Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Funny Guy

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

The Superbowl's coming up and I'm attending my friend's party; I know nothing about the sport, but I'd hate to decline What is proper sport watching etiquette when you're with a bunch of guys? I want to learn, but not be annoying.

Super Bowl etiquette follows the same protocol as a party for the Season Finale of the Bachelor, or an Oscar party.

You should wear a tuxedo, take your shoes off upon entrance and always be mindful that the main attraction is the broadcast: not you. That means curtail the constant chatting, make sure conversations you start are pertinent and above all make sure you're perm is never blocking the TV screen.

Your lack of knowledge about football can actually work wonders for you. Guys like "showing you the ropes." It's the type of verbal foreplay that makes men feel manly and also helps perpetuate age-old sexism and gender stereotypes. As you can see: a win-win. Having said that, there is a basic understanding of the game that you should have before you set foot into the party. No one is expecting you to be Mike Ditka, for one your mustache isn't grey, but don't be the dingdong dressed in a NY Knicks Jersey asking: What inning of the football program are we currently watching?

The objective of American football or Gridiron is as follows: "to score points by advancing the ball into the opposing team's end zone. The ball can be advanced by running with it or throwing it to a teammate. Points can be scored by carrying the ball over the opponent's goal line, catching a pass thrown over that goal line, kicking the ball through the opponent's goal posts or tackling an opposing ball carrier in his own end zone."

Specifically, this Super Bowl is a match up between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers. If you are going there primarily to flirt, try to find out what team your man is rooting for and wear that team's colors. Do a little research on key players, the quarterback, wide receiver, head coach etc. Slip your knowledge into casual conversation: Tim, can I trouble you to get off your ass and Read Shovel Pass me a carrot?

Lastly, before leaving for the night it is typical to violently tackle your host to the ground and do a touch down dance on his chest while screaming: "That's what's up, Bitch. That's how it's done, Son."

Have fun and win one for the Gipper.

Talk 3
Love it? Hate it? 8
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

3 Comments

user-pic

Funny Guy, you really are funny. I don't know what a Red Shovel Pass is, but it made me laugh. I think he's right. Do a little research and go with the flow of the party. Basically, the Super Bowl is a great excuse for a get together and if you learn a little about football all the better.

user-pic

Great answer, and I just noticed you stopped tagging your answers with your name.

No

This was amazing.

I would definitely ask occasional questions if you're really lost, as opposed to cheering/yelling when you don't actually know what's going on. I used to watch college games with a girl who would do this as a way of trying to convince a crush that she knew what was going on. We all could tell she was faking and it was very VERY annoying.

And tread lightly if the guy you're interested in's team is losing.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 96 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 58 entries are tagged with
  6. 215 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 865 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 151 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 239 entries are tagged with
  23. 501 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with