Why don't we put these "girls" who like dicks in a category all by themselves? I'm just not one of those girls; I can stand "bad boys" because I feel for most it's more of a persona than an actual personality. Which, I guess, it is. Anyway, I love nice guys. You can have confidence and still be a nice guy and they're plenty of guys like that out there.

Yep.

really? I like nice guys whom I can walk all over. Personally, bad boys have zero appeal to me since I don't like having to worry about being abused. The problem with a lot of nice guys though, is that their advance is just poorly planned out. The nice guy doesn't really care if the girl seems interested in him. He's just trying to force his way through with good will. It's difficult for a girl to completely shoot the guy down thus the nice guy is inevitably sent to the friend pile. I mean, I think it's the same for guys - how would you react if a girl that you didn't really pay attention to (attractive or not) told you that she had a crush on you? It would force you to make a very uncomfortable decision.

Also, I would never date a guy like my father because we are both very strong willed people and he is very controlling.

@ LifeAin't --- im in the --- "girls" who like dicks category .. just not the same kinda dicks LMAO !

Sorry MM, I'm gonna' have to disagree with you on this one. Not ALL girls are looking for a man who is like their father. I married a man the exact opposite of my dad and have never been happier. My father had such unobtainable expectations of his kids, that we were forever a failure in his eyes. I wanted a man who loved me for being me and feel very blessed to have found one.

And to 'nother guy, I don't think you have to be a dick to show confidence. Being a dick borders on being arrogant and while he might get the girl, he won't be able to keep her with a bad-ass attitude. Any girl who laps up the "I' don't need you" attutude is nothing more than desperate and I'm pretty sure you don't want desperation hanging on your arm.

Why try to be something you're not? Just have confidence in who YOU are. Believe me, that's the sexiest thing you can offer a girl.

LMAO I have a daddy, I ain't looking for a "daddy", no self respecting woman wants someone who resembles a family member as their lover. . That is truly awful, misogynistic advice you just gave.. Pat yourself on the back, you took a seemingly nice guy and probably just turned him into another dime a dozen douche...

I agree with the response but not because I have daddy issues. I have found that if a "nice guy" let's you down in some way it hurts far more than when a dick acts like a dick. You have higher expectations of nice guys, where as a dick you expect to be a dick, which makes it seem amazing if they happen to do something nice!

I personally love nice guys. All of the men I dated are nice guys, and I honestly can't stand the bad boys. My sister loves them, but I don't bother giving them the time of day. My philosophy is "Better alone than poorly accompanied" LOL!

That being said, I have lots of nice guys who are friends...one of whom recently confessed to "Always having had a crush on me". Now we live 900 miles apart, so of course having a relationship would be impossible. One of the issues might be that nice guys have a really hard time getting the courage to make a move. They are so busy being there and just supporting the girl that they never say that they are interested...until it's too late. Me and most of my girlfriends don't mind hitting on guys, but if there is no return on that we don't pursue the matter any farther than that. Get up the courage to make a move, and things may change :-)

that's... a weird answer. seems a bit freudist, honestly.

i'm going to agree with ptk here. cause girls are attracted to the confidence of the "dick", that's pretty much it. but acting like a jerk isn't the right way to go, and that's just false confidence as it is.

in my experience, one of the main differences between the bad boys and the nice guys is that the so-called bad boys are the usually the ones who are willing to take more risks. a lot of the nice guys i know that i can tell might be interested in me rarely make a move. i feel like a lot of them think that if they're my friend for a really long time then eventually it'll turn into more, but more often than not, i just put them in the friend zone because they have approached me as a friend. guys that approach me clearly for the purpose of being more than friends are more likely to get my attention in that way just because they're the ones sticking their neck out. i'm attracted to guys who think i'm worth it enough to pursue me. and they all seem like nice guys in the beginning. every guy seems to think they're a good guy, at least deep down. and a lot of us nice guys have a tendency to see the best in people even if that's not their most dominant trait.

I agree with the comments above. Most women are attracted to douche bags not just simply because they are douche bags, but because they are confident and willing to take the necessary steps to get the girl. I don't think a majority of the female population goes for the douche on purpose.The problem is, that more often then not, women have a difficult time discerning between someone who is cocky and someone who is just confident.

