Great set-up! Anyone who quotes Groucho Marx at the beginning of her question is bound to get noticed. Well done.
If you hadn't said "aside from a couple of exceptions," my answer might be different. I might tell you that yes, you are destined to fail until you overcome this psychological obstacle that makes you want to reject guys the moment you know they like you. I would tell you that you live for the chase, and the prize has little meaning to you. But I'm not sure that's the case here, at least not all the time.
Yes, you might live for the chase somewhat, but because there have been times that you didn't do this, I'm more inclined to think that this is simply your way of weeding out guys you don't really like that much in the first place. If a guy came along who totally rocked your world and was completely into you, I can't see you rejecting him. I don't know you, of course, but I do know that there aren't many women on this planet who will reject a man they truly like simply because he's too into them.
You say instinct is all you have, and in this case, I think your instincts are doing their job. If you're asking me if you should be less picky, I say no. Trust your instincts.
Thanks for the question.
First of all, your problem is that you meet these guys at Clubs. That very well may be the reason you dont like them, most guys at clubs are losers looking to prey on the skanky women who attends them.
Go to a library, bookclub, dog park, or wherever social and light to hang out and let a good guy approach you instead. (avoid churches).
Trust your instinct, sniff (in theory) a guy out, watch the way he carries himself or walk, and judge for instincts. It may be right, or IT IS right.
****I once guy hit on me, and I smelt MARRIED whenever he did his creepy walk around me. Then I googled his ass and KABAM! He was engaged. Love my animal instinct.
Good luck.
She didn't mean that kind of club, Linda. Think more general.
Well, I use to be the same with women, meaning I used to believe any woman who had an interest in me was a deeply flawed human being, the proof being that she was interested in me.
I got over it.
I used to be like that too (okay.. still am, kinda), but it wasn't really for the same reasons. I didn't think something was wrong with them if they liked me but.. (ad this took me a really long time to realize. I used to be convinced something was wrong with me) I guess when I knew they liked me and the possibility of us dating became real, I realized that I just liked the IDEA of them, not their actual person, and so I just couldn't bring myself to date them. Yes I have high standards, and no I'm not able to start relationships with people I don't already have real feelings for.
I don't know. I'm still working on it. But I do have faith that one day a guy will come along and I'll fall in love with his actual self, and not freak out when he likes me back.
(hopefully soon)
Definitely trust your instincts; they're usually right. You may be feeling like your instincts are "dooming you to fail" at times, but I say they're just more discriminating than other people's. Nothing wrong with a little selectivity.