Absolutely.
Why shouldn't she? This is 2011, not 1957. Women are liberated: they have power, more opportunities, careers, positions of influence, sexual freedom. Why shouldn't they go after what they want in life, including romance? Why should they have to sit by the phone and wait to be asked out?
I always say that life is short and you should go after what you want with a vengeance. You've no doubt heard the expression carpe diem, or seize the day. The same applies to romance: seize the guy (carpe dude-em). If you're interested, hell yes, ask him out. Most guys love it. We get tired of having to be the aggressor and risk-taker all the time, so we're thrilled when a woman shows interest in us first.
Be aware, however, that some guys are hopelessly old-fashioned and might be turned off by a confident, proactive woman. That's a chance that I think is worth taking. If a guy is that prehistoric/sexist, you probably don't want to date him anyway.
Thanks for the question.
i always debate with myself too. but i guess if u really like the guys, its worth a try! :) GL!
Sure, let him know you’re interested. It’s ok for a woman to man the first move, but not take control over the whole thing. You have to let the guy be the guy.
Depends on the guy. If he is used to women fawning all over him - no...
True dat. Then he'll just get even more pleased with himself and blah blah blah.
yeah it's in direct contrast to your blog post about let the guy be the guy, but i see what you are saying on both counts. in fact i've been tossing this very dilemma today and have felt that if signs from the universe exist, all have been pointing that the call of action lies with me right now. and i honestly didnt even almost want to come to this site today because i was content wallowing in myself lol even my horrorscope said "dont worry about being refused, today your task is to present yourself in front of the object of your affections" and then i come here lol ours is not a first ask situation though, so that's why i'm sort of wallowing. seize the day. yep. i KNOW already. lol
I don't know which blog post you mean. "Let guys be guys" doesn't really sound like something I would say, but maybe I did and forgot.
hm thought i saw something like that come through email the other day, the premise was if he wants to talk/date/test etc he will find a way. have had a few late nights tho so maybe it was a neuro blip on my part, my apologies.
Men say they want a woman to make the first move and when it happens, they actually rudely turn the girl down. I know several girls who ask men out and it never works out. Men like to chase, not the other way around. And whats happen to being man by the way, why is that women have to make the move now? Cant they at least be man enough to ask a women out? Passive aggressiveness will not work, most men i see now want the women to make the first move...LIKE REALLY? I never ask guys out and works perfectly well. If I eye a guy and let him know Im interested and he doesnt come over, its done. So many of them think I actually should approach them, losers. Women who do chase these guys...usually end up broken hearted. Ladies, do not approach men, men say they want you to make the first move, but thats not because its hot, its because theyre losers.
I have to agree with this. It may be 2011, but our genitals will always be stuck in 1950.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with some of this. With the exception of one friend who no guy would ever turn down (and no guy ever has), most of my friends who have done the asking have gotten rejected, or have found out, a few months into the relationship, that the guy isn't that into them. It never ends well. The only foolproof way to gauge if the guy is interested in you is if he asks you out.
You say most of your friends got rejected. How many times each? Did they make a habit of it and practice extensively, or did they just get shot down once and give up? It's a skill. It takes effort and understanding, like any other.
If you are an adult with less experience at asking people out than an average 15-year-old boy, expect to strike out a whoooole lot until you learn what you're doing. Not to mention that there's a pretty good chance of failure even if you do know. Welcome to our world, ladies.
And being asked out somehow guarantees that he *is* that into you? Then how come we see all those questions here about why he stopped calling after he got laid, or why the relationship's gone cold after a while? And cripes, if you think being asked out makes someone willing to say yes to people they're not interested in, that's kind of depressing. Dunno about you, but I'm certainly not willing to date someone I find unappealing. Being asked out is definitely a bonus, because rejection sucks and confidence is sexy, but it's not going to totally change my mind.