Girl, listen to the Wise Ass; he's right on here. Once upon a time I hooked up with a friend on whom I'd had a crush for quite some time. I wanted more, he didn't. One day I told him what I wanted and his uncomfortable silence told me all that I needed to know about any potential for a "relationship." I drove away that morning and never looked back, and it was the best thing I could have done for my self-esteem.

Do yourself a favor and find someone who wants to be with you outside of the bedroom too. You deserve it.

I really is hard to get a guy to backtrack. See it's different when you're a girl, we have no problem just holding out, but for guys, once they get what they want, they just loose interest, like sex for instance. I mean maybe if you held out the first night or even made him work for it the first night, with some slight teasing, no mind games, just could of done some lip action instead and really build it up to the sex, especially if both parties were not sober....

Ok, Wise Ass...I'm in the same situation except that we have gone out on a few dates. What does that make me a booty call? We talk at least 2-3x a day everyday and txt. He has been my FWB for about 4months, and he tells me that we are basically in a relationship we just don't have the luxury of showing it off. Due to the fact, that his wife is still trying to get back with him and so is my ex-boyfriend. So how can I make him commit?

If he always avoids your questions about a relationship, I think you've already got your answer. He's interested in having sex with you, and that's all. If you want more than that, you should stop answering his calls and look elsewhere. Learn from this and set some new rules for yourself and who you spend your time with next time around.

I've also been in this situation. But the line I like to refer to when I think about it is "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" Not that I'm referring to myself or any other woman as a cow... I've just used that line to rationalize my fantasies of ever dating my FWB no matter how much I liked him. It's natural to succumb to your physical needs, but for your sake, just remember that is ALL it is. Physical need fulfillment.
There IS a chance however of having said man fall for you, but even if there was, it wouldn't be because the woman is secretly plotting how to make him fall in love with her. Best thing you can do here is accept the fact that he is only your FWB and not interested in anything more. If he ends up wanting to have a relationship with you then that's just a bonus right? :)

Oh and while you're at it, you might as well take this as a +1 for your ego, if this guy thinks you're hot enough to bump uglies, there are definitely men out there who will think you're hot enough not to share you with anyone else. If you're offering this guy a good lay and the opportunity to be something more than that..then honey, it's his loss. Who doesn't want a girlfriend who's amazing enough in the sack that he has to keep calling for more? :)

If you give a man an elk, and put it on his door step, he will never value it the same, as if he were to hunt it himself. Men are all about the chase. Weild your control woman! Men will take you for granted and walk all over you, if you let them. Him calling you over in the middle of the night, and you going over there, is reassuring him that he has total control, and there is nothing to work at. He gets it all, whenever he wants it. My advice to you is stop answering the phone late at night. And change the routine, so he will never take you for granted. And if he disappears, than he isn't worth your time anyway sweetie! Work on yourself and then you will attract men that will value you!

what if you treated him like the booty call? came over, no small talk, a good boink, and leave without saying a word? not even a good bye? he'll feel used the way you do. and then never speak to him again. don't waste your time.

If it is just a booty call how come a guy would stay 1/2 the day and just talk or send you text messages right after he sees you telling you that you look good?

Sorry but you did it backwards ! He is already getting what he wants wit you and thats Sex, and if he wanted a relationship or to be commited, you would already know that. Its hard to unring the bell. In his mind, you are not Girlfriend material but a booty call and the fact that you were way okay with it and allowed it.. is already in his mind.

Tough love, Cary, but well said. Nothing more needs to be written...I'm sorry, lady, but I don't see much of a future...

Ree, you are hilarious. It seems to me that you do not know the first thing about what guys are looking for. We are very capable of separating our emotions from physical intimacy and for good reason. Girls like you or the poster don't realize (but soon will) that your looks will fade as you grow older and then you will have nothing to offer anymore. Once a girl shows her promiscuity, the word gets around and guys will all use her as she ought to be used. We have no problem booty calling girls like Ree or the poster until we happen to find an amazing girl who is worthy of investing our emotions into. Note that she does not need to be a virgin and personally, it makes no difference to me whatsoever.

This guy seems to have his mind on track. You need to figure out which category of girl you want to be and then continue with your life. If you continue the way you are, you will wake up when you're 30 and wonder why you're not wanted for a booty call or for a relationship. Alternatively, you can choose to continue along this path and then snag a loser and make his life hell. Good luck either way.

FWB? or is it something more?? He sends me a "good morning" text every morning and most nights I get a "good night" text as well... we talk / chat via text almost every day, for most of the day... I see him about once a week (and the "benefits" really only happen maybe once or twice a month... but oh they are GOOD benefits! LOL) we've both got young daughters, I have mine full time - he's got his daughter every other week... but when I'm at his place, and we don't have our daughters, he's very affectionate. We cuddle on the couch while watching tv... and when we're in bed, (after the benefits!) while sleeping, the entire time he's got some part of his body touching me.. even if it's just a foot touching my foot... (and it's a BIG bed, so it's not like he HAS to be touching me)

We've been seeing each other for about 4 months now... the reason I'm confused if it's FWB or something more, is because he hasn't mentioned me to any of his friends (or his family), his daughter doesn't know that he and I are seeing each other - she just knows me as the mom of her friend (my daughter) and when we are out in public, it's like we're just too buddies hanging out.

