ur a douchebag, Mysteryman. Not having sex before marriage weeds out jerks like u!

Mystery Man is 100% correct. Look, woman-to-woman, you would be NUTS to marry a man you haven't slept with. All sex is not equal, & there is such a thing as terrible sex, my friend. In fact, a long time ago, I made the mistake of falling in love with a man before sleeping with him (that sounds kind of bad, saying it was a mistake, but I'm being honest here). That relationship was fast and serious (and based on attraction, respect, admiration, etc, just like it's "supposed to be"). I dreamed of marrying him, even. Then, when we did do it, it was terrible. The chemistry, everything. We ended it. And to this day, that is one decision (maybe the only one) that I have never questioned.

And it's not just about chemistry. You learn a TON about someone from sleeping with them. The way a person acts in the bedroom is not divorced from who they are outside the bedroom. You learn a lot (some good, some bad, and some strange) about a person based on not just how they perform, but how they deal with intimacy in general, after sleeping with them.

So, if you view your body as just a plaything for your future spouse to enjoy, then go ahead, get married without sleeping with him. BUT even that might blow up in your face. Not only will you resent him, but have you ever considered that HE might not like sleeping with YOU? Being a virgin doesn't automatically make you a guaranteed fun time in the bed, darling. So, then, you'll resent each other. Hm, sounds like a fun way to spend eternity.

(Further, I have serious questions about the character of a man who enters into such a relationship - but that's another issue entirely)

Look, I respect a woman's decision to do what she wants with her body, but really, I would suggest you think about this A LOT before making any decisions about marriage, abstinence before marriage, etc. Also, if you're young, there is no harm in waiting until you're older (or more mature) to have sex. I would actually suggest that. And if you do decide to have sex, always always always use protection.

Sorry this was so long, but really, I was shocked by this question and thought it sort of serious, and maybe could benefit from a woman's pov?

MM is right.

Sara, the Stone Age called and they want you back immediately. Bye.

Agreed. It is a shame that people who choose to wait (and everyone should be free to make that decision) put themselves at such a disadvantage in the dating world, but the fact remains: testing out your sexual compatibility before getting married just makes good sense.

I'd say plenty of people could wait a little longer before giving in to their animal urges. But let's say a year into the relationship? If you're not having sex, you're turning a blind eye to something that can be a great source of joy (and a huge source of friction...pun intended) when and if you do get married. It's a gamble is all.

And trust me, the "weeding out" theory doesn't hold water. If a guy stays with you for months, or even years without sex, why would waiting till marriage make him any fitter of a partner than he is already?

I'm in agreeance (or whatever Roger Clemens was in) with everybody else here. At the point that you're willing to spend the rest of your life (or at the very least a year or two, or two weeks in Britney Spears case) with somebody, you REALLY need to make sure that sexual compatibility exists. Plus, it behooves the woman even more. What if HE sucks in bed...no pun intended. Then you're stuck with a man who's idea of a long time is 3.5 minutes and a quick boob rub.

Sara, Why does this make MM a Dbag? You are being a bit prudish, and naive. Ask any of your guy (or girl friends for that matter), and they will probably answer the same way. Test drive before you buy. You think because a guy wants to have sex with you before he's married to you that he's a jerk?!? It's 2009 my friend, good luck finding a guy who is not a jerk according to your standards. Besides, what are the benefits of "saving yourself" for marriage? Maybe you can enlighten all of us sinners.

i just dont believe in choosing a life partner based on if they can perform and i am not calling anyone a sinner, penny. The benefits r:
1. knowing u dont have a std
2. the most effective birth control
3. a relationship that isn't based on just sex

I think that you should stay with the person until you know whether you want to commit to that or not. Sex isn't everything. What if this chick is the girl of your dreams and you miss out? My husband and I waited to have sex until we were married. I told him when we first started dating that I wanted to wait and he had no problem with it. Now we've been married over 2 years, have a 7 month old son, and both couldn't be happier. We also have an AMAZING sex life. It's rediculous to think that just because you're a virgin you'll suck in bed. Sure you have no experience, but you try things, tell eachother what you like, and work it out. I love that i share that intimacy with one person and I was proud to let him know that I waited for him and only him. If you really love eachother then everything else will fall into place.

Ok i just really had to comment on this....i think people shouldn't have A LOT of sex before marriage. i think the relationship should be pretty serious before you do and then after you have sex you can really tell if you love the guy or not.

