Nope. Not mean at all.
Who do you trust to make the right decision about when to start sleeping with a guy, your own feelings or his wiener? (Hint: It's not the latter. Wieners aren't that bright and they make terrible decisions.)
Guys get aroused when making out. It's involuntary, and doesn't necessarily mean he wants sex right then and there (although I'm sure he wouldn't turn you down if you offered). Just because he gets hard doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. His boner is not your obligation any more than you are obligated to check out an apartment complex just because there's a clown with balloons in front of it waving and shouting at passing cars.
Sleep with him if and when you are ready, and only when you are ready. Until you do, take his erection as a sign that he's attracted to you and likes kissing you, but not a call to action. Building anticipation is a good thing; he can wait until the big day comes. Ungratified boners build character.
Besides, he can go home and rub it out, that is, if he makes it that far. Sometimes a guy has to pull off the road and take care of business. Or so I've heard. (Cough). What, you'd rather we crash our car and die?
He and Mr. Happy will get their reward. They can wait until you're ready. There's nothing mean about that.
If I felt obligated to provide a happy ending every time my husband got hard I'd have carpal tunnel, lockjaw, and wouldn't be able to walk. If he needs release that badly, he'll take matters into his own hands.
muahahahaha... I hear ya!
I dated a woman who thought that the only way a man could get rid of an erection was through ejaculation. Gee, I wonder who told her that?
I think I'll try tying balloons to my next one, and have it wave and shout at cars.
Great answer, although the clown imagery disturbs me. Also, from this moment on, when I see a car pulled over on the side of the road with a guy in it, I will no longer glance over to see what's going on. All this time I thought all those guys were just having spirited cell phone discussions.
spirited cell phone conversations = hahahahaha
HA! Well, for heaven's sake! Yes, pull off the road if necessary. You don't want to be taking care of business while driving. That's just not safe! AHA HA HA! :-D
Great advice, as always. Especially the part about pulling over before rubbing one out in your car. Of course, just make sure that your sunroof isn't open.
Way to be prepared with the right link for the right time!
I wonder who the perv was who filmed it. (Was it you? Hey, it's okay- I'm the perv who just watched it)
Who says a little anticipation isn't a good thing? Getting everything you want all the time takes something away from the enjoyment. A little teasing here and there will ramp up the sexual tension, and hopefully make for a more passionate first time.
Not at all mean! Don't do anything that you don't feel 100% ready for. The anticipation will make anything that does happen so much more amazing for the both of you..
Does it scare anyone else a little that she needed to ask this?
No. Everybody's different.
Your advice was great and I am fully aware that everyone is different.I have an open mind about most questions but this one does not sit well with me. To feel so bad you are guilty about it? and you two have not done ANYTHING sexual yet? You do not owe a man any type of sexual contact EVER.I mean I understand feeling guilty if it is your boyfriend and you are tired, too lazy or whatever. I dont really know what I am trying to explain lol but woman do not owe men anything esp sexually ... Im never at a loss for words to explain myself but here I am ... I guess it just bothers me knowing young woman feel this way which means some of them are "helping" horny guys when they are not ready ..I dunno it just struck a nerve I guess.
I totally get what you're saying, Alicia, and you said it quite well.
This question could have come from me when I was much younger. I think she is just naive or was given the blueballs story like I was early on in my sexual adventures. She sounds like an incredibly giving person who is caught between a rock and a hard place (no pun intended). I think her heart wants to give him what she perceives he wants, but her mind is saying it's not time yet - thus the guilt.
I do have to say that I'm impressed that he's not pressuring her to give him a "happy ending", if that is indeed the case. Sounds like a very respectful relationship. QA, I wish you all the best!
wow this was great advice! thanks! i always felt bad wen i didnt give my guy a happy ending when we were (intensly) making out, but this really helped. way to go cary! woo
Thanks for the advice! I'm a little relieved to know I'm not the only one who's ever felt that guilt, too! Thanks for the reassurance, Wise-Ass. (And "Ungratified boners build character" is one for the books!)
Thank you so much cary! and all of the other commenters, it helped me alot.
Cary, you put the "wise" in wise-ass. Excellent answer.