In his defense, he's been seriously hurt in the past by the last two women he's gotten serious with... his ex-wife, for one... and another that he got close to hurt him as well... so he's super cautious! He guards himself carefully...

what do you think??

I HAVE A BOOTY CALL. WE'VE BEEN SEEING ONE ANOTHER FOR 8 MONTHS. I'M CONFUSED BECAUSE WE BOTH DECIDED WE DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW, ALTHOUGH WE CARE ABOUT ONE ANOTHER. HE GETS JEALOUS ANYTIME HE THINKS I'M GOING TO GET ANOTHER MAN. WE SOMETIMES HAVE ARGUMENTS AND WHEN I TELL HIM I'M GOING TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE TRIES TO MAKE AMMENDS WITH ME. HE COOKED ME DINNER AND BROUGHT IT TO ME WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN RESTING FOR HIS NIGHT JOB. WHEN WE DO GET TOGETHER, HE SPENDS THE WHOLE WEEKEND WITH ME AND DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE SOMETIMES. I ASKED HIM IF HE COULD LOVE ME ON ONE OCCAISION, AND HE REPLIED YES, HE COULD. HE TELLS ME HE MISSES ME FROM TIME TO TIME. I RECENTLY WENT ON A TRIP AND HE GOT UPSET WITH ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T CALL HIM WHEN I GOT BACK IN TOWN. HE ADMITTED THAT HE CARES ABOUT ME AND IN THE SAME BREATH, HE TOLD ME IF I WANTED SOMETHING SERIOUS THAT I WOULD HAVE TO WAIT FOR THAT. I TOLD HIM I WASN'T READY FOR SOMETHING SERIOUS AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE BRINGING THAT UP. HE TREATS ME AS IF I'M HIS WOMAN AND DOESN'T WANT ME TO MESS WITH ANY OTHER GUYS, BUT HE CLAIMS HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW. WHY THE MIXED MESSAGES? CAN SOMEONE HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT?LOL..........

Time and only time will tell for every situation here. Everyone is different and no one knows what the other person is thinking/feeling until it comes out, time will tell just wait :)

I lost my virginity to this guy. We were really good friends before.
It wasn't sexual at all, then all of a sudden it was. We're both pretty promiscuous. In the beginning it was friends having fun. We were eachother's booty call. Then about 9 months later he got a girl friend. He has never been the relationship type. No one saw it coming. We stopped talking.
Then, on my birthday, while they were still dating he asked if he could come see me. We were both really drunk and hooked up. We didn't talk again.
Then a month later, we talked and i asked him why he cheated on his girl friend for a one night thing? and he said he couldn't find any other legitimate reason to see me. it was very weird. time goes on, we start hooking up again. He starts complimenting me and being conscious of my needs.
Then, he hooks up with my best friend. Did i overreact when i didn't talk to my best friend for 3 weeks? I got over it. He called me and asked me if wante to come over and spend the night. He's never asked me to stay over...
I said no, maybe some other time and hung up. Then he came over to my house a while later, wanting to stay the night. We had sex, then got into a huge fight. We have NEVER fought before, I screamed at him for my best friend and for how he treats me. He walked out.

I'll see him at friends houses are parties and he follows me around like a puppy without actually talking to me. He'll walk directly in front of me without looking at me or flirt with a girl i'm talking to without acknowledging my presence. But then he follows me outside and tells me i have no reason to be mad, i blow him off and laugh at him. The rest of the night he hangs on me. After that night, my best friend (the one he hooked up with) told me he came up to her when he was really drunk and told her he didn't know what to do with me. She said he was begging her for adive. Almost like we were dating and in a fight.
Then a few nights later, i see him at another party. He follows me around again, without acknowledging me. Then he comes up to me and flirts with me when i'm giving other guys attention. Then he takes me away from everyone in a secluded corner and stares deeply into my eyes and asks me if i'm okay, what' wrong. i kept saying i was great, i was fine, why did he keep asking? he just kept repeating himself. finally, i asked why he was so concerned. he completely changed the subject. asked me to help him find his shoes? but still had that glassy starry-eyed look in his eyes.

i left without sayng goodbye. he then texts me wanting my friend and me to ditch the guy we were with and go hang out with him and his friend. it was late, and we had to go home, but we told them they could come over for a bit.
they said yes, then no. then asked if they could stay later. we were in bed so i said no and that we would hang out soon, some othe time.

didn't talk to him for a week after that. i got drunk at a party and texted him and asked him where he was. he said he was going to the party. then changed his mind and didn't want to. he didn't have anywhere to go so he came over to our friends house where some of our friends stayed the night. we hooked up and slept next to eachother. he was gone at 7 in the morning.
the whole night he was attentive and did things to make me laugh.

am i making these signs up in my head? does he have feelings for me?
my friends opinions are completely biased.

only there's the problem of him going to college in a month.
but i know this is not going anywhere. i just want to know if he feels for me the way i feel for him or if i'm looking for something that's honestly not there.