Who knows what is really going on with MM? or his girl? The first thought I had (you know, since we are now out of the Stone Age)..... maybe, she's not that into him. If he's had her on more than two dates and sex has not came up, in one way or another (vocally or physically). MM is not negotiating his deals correctly (remember he wanted to know if it was a "deal breaker"). If she truly is waiting until marriage, (and sex is important to him obviously), wouldn't you think he would know that? After all, he said he really liked her. What does he like? Her sweet lil cheek pecks and whispers of "call me tomorrow" OR her deep throat kisses and ass slapping dry humping. She's one or the other, so why are you confused. She is either truly going to wait, or not that into you.... or worse yet... trying to snag a ring.

I agree with Sara on this point - there is nothing wrong with waiting until marriage. For many people, it's a religious choice, or it could be health-related, or whatever the reason may be. If nothing else, having that discussion is a great way to determine how compatible you are on an important issue.

I'm definitely not a prude and did not wait until I was married, but I wish that I had. Retrospectively, it was a mistake, and one I made more times than I'd like to admit. I definitely subjected myself to unnecessary health risks and really dodged a bullet. Most people have no idea how dangerous it is to sleep around - many STDs, including the incurable ones, are totally asymptomatic; i.e. just because someone looks safe, it absolutely does not mean they are. Most people who have STDs are unaware, for just that reason. No symptoms? No reason to get checked, right? Wrong. Condoms do not protect against everything, and you can easily catch something you can't get rid of. What I've learned is that having sex with someone is often a huge leap of faith and sometimes, physical russian roulette. Whatever your moral stance, it shouldn't be taken lightly.

I respect other people's choices, and would expect those I'm close to to respect mine. Any man for whom that would be a "deal breaker" is obviously not someone I'd click with anyway. How about just talking about what you want or like or expect? Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean you can't do a whole range of things that give you a general (or specific!) idea of sexual compatibility. Strong chemistry is pretty obvious even with your clothes on.

OMG you guys a jerks. It's a personal choice!!! Period !!!

VIRGINS OUT THERE, DON'T LISTED TO THEM.....DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT !!!!

First few times suck anyways, why not do it with someone you married to, so you don't have to switch partenrs in attempt to "make it better" but work on building your affection and s&x drive and all that.... with your husband !

Most of your Q&A are awesome, but this one sucks.

how would you know that the first times suck anyways? unless........ YOU HAVE HAD SEX (gasp) well your married right? because if not, then what you said is complete bologna and they aren't jerks they are giving everyone there veiws on it, this site is called "GUYSPEAK"

I think I am one of the few women who fully agree with MM. I am not easy by any means, but I know from past relationships that if it your not happy in the bedroom you relationship wont last. Even for women, we have wants and needs and when we don't get them met, we are bitches. Why would you want to marry a guy or girl before you know that they can please you???? I would think you were crazy. There is such a thing as being sexually compatible. Don't waste your time unless you know your satisfied.

When I think of people that wait until marriage to have sex all I can think about is the 2 characters in Forgetting Sarah marshall, lol It's hilarious.

I think that you should make up your mind based on the person your with. Even though you have made a decision to stay a virgin you might end up changing your mind and it shouldn't make you feel bad just because your not married to the person. But if you want to stick to your guns then you will definitely need to find a guy who is ok with it because unfotunately it is a dealbreaker with some guys even if they are interested in you for more than just sex. I did not wait until marriage and I do not regret it but I also did not sleep around, but everyone is different to each his own. The only person that should make that decision is you.

It's not like intercourse is the only way to figure out how someone will be in bed, in terms of style, personality, skill, and chemistry.

Don't be so naive boys.

I really hope young teenage girls aren't reading this. It's sad. As Zoe said, there ARE other ways to know if you're sexually compatible! If you have natural chemistry when you're dating-both communication wise and physically (making out, etc), trust me, the sex will be more than ok. Please, do NOT think that you have to have sex to keep a guy interested or know if you'll be ably to enjoy sex when you're married. If you love each other and are committed to each other, your marriage will be not be hurt by waiting. You can however damage yourself emotionally and physically by testing out your sexual chemistry with people before you're married. It's a greater risk than possibly having to practice a little harder on your sex life when you're married.

