He really wants you to be his fallback between relationships. Or so it appears.
Let's assess the situation: he flirts with you until someone else catches his eye, then he's MIA until that relationship sours, then he comes back like a dog that ran away but couldn't find a decent meal anywhere else. If he really wanted you, why not get into a relationship with you? Sounds to me like you're a time-killer between serious girlfriends. Has he ever hinted at any interest in a real relationship with you?
I suppose it's possible that he was into you when this other chica came along and swept him off his feet, but I find that hard to believe. I think if he really wanted you, he would have pursued a relationship with you, not her. My hunch is that you are always going to be second choice with this guy, a fallback during lean times, but never the main attraction.
Don't settle for that, unless of course you don't care about a relationship with this guy. If you enjoy the flirting/texting/whatever and aren't taking it seriously, good, because neither is he. Knock yourself out. But if you're looking for more, drop kick this guy.
my ex got into a relationship like 2 seconds after we broke up, with this girl he had always flirted with. clearly, he is on the rebound and looking for the easiest target. dont let him fool you
I see this 2 ways. I agree that it's unlikely he wants a real relationship with the question asker. BUT, it also seems like he's a good guy, in a sense. When he is in a real relationship, he doesn't continue to flirt/text with her. So, he seems to be a 1 woman kind of man. If I were her, I'd like to think that if we ever talked about and got into a real relationship, he would remain faithful. Don't get me wrong. I'm not completely naive. I do think she's just a Plan B.
idk...i was in almost the exact same situation. honey you might not be the fallback girl, maybe SHE was. one of my very best friendsstarted flirting with me a little and then over time he stared to flirt with me a lot. i was never interested in dating him, but god love him, he kept trying. then he went back to school and when i saw him a few months later he had a new girlfiend. he suddenly became unusually sour and a little rude to me. it was so out of character, we've been friends for years. they dated for over six months. he always said she was great but he didnt love her. we never met her and he only occasionally brought her up in passing. anyway, after they broke up he picked right up where he left off with me, shameless flirting. so i basically asked him what the deal was and he said that he has feelings for me and was waiting for me to reciprocate. apparently the girlfriend made it very clear that she liked him, and i hadnt made anything clear so he went with the sure thing. he said one blink from me and he would have been out the door.
Well guys are not going to wait forever... they go with whatever they can get. At least he had the decency to stop flirting with u when he was in a relationship... it didnt work out and he's back to you.
The rebound theory does apply if he was in a relation with the other girl for a reasonable time and sees you as someone vulnerable.
Everyone is different. I started dating within a month of breaking up from a serious relationship. Unlike other rebound stories, it worked out really well for me.
I actually watched a friend go through an experience that makes me think Cary's guess may not necessarily be correct. A guy in one of my old circle of friends was OBSESSED with a girl from said circle. He wanted to date her so badly. She was sort of open to the idea at the time, but not completely sure, and it showed, so he didn't go for it. In the meantime, he dated multiple girls who showed more definite interest in him. Each time he genuinely wanted it to work out, but he just couldn't let go of his feelings for our friend. I mean, I think he was being pretty reasonable. Why waste time pursuing someone who doesn't really want to be with you?
So, to the question-asker, if you're really interested, let it show...or just straight-up tell him.
go out and have fun
I am in the exact ame situation right now...this guy has just been shamelessly flirting with me after he has broken up with his girlfriend. I went to a party at his house and he wanted to talk to me and show me the texts that his ex was sending him etc........like he wanted everything out in the open but then last night I found out that they are happily flirting again. In my situation I know I am the rebound but I am beyond caring....I just don't know what to do anymore....
I think that yes this guy is a 1 woman man (thats good) BUT if your (real) friends and just teasing/flirting with each other then theres no reason for him to "dump" you for her, theres nothing wrong with a guy just having a girl as a friend.
But if he wants something thats never going to happen then that changes the whole thing.
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hahha I agree