I've dated my fair share of douche bags and my share of nice guys. And it definitely hurts way more when the Nice Guy turns into the Douche Bag. I have higher expectations for the Nice Guy, I have higher hopes for the Nice Guy, and I am more likely to let my gaurd down with the Nice Guy. With the Nice Guy, you have less fears, less doubts,and generally worry less about them. It's completely different from dating an outright asshole. So when the Nice Guy does something stupid --like cheat, act like an asshole, or let you down --it's signficantly more dissapointing...and upsetting. You just don't expect that.

That said, difficulties arise in any relationship and people can be assholes while remaining good people. The Douche Bag never really wins in the end. The Douche can inflict pain without feeling any remose himself, while the Nice Guy (ultimately) knows the repracautions. And that's the difference I think. It takes a mature woman to like/love the Nice Guy. Games are overrated. You don't have to pretend to be a douche (or assume that she has "daddy issues). Just be a decent human being. What more can we really ask of you anyways?

It's not about being "a dick" it's about not being a doormat. I am a woman, and the *nice guy* syndrome to me is all about letting a woman walk all over you. I don't want to be with an asshole. I want a man who respects me but also earns respect himself. Letting someone treat you like a doormat is not a respect earning quality.

The problem is that the guys who always ask this question are self described "nice guys" and they just assume that the reason women reject them is because they are "nice." That is usually not the case. Every guy I know who think this is is problem is wrong. Usually it's actually that he is unattractive, boring, not funny, any number of other things. People tell him it's because he's too nice so they don't hurt his feelings. Being a nice guy isn't a bad thing. But when it is your only good quality they you aren't going to get far. You need more than one good quality to attract women. Nice+funny, nice+hot, nice+smart. Just nice = boring.

Sorry MM, I also have to disagree with you. My father is a manic depressive, hasn't paid taxes since the early 90's, and generally ruined my high school years. He makes no contribution to my college education, and I barely see him.

I'm dating a highly intellectual, musically gifted guy with a great sense of humor and big blue eyes. That's probably all my boyfriend and my father have in common: big blue eyes.

If I dated a man like my father, I would be unhappy for the rest of my life.

I have to disagree as well. I'm not looking for someone like my father, I am like my father in a lot of ways. But my father was a complete jerk when I was a kid, and only lately have we discovered how very much we have in common.
I can't stand jerks. I go for the nice guys, but the problem is that a lot of them either don't feel the same or they don't have any self-confidence. It's usually either one or the other. When I step up to the plate, the guy gets upset like I unmanned him or something.
It's a fine line to walk.

For the record, Mystery Man, I usually really like your advice. But like many of the other commenters, I just can't stand the whole "daddy issues" explanation of female behavior and sexuality. My dad is a wonderful man -- smart, strong-willed, and caring. But every man I've dated is just not like him. Like someone above said, I already have one dad, and I don't need another one to by my boyfriend.

What irks me so much about the "Daddy issues" theory is that it presumes that hetero relationships have some inherent power system where the man plays the father -- the strong provider. Some women seek this out, sure. But not every relationship is like this. I personally tend to be more dominant in most of my relationships (not like I have my guys whipped, but, like my father, I am strong-willed and confident). I really resent the idea that I am subconsciously looking for someone who will be a disciplinarian and put me in my place as the obedient "daughter."

MM, I have to wonder if your advice was somewhat sarcastic. Do you really believe that a true lover of women would act like a dick just to win one? It makes relationships seem like a big game, not a mutual partnership based on caring and respect. Sure, the game is a part of it, but a man who loves women aims to treat them with kindness, not with douchey displays of machismo. If you don't like women, why are you writing for this website?

The last thing I have to say is that, in my opinion, the reason why women don't like "nice guys" is that many of them are actually just clingy. There's a difference between ignoring/disrespecting a woman to prove your confidence and making sure to maintain your individuality and your life. I'm not attracted to guys who treat me like shit. I'm also not attracted to guys who send me four texts in a row and constantly expect me to talk to them. Have your own life, yes, but you don't need to be a dick about it. That's just not sexy.

MM, this is a really weird, creepy, sexist, and incredibly untrue answer. You make a terrible psychologist.

Why are you pretending to be an expert on women? You're clearly not. Women are not looking for a "daddy". That's just weird.

Women are attracted to "bad boys" because a lot of us imagine them to be like the bad boys we see in fiction, who are rarely actually "bad". They're always the antagonist, but noble at the same time. They have a hard-to-understand, Shakespearean angst that women find attractive. Then, when they find "the one", they change, and every woman wants to be the girl who's just THAT special.

Guys like this don't exist in real life. Real-life bad boys are just punks and/or d-bags. Most girls DO like nice guys.