I was a virgin when I married. I'm married to a musician who some of you probably would know. Meaning, there are guys out there from all sorts of backgrounds that will wait if it's the right woman. Sex is important, but having a good relationship is more than just sex. Don't listen to this crap. They just want reassurance that the way they dated and live is the right way. If you like this girl, you communicate well, and you have a physical connection, the advice this guys gave you is worthless. The fact you asked the question, including that you like this girl, makes me think you're willing to wait, but are scared of what people will think. You don't need other people to approve of your relationship.

Why do you think people got married so young in the 50's? It's because many of them believed in waiting until marriage and basically got married so they could have sex.

Well, I married someone who signed a "true love waits" card. HE was so "in love with me" (i.e. sexually frustrated) that he proposed quickly and we were married within a few months. I was young and responsible, he was young, spoiled, and mean. I divorced him in less than 2 yrs after constant verbal abuse, no money (since he wouldn't get a job), and constant tourmoil. IF we would have had sex ( I was willling, but he was too "moral"), that whole rush to marriage thing wouldn't have happened. Sex is a biological need and using it to manipulate people for some skewed ideal of "what love is suppose to be" is a very stupid way to live.

Oh, and it takes expierence to get good at anything. Look for people who have been in long term (years long) relationships. They are the best at sex. "Players" who have had lots of one night stands but nothing substantial--they aren't very good..though they like to think they are :-)

OMG... Stop with the "there are other ways to judge compatibility besides sex!" We know that, or else we wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place! This discussion is regarding SEX as an *additional* factor or consideration. Stop with the "poor young teenage girls" allusion. No one's encouraging young, uneducated, or pressured sex. We're talking about mature grown @$$ adults who may or may not want to experience their partner intimately before committing to a marriage. It's a matter of opinion & personal preference. Join another forum to discuss peer pressure, teenage pregnancy, and abortions, because that has nothing to do w/his question.

1) MM is 100% RIGHT based on the needs of the PERSON ASKING THE QUESTION. If he is asking this question, that means SEX is an important factor to him in a relationship. Not necessarily the ONLY factor, nor THE most important factor, but it is a FACTOR to him... so for him to ignore it would not be sensible, in his case. This does not make him a Douche bag. It's not about "keeping him interested," if that was the case he'd already be gone. It's just about this certain side of his partner that he may want to know & experience, and isn't sure if their wedding day is the right time to do it. I'll admit "Deal breaker" might be a harsh term, bc it sounds like "oh you don't want to have sex? Ok, peace." LOL - but I think it's just a fitting term to describe whether or not something is negotiable.

2) I agree w/Michael regarding the "weeding out" theory. You can easily weed out jerks by just waiting for the right time in the relationship to have sex (amongst other common sense red flags! lol), so you shouldn't have to commit to a permanent marital bond to "prove" he's not a jerk. There is a difference between "I want to get in this girls pants without commitment" and "I am committed to this person, and would like to get to know them sexually before entering into a life-long partnership."

4) "It's not like intercourse is the only way to figure out how someone will be in bed, in terms of style, personality, skill, and chemistry." We know that too! But intercourse is the only way to figure out how someone will be with *intercourse* in terms of style & definitely skill! Period. I'm sorry, but practice does not always make perfect, especially in this area. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life "practicing." You call the boys "naive" for pointing this out, but I think it's naive for someone to assume "if we're oh so in love, we will work it out in the bedroom" if they've never even had sex, and don't even know if that's possible. Maybe they will work it out, maybe they won't, but I guess they will never know the difference since they don't have anything to compare it to, LOL. And now that they're married, they never will. Not to say that the whole point of having sex before marriage is to "test the waters," with a clip-board & score sheet on hand, but I believe overall it is more important to get married because you both are truly happy (with every aspect), than to just "work it out" because you got married.

3) Regarding the so-called benefits:
1. knowing u dont have a std
- This is a benefit of monogamy, not marriage. My boyfriend & I are monogamous STD free partners, so we can have great sex all day long and still "know we don't have an STD" regardless of when we get married, lol.
2. the most effective birth control
- I agree it's *most* effective, but w/other largely effective methods, you can responsibly experience the benefits of 'sex before marriage.'
3. a relationship that isn't based on just sex
- Abstaining from sex isn't the only way to determine this. I have a wonderful relationship that is (and was from the beginning) based on SO much more than just sex. We personally don't even enjoy sex unless it's in a relationship that is already built on love, trust, and compassion, so after months of building on those other elements, there's nothing wrong with adding sex to the list. It doesn't magically become "the only element in your relationship!" If anything, I've found it magnifies the other things, if done at the right time, and with the right person.

