Well, a good first step would be looking up the word "fetish," which I have graciously done for you.
Fetish (N.) - 1. an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. 2. Not blowjobs.
Saying that enjoying a blowjob is "some mentally-based fetish" is like saying he's got this "weird thing about eating food EVERY DAY." And he "admitted" to it? I don't think I've ever heard a blowjob discussed in such hateful terms.
If you really want to compromise, one thing you can do is understand that blowjobs aren't a weird secret rite; they're the act of jiggling your man's junk in your mouth because it makes him feel fantastic.
And nothing in existence disgusts you more? Google "anal prolapse" then come back here and tell me that. WARNING: DO NOT GOOGLE ANAL PROLAPSE. I'M NOT GOING TO WARN YOU AGAIN.
Okay, ranting over. Sorry, but when someone attacks the venerable institution of suckin' dick, someone's got to speak up. Now the good news for you is, there's plenty your man can do to make the experience more pleasant for you.
Firstly, he can and should wash himself before you go down on him. With soap. It's really not that hard to do, so don't let him bitch about it.
Secondly, as to his gargantuan member...you know, a blowjob still works without the entire length of his penis inside your mouth. Just a bit is fine.
And if your jaw starts to hurt overly, take a break, have him eat you out for a while, then switch again. Or switch to licking him or stroking him for a while. The blowjob is such a wonderland of different techniques, there's no reason you should just be mechanically taking it to the point of aching bones.
And lastly, I'm not sure how you guys deal with "the aftermath," but as I discussed a few days ago, most of us don't really care if you spit or swallow, so if part of the "horrible taste" you mention is his, uh...oreo creme...know that that's entirely optional (and I hear it tastes better if he eats a lot of pineapple. Go figure).
ehh...You know what , if you don't like doing it, then don't do it. Plain and simple. I don't blame you one bit. For one thing, every time you go down on a guy , unprotected you are risking the chance of exposing yourself to STD related goodies, via oral. More and more people are getting HPV related oral cancer because they go down without some sort of dental dam...Safe sex, is the best kind of sex hun, and if you don't like doing it anyways he ought to respect your choice. Thats all I'm sayin...
I agree with you in principle, but I feel like she could at least try a few things to see if it's REALLY that she doesn't enjoy doing it, or just that he has huge filthy junk and no one's taught her how to not hurt yourself giving a blowjob. I mean, she asked for a compromise..."nope, not doing it ever for the rest of your life" is not a compromise, and would drive most men I know to cheating or suicide.
So I can risk my health, to keep him from cheating on me?... Yeah that makes a lot of sense... And this goes back to what I have been thinking all along.. A majority of men , are selfish...Truly selfish, if you LOVE the person, you never threaten them with an ultimatum regarding what you want sexually.. Her partner made it well known he wants oral. The compromise should be that they either use protection, or he comes to an understanding that she does not like doing it and therefore backs off .
I would respect a guy if he wasn't into eating me out. Fuck I don't blame him, women are just as capable of giving a guy some nasty ass STD (ugh the human mouth is disgusting, I am a dental tech so I see everything , maybe this is why I am so paranoid about the whole oral thing ) , or he can find someone whose down for that.
Who said not to use protection? Use a beekeeper's hat if you want. I'm just saying this person asked for advice on a compromise that would make oral sex a possibility for them, and I suggested several. If none of those work out, they can figure things out from there. There's no ultimatum implied, just an understanding that some may find oral distasteful simply because they haven't figured out what works for them yet. I don't honestly think not giving your boyfriend oral sex will definitely result in him cheating on you, just like I don't honestly believe it will drive him to suicide.
And as a side note, if your man isn't eating you out, you are missing out on what is unquestionably one of the great pleasures of life. I'd suggest revisiting the act at a time when you're feeling less sainted.
I scrolled through the argument n I gotta agree with Swaim on this one. My husband's junk is as big as a housecat and there are ways to get things done without it slamming through the back of my skull Kratos-style. Also, I guess after being married to the dude and doing all sorts of nasty things I don't worry about STD's anymore? I mean, she did mention that he was her fiance and not some random dude, and if a compromise about giving head is their biggest problem I imagine they're both pretty clean.
"women are just as capable of giving a guy some nasty ass STD (ugh the human mouth is disgusting, I am a dental tech so I see everything , maybe this is why I am so paranoid about the whole oral thing )"
I love the implication that dirty mouths are what you should be concerned about, not diseased genitals.
It sounds like she's more worried about the woman passing an STD to her fiance.
Yeah, and you could also get HIV and STDs from having plain old intercourse unprotected, but for god-sakes, this is her freaking fiancé. Isn't there a point in most relationships when you start trusting that your partner has clean junk (presumably after you've both been tested)? Any sexual act unprotected is a risk, but in a committed, monogamous relationship most people take their chances. When has sex ever been about sterility?
