It's not you he doesn't trust, it is himself. He is scared and guilty and feeling like he can turn into a total monster at any second, so of course he cannot trust himself around you. If he didn't trust you, he'd not have told you at all.
The fact that he could tell you and is trying to control the level of intensity of your relationship out of self awareness tells me that he is starting to heal. His shrink must be pretty good.
If you can, encourage him to talk it out to you as well as to his shrink. Killing anyone is not easy, but shooting a kid is a terrible burden to carry. What he did is going to be weighing on his soul hard, and he needs to lighten the load.
PTSD has so many symptoms and effects that it is hard to give any other advice about, beyond the generic let him know you love and trust him, and encourage him to keep seeing the shrink. In time it will be controlled and the symptoms will subside, though the nightmares never go away completely.
One important thing though. If you sleep with him and he starts having a nightmare, get out of bed quickly then wake him up by calling his name. Don't try to wake him up from within arms reach.
Healing takes time. Sometimes a long time.
I know what it's like to have ptsd.
It is horrible.
It does get better, with a lot of help, patience, and time.
I know a lot of people (men, actually) who are war veterans. Some of them, even if they didn't go through something as horrible as killing someone, have gone back home with emotional issues and unexplainable change of behavior. The older ones are in disability status. Their current situation adds up to the PTSD, unfortunately.
P.S.
Thanks for answering this one, MM. This is my friend Jenn's question.
This really solved my problem, thank you!
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