Anyway, this whole discussion is pretty much null & void, & really just depends on what's important to each individual person, and here's why:

For someone who has had sex before marriage, I DON'T regret it, because I never slept around or got any STD's, but I've been enough intimate relationships to appreciate the HELL out of what I've got now! ;) lol Needless to say, there will be no regretting it after we are married.

Anyone who has had sex before marriage, and DOES regret it, shouldn't. Granted you've given yourself to him/her, but even if you are no longer w/that person there is a reason you are no longer together (incompatibility, whatever), and if you HAD waited until marriage, you WOULD be stuck with them, so be glad! lol On the other hand, if you are married to that person, I'm not sure what there is to regret.

And lastly, those who waited until marriage, are happily married, and have a happy sex life (as far as you know), great! Glad it worked out for you. Doesn't mean it will for everyone. Ask those who waited until marriage, and aren't happily married, or don't have a happy sex life - hope it was worth the wait. 0_o

(If you haven't had sex at all, you're entitled to your own beliefs & opinions, but you're definitely not in a position to give anyone else advice on the subject, since you have yet to be proven right/wrong by your own experience(s).

OMG... Stop with the "there are other ways to judge compatibility besides sex!" We know that, or else we wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place! This discussion is regarding SEX as an *additional* factor or consideration. Stop with the "poor young teenage girls" allusion. No one's encouraging young, uneducated, or pressured sex. We're talking about mature grown @$$ adults who may or may not want to experience their partner intimately before committing to a marriage. It's a matter of opinion & personal preference. Join another forum to discuss peer pressure, teenage pregnancy, and abortions, because that has nothing to do w/his question.

1) MM is 100% RIGHT based on the needs of the PERSON ASKING THE QUESTION. If he is asking this question, that means SEX is an important factor to him in a relationship. Not necessarily the ONLY factor, nor THE most important factor, but it is a FACTOR to him... so for him to ignore it would not be sensible, in his case. This does not make him a Douche bag. It's not about "keeping him interested," if that was the case he'd already be gone. It's just about this certain side of his partner that he may want to know & experience, and isn't sure if their wedding day is the right time to do it. I'll admit "Deal breaker" might be a harsh term, bc it sounds like "oh you don't want to have sex? Ok, peace." LOL - but I think it's just a fitting term to describe whether or not something is negotiable.

2) I agree w/Michael regarding the "weeding out" theory. You can easily weed out jerks by just waiting for the right time in the relationship to have sex (amongst other common sense red flags! lol), so you shouldn't have to commit to a permanent marital bond to "prove" he's not a jerk. There is a difference between "I want to get in this girls pants without commitment" and "I am committed to this person, and would like to get to know them sexually before entering into a life-long partnership."

4) "It's not like intercourse is the only way to figure out how someone will be in bed, in terms of style, personality, skill, and chemistry." We know that too! But intercourse is the only way to figure out how someone will be with *intercourse*! Period. I'm sorry, but practice does not always make perfect, especially in this area. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life "practicing." You call the boys "naive" for pointing this out, but I think it's naive for someone to assume "if we're oh so in love, we will work it out in the bedroom" if they've never even had sex, and don't even know if that's possible. Maybe they will work it out, maybe they won't, but I guess they will never know the difference since they don't have anything to compare it to, LOL. And now that they're married, they never will. Not to say that the whole point of having sex before marriage is to "test the waters," with a clip-board & score sheet on hand, but I believe overall it is more important to get married because you both are truly happy (with every aspect), than to just "work it out" because you got married.

3) Regarding the so-called benefits:
1. knowing u dont have a std
- This is a benefit of monogamy, not marriage. My boyfriend & I are monogamous STD free partners, so we can have great sex all day long and still "know we don't have an STD" regardless of when we get married, lol.
2. the most effective birth control
- I agree it's *most* effective, but w/other largely effective methods, you can responsibly experience the benefits of 'sex before marriage.'
3. a relationship that isn't based on just sex
- Abstaining from sex isn't the only way to determine this. I have a wonderful relationship that is (and was from the beginning) based on SO much more than just sex. We personally don't even enjoy sex unless it's in a relationship that is already built on love, trust, and compassion, so after months (or years, or however long you need) of building on those other elements, there's nothing wrong with adding sex to the list. Sex doesn't magically & tragically become "the only element in your relationship!" If anything, I've found that it magnifies the other things, if done at the right time, and with the right person.

