Simple: stop making up the difference.
When the rent comes due and you come up short, tell him that you've paid your half and you don't have any extra to contribute, then ask him what he intends to do about it so you two don't get evicted. Make it his problem, not yours, because it is. You're doing your part and he's not.
What you don't want to do is make this about his mom, because that's a battle you won't win. Where he spends his money is irrelevant; even if he were giving it to the Salvation Army, he would still be coming up short. The problem is his spending habits, not his mother, so do yourself and favor and leave her out of it.
At this point your boyfriend is no better than a roommate who's not holding up his/her side of the deal. What would you do if that were the case? Me, I would cover a roommate once, but if he came up short again and I knew he was using his money for other things, I would start looking for other living arrangements.
Your boyfriend is taking advantage of you, and you have to stop enabling that. Let him worry about eviction or the lights being cut off. If he can't or won't take responsibility for the problems that he is causing, you need to think about moving out. It shouldn't be your problem to fix his irresponsibility.
Thanks for the question.
Great advice, all the way around. I hope she takes it to heart.
Thanks.
Why isn't it about the mother? If they have been together and made live together it seems as if they are planning a future. Eventually the mother will become an issue right?
Because it's his money and his business how he spends it. He might blow just as much money on lottery tickets or at Starbucks as he gives his mom. It's not the OP's job to tell him where to cut back, just that he does whatever he needs to do to cover his half of the bills. Telling him where he needs to cut back means she still owns the problem; let him figure it out and make the hard decisions. If she browbeats the guy into cutting off his mom, he will resent her for it in the long run.
I will have to disagree with your response to this question. I had a very similar situation with my husband and him giving his mom our household money. Maybe its different when your married but the asked about the future will this become an issue and yes it does! My mother in law doesn't pay any of her bills(Bro in law does) and she has a job but she always ask for money to support her shopping addiction. My view on it is that we work hard to support our children and household and I started to resent her because I felt like she was taking money from my kids which anyone with a decent heart wouldnt do. Therefore if you plan on marrying this person, yes it does become an issue! One that you should work out now while your only dating.
I agree with you to an extent, but I do think it's different when you are married.
This type of situation does not change.... This is a snapshot glimps of what her future will hold. If she doesn't like it, it's time to move along.... Family members know no boundaries...
I agree. Its more of a responsibility issue than a family issue. I think the same goes for my situation
My boyfriend and I are trying to save up money to move out of his mothers house, but she demands not only rent money but random pocket money as well.
I think I will just move back home and wait for him to prepare a place for us to live on his own