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So today, I had coffee with this guy I've been interested in. Before I left, he said he wanted to "hang out" again, and we made plans to go to a show on campus together. How do I tell if this is a legit date, or if he's just being really friendly?

That sounds promising date-wise. He made specific plans that same day. It wasn't like you suggested the show and he went, "Yeah, maybe. I'll call you." It's an event at night where there will be booze that may continue into the wee hours of the morning. You're not just meeting again for coffee. A concert seems like a logical first date after meeting for coffee.

Sure, he might just think you're a cool person to do stuff with. But, so far, all signs point to a date. Other signs:

-- If he suggests getting dinner before the show, or drinks after, it's definitely a date.

-- If he offers to meet you at your dorm so you can go to the show together, it's a date. If he's meeting you there, that could also mean its a date. But he will definitely set a meeting time and place. If it's "I'll see you there around 9 or 10-ish," and he shows up at 10:30, he's probably not interested in dating.

-- If he buys the tickets, it's definitely a date. If he gets you a drink, it's a date.

-- If he moves in for a kiss while the band segues into something from the new album, it's definitely a date.
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5 Comments

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Thanks for this! I don't know what's a date anymore with guys who just want to "hang out" and who are "cool" when you offer to split the bill or pay for your own ticket (I always offer to pay to be polite, most guys accept it right away).Nobody asks you out on a simple date anymore.

silkysly

I wouldn’t offer to pay, unless he asks. I think it changes the playing field & set a different tone.

Nick Nadel

Yeah, I would agree. Who should pay on dates is a matter of debate here. But he should pay on the first date. If he doesn't offer, that's a good sign he's not interested in being more than friends.

user-pic

I think sometimes in "guy speak" hanging out means a date. I'd prefer hearing something like "I'd love to see you again" so it's a little more romantic. I do agree with CG, that men should "take care of things" a little to define it as a date. To add to that, if a man is on his best behavior, generally it's a date.

user-pic

why's so important to label things? whataver, be happy that you're gunna see him again! yay!

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