I don't think you were anything other than a friend. A good friend at that and the kind of friend he was happy to have and probably misses. Here's the problem, he has a girlfriend now, and naturally, once we start dating, some of our friendships take a hit, perhaps unfairly. We start spending all of our time with them and are never available.
Our male friends don't take it personal because they know the deal. Our female friends tend to take it personal and get upset that we chose somebody over them.
Here's the other thing, female best friends are always the first to go because very few woman genuinely trust any other woman who's been that close to her man. For some reason, all women assume that every other woman wants their man despite all evidence to the contrary. Women don't trust other women either. So while he's not doing it on purpose, I'm sure he's just dating a woman who hasn't met you and isn't fully comfortable with the relationship you had. It's retarded and shouldn't be that way, but it is.
And it's normal.
It's just what happens when men and women have opposite sex best friends.
But don't take it so personal...I'm sure ALL of his friends are missing him too.
It's very true. Don't take it personal, because they let go of both their girl friends and guy friends. For example, I have a guy friend who's best friend just recently got into a relationship. They used to be bar buddies on weekends, but now the one in the relationship would rather stay home with his new girl. I can tell my friend misses his bff, because now he drags me out to the bars on weekends trying to fill the void. It's just what happens at the start of every relationship.
Honestly, I don't think the way he's acting is "stupid" or "unfair". It would be "unfair" to his girlfriend if he's spending just as much time and/or being just as emotionally intimate with some other girl as he is with her. If that were the case, there would be no reason to date the girlfriend in the first place. Plus, I firmly, FIRMLY believe that when a guy and girl (assuming they're both straight) maintain a close friendship for a while, eventually one will want more. Always. So it would be completely fair and reasonable for the girlfriend to feel uncomfortable with this guy having a very close female friend.
Just let it go.
I do not agree at all. I have a number of close male friends and nothing has ever happened and I have no reason to believe it will. And yes, he shouldn't spend as much time with me as with his girlfriend, but he can still hang out every once in a while right?
i also do not agree, and it is stupid and presumptious for you to assume that all women and men that hold close friendships will get "attached" or want more; i have 2 very close male friends, and they are both dating and they both told their girlfriends that i am a significant part of their lives. in the combined 14 years that i have known these 2 men, nothing more sexual than "motorboatin" has occurred. we tell each other that we love one another and even kiss on the lips... no problems. maybe YOU have that problem and cant seperate friendship from wanting more.
i also do not agree, and it is stupid and presumptious for you to assume that all women and men that hold close friendships will get "attached" or want more; i have 2 very close male friends, and they are both dating and they both told their girlfriends that i am a significant part of their lives. in the combined 14 years that i have known these 2 men, nothing more sexual than "motorboatin" has occurred. we tell each other that we love one another and even kiss on the lips... no problems. maybe YOU have that problem and cant seperate friendship from wanting more.
I find this is only a problem if the best friend is secretly in love with the boyfriend and it's painfully obvious to everyone except for the boyfriend.
I don't know why the asker is so confused by this. This is not just typical with guy friends, but girl friends too. Most of my friends (of both genders), after they enter a new relationship, drop off the face of the planet. At this point, I've learned to just roll my eyes and deal.
I think the asker may have started developing feelings for her bff. If so, I've been there and it completely sucks. Sorry. :(
I solved a similar issue by going out of my way to get to know the new girlfriend. Turns out she's pretty cool... and now do I not only have a new friend, I'm included in their "together" plans a lot more often. She and I have even started doing stuff together without him sometimes. I think I've built up a trust with her... she knows I love him, but more like a brother.
Sure, I sometimes wish that I could spend more one-on--one time with my guy bff. But, the newness will wear off eventually... and things will go back to something like normal.
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