and they're trained, so you needn't be embarrassed to ask.
Just curious…, how old are you?
this is COMPLETELY normal, OP, and i wouldn't worry about it. like with anything, sex takes practice to get good at it! and certain positions will feel better/worse than others depending on how you and your guy are 'structured'. so go have sex, lots of sex, try out different positions, and ALWAYS communicate - you shouldn't put up with pain.
One thing that disappoints me is girls don't try and figure out their bodies by themselves (masturbation).
Penetration does take time to learn to enjoy and many failed and disappointing attempts to get it where it will feel good, but if anyone thinks that someone else will know your body so well to get you off, you're crazy, and better be prepared to fake it.
Spend some time exploring what feels good on yourself, and when you have that down, then sex will start to be amazing.
Oh! No one should ever have sex because they feel obligated! If that's the case, then the sex could be good but won't be mind-blowing out of this world. Sex should happen because you find each other hot and lust for each other!!
I am fully convinced that is why my current has great sex, while women of my past was good at best. She really does lust for me, she's told me she sees my body for her gratification and demands the same from me, which of course I happily oblige. I am now certain the others did it only out of obligation or duty and not desire.