Anyway, this whole discussion is pretty much null & void, & really just depends on what's important to each individual person, and here's why:

For someone who has had sex before marriage, I DON'T regret it, because I never slept around or got any STD's, but I've been enough intimate relationships to appreciate the HELL out of what I've got now! ;) lol Needless to say, there will be no regretting it after we are married.

Anyone who has had sex before marriage, and DOES regret it, shouldn't. Granted you've given yourself to him/her, but even if you are no longer w/that person there is a reason you are no longer together (incompatibility, whatever), and if you HAD waited until marriage, you WOULD be stuck with them, so be glad! lol On the other hand, if you are married to that person, I'm not sure what there is to regret.

And lastly, those who waited until marriage, are happily married, and have a great sex life (as far as you know), awesome! Glad it worked out for you. Doesn't mean it will for everyone. Ask those who waited until marriage, and aren't happily married, or don't have a happy sex life - hope it was worth the wait. 0_o

(If you haven't had sex at all, you're entitled to your own beliefs & opinions, but you're definitely not in a position to give anyone else advice on the subject, since you have yet to be proven right/wrong by your own experience(s).

On the original question, I wouldn't say that waiting until marriage would be a dealbreaker for me, but it would be a point of concern.

I would ask about it, and make sure that if we do get to the point of having sex, that she is confident that she will be eager to enjoy exploring our sexual relationship, and often. Additionally, I would want clarification about where the boundaries are for her before having sex.

There is of course no guarantee that she will actually keep her word and be eager once we get married, but I have heard plenty of stories of women who had high sex drives before marriage, and then slowing sex frequency down to a crawl after getting married.

That said, once I know the limitations our pre-marital relationship will have, I could then make my decision. And I could say a case where I would be up for waiting.

why it's important to wait until you're married to have sex.....

You need to REALLY know who you're having sex with..he could end up being a psycho, a pervert, he could have STD's. He could break your heart.
He could get you pregnant and never pay child support. He could be married and his wife could kill you. He could kill you. He considers you his bootycall. He could be jealous and clingy. what if he doesn't want to marry you? He could be abusive etc. Look ladies, respect yourself and you will find a man who respects you.

For OMGBecky, serial monogamy is not true monogamy and does not protect you against STDs. Even condoms are not what they are billed as -- "safe sex." They do not *eliminate* the risk of contracting cancer-causing diseases; they merely reduce it. I do not call consistent condom use's reduction of the transmission rate of cancer-causing HPV from 89% per patient year of sexual activity to 37% per patient year "safe." And HPV isn't even the only cancer-causing STD.

Go to Wikipedia and look up "Sexually Transmitted Infection" -- then click through the list of diseases and look at the stats and transmission methods. So many people these days think oral sex is safe sex because the girl can't get pregnant -- that it is now responsible for a full 25% of all diagnosed head and neck cancers -- as many as smoking. And it is transmissible via saliva. Oh, and a baby born to a woman with HPV can even develop lung cancer; HPV is now the leading cause of lung cancer in children under age six.

I am a virgin and will marry only a virgin. Not only do I not want to play russian roulette with cancer, but I don't want to be one of many; I want to be his one and only. I want to be the one in his special memories of his first time.

One guy I'd dated had only had one girlfriend before me, and even that was years earlier. At first, he was a pretty mediocre kisser. But then he googled styles of kissing. Wow!! Proof that if a guy is smart, if he has good spatial awareness, and if he is humble enough to admit what he doesn't know, research it, and practice, he can become excellent.

Even before I cross the kissing bridge with a guy, I make sure I know his character pretty well, and I have a conversation with him about appropriate boundaries for then, for later in dating, and for engagement, if, hypothetically, the relationship were to go that far. And every guy I've dated has been willing to wait the month or two it takes to get to the point where we could have that conversation. The only guy I've dumped due to anything in the physical arena was the one who admitted he HADN'T saved sex for marriage. All the other relationships died for other reasons -- which would have happened even if we'd gone further physically. At least I don't have the diseases, level of heartbreak, or regrets I would have had if we'd crossed those boundaries. And I still have the respect and admiration of all those guys; a few have even tried to come back in subsequent years and date me again.

