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WA- help! My boyfriend recently came for a visit. We haven't been face to face for a year. Also I live with my parents. He wants to be all over me in front of them and I'm just not comfortable with that. When I told him politely to back off, he got all hurt and now he won't talk to me. How can I fix this?

God, what is it with all the whiny, pouty, butthurt men I keep hearing about in Guyspeak questions? Are guys really that clueless and thin-skinned anymore?

I'm not surprised that your boyfriend was horny and couldn't wait to get his mitts on you after a year apart, but PDA in front of parents just isn't cool, especially in their own house. It's disrespectful to them and to you. You shouldn't even have to ask him to back off, and he certainly shouldn't act like a baby when you do. If you two stay together, he will eventually care about what your parents think of him. If their lasting impression of him is a guy who had the nerve to feel you up in their living room, you can expect bigger problems in the future than just keeping him at bay, I assure you.

How do you fix this? You don't. You've done nothing wrong. Leave him alone until he gets over it. Hopefully he will have the good sense to realize he's being an idiot and will return to you contrite. If not, well, do you really want a boyfriend who will try to make you feel guilty every time you say something he doesn't like?

In the future you might want to make arrangements for some alone time with your guy when he comes to town after a long absence, like having him stay in a hotel or a friend's house where you can have some privacy. I've been in his shoes before and it's no fun, but you have to be respectful to parents.

Thanks for the question.

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6 Comments

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I agree, he should restrain himself in front of her parents, but, still, after a year apart, she didn't miss him enough to even want to make those arrangements so they can make up for lost time? I too would have thought she would have been eager to get physical after such a long separation, and had something setup for some privacy. In my past relations, it was always like that, if she was staying where would couldn't be alone, she always arranged something ahead of time so when I arrived, we could be intimate right away.

I can see why he would be, "butthurt", from her question, she doesn't even sound interested in being intimate, and that would make anyone upset, particularly after a year of being apart.

Ashlie

Thanks Cary! This was my question. The only reason he didn't stay in a hotel where we could be Alone is bc neither Of us drives and the nearest hotel to my parents house is 10 miles away. Otherwise I would have had him stay in a hotel. Next time though. Thanks for answering!

Cary McNeal

I didn't get the impression that she wasn't interested in physical contact, just that she didn't want to do it in front of her folks.

Ashlie

Also, I had no objections to cuddling and such after my parents and my son went to bed, I just didn't want to do it in front of them.

Cary McNeal

All the more reason that he shouldn't be giving you the silent treatment now. You did what you could.

brat02

I agree, when I was dateing my ex he at least waited until my parents were out of the room to even sneak a kiss.

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