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So, Wise Ass, why can't guys just be honest with how they feel? If a guy says he'll call tomorrow and doesn't, why didn't he just say that he wasn't interested? I mean, I'm a gay guy and I'm even baffled by it!

Because it's easier to lie to your face and avoid an awkward situation than to tell you the truth.

We all do it, don't we? Haven't you ever told someone, "Let's have lunch," when you had no intention of having lunch with them, ever? I'm not saying it's right, but we all do it. Humans naturally avoid confrontation. Also, some people worry about hurting others' feelings. They know that not everyone can handle the truth. So, while it's annoying and confusing, sometimes the lie comes from a good place.

Have you considered the possibility that he was interested and intended to call but got sidetracked and/or forgot? It's a flimsy excuse, I agree, but you shouldn't always assume that the guy was lying. Maybe he lost his cell phone or got hit by a taxi. If you're really interested in him and you want the truth, why not call him?

Thanks for the question.

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6 Comments

Brooke

We all say we prefer upfront honesty over empty promises, but do we really? If you're not very thick-skinned by nature, being told to your face that someone's not interested in you could be devastating. But if someone tells you they'll call and they don't, then you can be pretty certain they're not interested in you. That was you know and your feelings are space.

Also, it's really difficult to tell someone to their face that you don't want to spend time with them/go out with them anymore. Saying that can make the situation incredibly awkward. I recently went out with a guy who I'd exchanged numbers with the week before, thinking he was someone else. When we met up, he was clearly not who I thought I was going to go out with - in fact, I didn't remember him at all! (We exchanged numbers at a bar, so alcohol was involved at the time. I later recalled meeting him the previous weekend.)

Anywho, I could've been honest with him and told him I thought he was someone else and as a result, I'd like to end the date, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Plus, it wasn't just the two of us; his friends were there too. (It was a concert.) So I had a friend call me and I made an excuse about having an emergency to tend to and I left. He asked if I wanted to hang out some other time and I said yes, but I never responded back to his texts.

I didn't mean anything by it, it was just an incredibly awkward situation that I didn't want to make even more awkward.

Brooke

**That way you know and your feelings are spared.

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I think that is the problem. Whatever happened to saying what is on our mind? The importance is how tactful you can be. Despite the higher probability of feelings getting hurt, I think knowing the truth still trumps lying.

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I would rather hear the truth than be told some lie... One guy once told me that he wasnt ready for a relationship because he still had trust issues from his last girlfriend. Sure. ok. The most I got out of that was that he must have thought i was dumb enough to believe that BS

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You know, I don't even doubt that that could have been the case. There are plenty of guys for whom getting serious with someone just isn't an option at some point or another. That doesn't mean though that said guy isn't perfectly willing to hook up with you though, given a shot.

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The question should be why do PEOPLE lie not just men women do lie to and i catch them on this a lot. A lot of times when a women ask me a question and i know the answer gonna comes out bad i always ask her you want the truth or the lie because the answer i am about to tell you you might not gonna like. So i figure as long as tell her this she can't bitch at me about lieing about anything to her since i already gave her a option and told her the reason why i gave her the option to.

So ladies next time a guy ask you a question and your afraid you might hurt his feelings ask him if he wants the truth or a lie only if it's gonna be bad and if he says the truth and he gets upset at it then fuck him find someone else i do it because i don't like lieing and if i have to lie it's gonna be your option on that one and not my saying..

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