I think it boils down to the fact that there are two kinds of people out there: the ones who wouldn't consider marriage without "sampling the goods" first, and the ones who wouldn't consider marriage with someone who runs the risk of carrying a disease which could kill them or their kids, who wouldn't be a good role model for their kids, and who thinks with condom use that they can outsmart the omnicient God of the universe who created humankind and the laws (including the moral laws) of the universe. There are ALWAYS consequences of breaking God's laws.

For OMGBecky, serial monogamy is not true monogamy and does not protect you against STDs. Even condoms are not what they are billed as -- "safe sex." They do not *eliminate* the risk of contracting cancer-causing diseases; they merely reduce it. I do not call consistent condom use's reduction of the transmission rate of cancer-causing HPV from 89% per patient year of sexual activity to 37% per patient year "safe." And HPV isn't even the only cancer-causing STD.

Go to Wikipedia and look up "Sexually Transmitted Infection" -- then click through the list of diseases and look at the stats and transmission methods. So many people these days think oral sex is safe sex because the girl can't get pregnant -- that it is now responsible for a full 25% of all diagnosed head and neck cancers -- as many as smoking. And it is transmissible via saliva. Oh, and a baby born to a woman with HPV can even develop lung cancer; HPV is now the leading cause of lung cancer in children under age six.

I am a virgin and will marry only a virgin. Not only do I not want to play russian roulette with cancer, but I don't want to be one of many; I want to be his one and only. I want to be the one in his special memories of his first time.

One guy I'd dated had only had one girlfriend before me, and even that was years earlier. At first, he was a pretty mediocre kisser. But then he googled styles of kissing. Wow!! Proof that if a guy is smart, if he has good spatial awareness, and if he is humble enough to admit what he doesn't know, research it, and practice, he can become excellent.

Even before I cross the kissing bridge with a guy, I make sure I know his character pretty well, and I have a conversation with him about appropriate boundaries for then, for later in dating, and for engagement, if, hypothetically, the relationship were to go that far. And every guy I've dated has been willing to wait the month or two it takes to get to the point where we could have that conversation. The only guy I've dumped due to anything in the physical arena was the one who admitted he HADN'T saved sex for marriage. All the other relationships died for other reasons -- which would have happened even if we'd gone further physically. At least I don't have the diseases, level of heartbreak, or regrets I would have had if we'd crossed those boundaries. And I still have the respect and admiration of all those guys; a few have even tried to come back in subsequent years and date me again.

I think it boils down to the fact that there are two kinds of people out there: the ones who wouldn't consider marriage without "sampling the goods" first, and the ones who wouldn't consider marriage with someone who runs the risk of carrying a disease which could kill them or their kids, who wouldn't be a good role model for their kids, and who thinks with condom use that they can outsmart the omnicient God of the universe who created humankind and the laws (including the moral laws) of the universe. There are ALWAYS consequences of breaking God's laws.

I am also a virgin and am waiting for religious reasons. Maybe it's because I'm a spiritual person, but I am convinced that the man who is out there for me will be compatible in EVERY area. That's because I'm a person of faith. I don't think I will be rewarded for years of celibacy with terrible sex. I just don't believe it will happen.

I am seeing a really wonderful person right now who isn't a virgin and is willing to wait because that's just how much he cares about me. That's the ultimate sign of a good man, ladies! Just saying.

30 year old virgin, PREACH IT!

so many comments i couldnt even read through them all!
my personal decision based on my personal and religious beliefs is that i plan on waiting til marriage. but i don't go around telling people who believe in premarital sex they are douchebags. i respect their very valid reasoning. it takes a lot to refrain from what is so natural...a whole lot. but it is rooted some where so much deeper than my physical body. which is why i can hold out. or try to. if others don't have that and its not rooted that deeply, it would be like asking a dog not to piss to expect that of them. yelling at sexually active people won't change their minds. my decision is a realistic one. and though men who are compatible with my morals and needs are in the severe minority, my faith...which is the reason why i am not slappin skins in the first place...tell me i'll be rewarded. and even in today's day and time, i'm okay with that. know what i am getting myself into, i'm grown enough to make that choice and face that reality. but i believe in love more than sex. and i believe that love will intensify an orgasm. so im cool with the sanctitiy of marriage. so no, MM i do not think you are a douchebag, so many have the mindset you do. understandably so. touche'..just not my way.

p.s. oh i plan to have sooo much sex. so much. like we might start half way down the aisle. so trust me, we will have lots of practice. lots. of. practice.