When a guy says, "I don't want a relationship but I want to see where this goes," what he means is, "I want to date you and sleep with you, but I'm not going to stop dating and sleeping with other women, at least not right now." He's telling you that you two are not exclusive. With that in mind, I think you should absolutely go out with other guys if that is what you want to do. It's called playing the field; he's doing it, so why can't you?
Whether or not you tell him is up to you. I applaud your conscience, but you certainly don't owe it to him--again, you're not exclusive, so who you date is your private business. If you feel the need to tell him anyway, fine, but be aware that he might interpret this information as a tactic to pressure him into a more serious relationship. I don't know the guy or how adamant he is about not wanting a relationship, so you'll have to go with you gut on that one. Does he tell you about his other dates?
I don't understand why you would need to change your relationship status with the guy just because you go out with other men. If you like him, keep dating him. You don't have to dump him just because you're dating around. You're a free agent: do what you want. These are valid concerns, but they pertain to a more serious relationship, and you're not really in one.
Thanks for the question.
I don't think telling him automatically means that you're pushing for more... I would want to know if a person I was sleeping with was sleeping with other people.
That's how you avoid diseases... and it is (not so) common courtesy!
Good answer Cary....
Thank you this helps a ton!!!!
This is tricky. You've only been out on a few dates...it seems super early to even talk about a relationship or "exclusivity." But in my experience, be careful if you start to really like this guy. When he says "I don't want a relationship," he reallyyyy means it. If you end up liking him and wanting one with him, and he still doesn't then I would walk away. Period. But until then, dating other dudes will distract your complete attention away from just that one guy. I agree with Cary, and you gotta think like a dude! :-)
I don't think it's fair to be dating more than one person at a time. If you go on a date with someone who you like more than this guy, end things. He isn't willing to date you exclusively, so if something better comes along, end things with him and date the new one. I'm not saying you can't play the field, but I think it's disrespectful to be dating two people at once - whether you're a guy or girl.
I also think that going on a few dates without hooking up is one thing. But if you've slept together, have the decency to tell him that you're also seeing other people - if for no other reason than pure safety and health reasons! I would absolutely want to know if I was at a higher risk of getting an STD.
I was in this situation once and even though we weren't exclusive, I would have hated it if he was out dating other girls, too. The rule kind of was that if we met someone we wanted to date or be serious with, we'd let the other person know. Neither person should be out there getting with as many people as they can. Whether or not you've agreed to date openly, it's just disrespectful, in my opinion.
You should assume the person you've just started seeing is seeing other people besides you unless and until you've had a conversation establishing otherwise. You're not obligated to share with the person that you're seeing others even if the two of you have decided it's ok.