I have mixed feelings about these kinds of responses when it comes to blowjobs. When a woman says she finds giving oral sex disgusting or it makes her feel uncomfortable, the response seems to almost always be "but it's so important, he might break up with you over it," with the emphasis being on sucking dick and not on reciprocity. If a guy complains that he hates giving head to his partner, it's treated as a pretty disposable sex act, one his woman can live without. The world's a big old phallus-worshiping sausage party, it seems.*
*This isn't supposed to reflect on Mike's answer because he such things- just something I wanted to get off of my chest.
I think whether or not it's a dealbreaker comes down to the person.
For me it would be a dealbreaker if a guy was grossed out by going down on me BUT it would also be a dealbreaker if he wouldn't let me go down on him. Call me crazy but I enjoy it.
I'm def on the whole 'wtf you mean use a condom it's her fiance' bandwagon though. I like to think that if you're commiting to spending your life with someone then you really should be past worrying about catching STDs off them.
I hear ya girl I was with a guy who was so big for me it actually hurt! he needs to know that the whole damned thing doesn't have to be in your mouth all at once for it to be something nice. And he seems to be acting it's not a privelege for it to happen but more like his damned right to have it and wants it alot. He should be happy you are willing to do this for him just as you should be happy when he treats you to oral.
And it's totally ok if you can't go for long bouts at a time while giving him oral. if you explain that after awhile it just simply hurts your jaw and when you are hurting you can't focus on the good stuff he should understand that you need breathers. my guy understands and knows that with time it'll get better. It's just like anything else the more you do it eventually the longer and better you can do it. I'm not saying you have to do it everyday or anything like that but just know with time there will be less breaks more lovin.
As for the bad taste I've heard if a guy eats more sweets he tastes better and more meat/protien makes them taste more bitter but I'm not sure how true that is. And if the bad taste is on his skin have him clean up for sure! Some guys won't clean up after a morning pleasure they did and so that gets to sit there until he either cleans up or makes you put your mouth on it... that just made me want to barf. Tell him to keep clean or it ain't happening!
I looked up anal prolapse, I hate you swaim.
I looked up anal prolapse.I hate you Swaim.
Holy Sweet Mother of GOD!!!!!!!!! EEEWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Anal prolapse is grows.
I mean gross
He must have the nastiest junk ever. I've never known a woman who was that opposed to giving head, especially to their fiancee.
Maybe she should try flavored condoms?
Thats a great option. :) One of the best. I want to clarify something, I am not anti oral sex( I am merely looking at this from the perspective of being healthy ) . But I can sympathize with her, because no it doesn't taste pleasant .
omg i goggled the anal prolapse that was soooooooooooooo nasty... and oreo cream?? lol ha!
You can talk freely and openly about fellatio and semen but you have to use a childish euphemism for cum?
I don't HAVE to. It's my hobby.
Are "semen" and "cum" not the same thing anymore?
My ex-husband also hurt my jaw a lot, largely because he could not understand that the act was "GIVING a blowjob", not "f*ing your head". Making him lay on his back and making it clear his hands were welcome anywhere but my head and neck helped a lot. Also made it easier to get out of the way of the gusher. That stuff was so incredibly nasty-tasting.
Oh my, I'm so sorry you had to go through that (the rough blow jobs you describe).
I'm pro-porn, but sometimes I think this whole modern "porn-culture" has done more harm to female-male relations than we'll ever know.
When I was eleven, I went swimming in the ocean and accidently swallowed some of it. That is what "oreo creme" tastes like! I hate to hurt anyone's feelings, but I gag when the guy doesn't warn me and the thundercat explodes. Then the poor guy has to watch me getting sick.
i only like giving guys i like blow jobs. a infatuation is now turning into "no strings attached" and i no longer feel the same way about him. when i give head now i really don't like it nor want to. how can i just tell him i don't wanna because you now suck, hence i won't suck.
There are flavoured gels (subtly called "Good Head Gel") that not only make it taste better for the woman going down but also feel more intense for the man. What does this mean? Well, for one, if taste is your big complaint than this will improve it. Secondly, if your jaw hurts cause he is large and the repetitive motion is causing an ache, he may finish faster and not require so much work on your behalf because the gels make everything more sensitive (or so I've been told by the guys I've tried it with.
Also, consider trying different positions for oral sex. Laying between his legs on your stomach while he relaxes on his back. Laying on your bed with your head on the edge of the bed while he stands. Just keep experimenting until you find something that works for you. But like Swaim said, you deserve to get yours too. If going down on the man you love stills feels like a chore, make sure you get the same treatment...doesn't have to be oral. Ask for some sexual act you rarely get but thoroughly enjoy.
New to this site, thus the late comment. Just have to say...the pleasure of giving head depends on the guy. The ex-hubby...I hated giving him head. He was small, tasted nasty, poorly groomed, and as someone said above got confused about the difference between fucking my tonsils and receiving a blow job. Another ex however...Oh EM GEE---loved giving him a BJ! He acted as though he completely enjoyed it, smelled good, tasted good, perfect size, nicely groomed. I'd do him 24/7 because giving him BJ's was soooo good (for me).