And yes, it's true that a ton of girls are initially attracted to the "I don't need you" attitude, but any guy who uses that (especially artificially) to get girls is never going to land a lasting relationship, because he's being something he's not. I love how you are literally telling this guy to play mindgames and be dishonest to try to win a woman. Yup, that ought to turn out really well. Also, any girl who only wants guys she can't have is pitiful and isn't going to be in anything long-term either.

Major props to coley573, ptk, Vee, Joanna, Miss M, and Rosebud for making excellent points.

Terrible advice as usual.

Right yet wrong. I personally don't think I could ever like a guy who was a dick. I think rather than being a dick you should play hard to get. It's human nature to want what we can't have.

Some girls may have that "bad boy" complex thing, and I know one or two, but trust me, girls ADORE a nice guy. I love nice guys, and I would certainly date 100 nice guys before I would have date a dick. Nice guys do not finish last. I know incredibly nice guys who have armies of girls who like them, because they are so awesome. Don't fret, you're fine!

You give me headaches, MM. Being a dick doesn't show confidence, it shows you're BEING A DICK.

"Insightful". Yeah right.

I think the whole issue with "nice guys" is that most nice guys aren't assertive enough. My BF is a nice guy and, yeah, he definitely could use some coaching in the confidence department. Women like a man who exudes a strong exterior because a lot of us look for protectors. Nice guys (usually) don't seem like good protectors.

Personally, I have been in a couple of bad relationships and the worst guy for me was the most exciting one. But it was also the most damaging one. I have read many books and studied many people looking for Mr. Right. Here is what I have discovered. Mr. Bad Guy is fun at the beginning of the relationship because he is fun and charismatic. He is only interested in having fun. This is perfect in a healthy relationship because the beginning is all about having fun, forming that connection, and getting to know each other. Going out on a date or two with a good guy, he immediately talks about marriage and serious stuff and has no fun at all. He frightens me away. I don't want to jump into some serious and boring marriage. The bad guy is fun, he dances, he laughs, he takes you on trips, he is animated and exciting. The good guy is boring, sits at the table and has a boring conversation about politics or worse yet, marriage! Falling in love isn't supposed to be like a funeral. It is supposed to be a fun and exciting adventure. Also bad guys make it well known that they want you and are attractive. Personally I like those that do it with tact. While a good guy puts too much distance and is very withdrawn. He doesn't seem to appeal sexually at all. A girl loves to feel sexy. The key is to send the message tactfully and tastefully. The successful players have had much practice and are pretty good at this. Unfortunately you are not the only person he is using these tactics with. So, initially the girl is attracted to the bad guy because he is fun and sends the message that she is attractive. But girls don't really like the bad side of these guys, like that they are unfaithful, unable to commit, do drugs, drink too much, party too much or whatever. Girls want a good guy that is fun, confident and relaxed at the beginning of the relationship and as the relationship develops, he gradually gets serious, naturally. Unfortunately the bad guy never develops like this and usually the good guys aren't really doing the right things to attract the woman he wants. But we don't just want fun in the beginning. At least I don't. I want a guy that is all of the good things about a good guy but fun throughout life. We go out alone on occasion, we go camping, go hiking, go kayaking, love life every way that we can, together as best friends, and yet still be exciting in the bedroom as well.

Girls like to have sex with bad boys but they want to marry a good one. A girl who will put up with dick-ish behavior for longer than it takes to get off has no self-esteem or self-respect and you don't want to date a girl like that anyway. You keep being you, don't take MM's advice and be a dick.

My husband is NOT a bad boy - he's a great husband and father and he has my eternal love and loyalty. He's also really hot in bed because he cares about my pleasure more than his own. When girls turn into women, most of them figure out that's what's important in the bedroom.

I think some girls might have daddy issues, but I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not they like bad boys. My husband isn't anything like my dad, BTW.

This is a pretty interesting topic, especially for the aforementioned 'nice guys'. When it's in your nature to care for and want to do stuff for people, it's really hard to work against that instinct just to get some head. I like being a nice guy, and I know some decent women out there just waiting to fall in love with a guy like me (hey, I didn't say modest lol).

But at the same time, I'm aware of the societal stigma attached to it: people think nice guys are doormats. This is why I think MM was trying to advocate the whole "be a dick first, nice later" thing; you have to PROVE you have some balls before you go too far with the favors, the gifts, and the gestures. That's unfortunately the trap society has conditioned for us.