We go out with friends on weekends occasionally & we watch football together sober every Sunday. We always do it after the game, sober. He says he loves my boobs, he's attentive, makes sure I'm satisfied & I hang around after until I feel like going back to my place. Is this going anywhere or are we good "buddies"?
Dan Seitz answered this question on
November 9, 2011 6:55 AM
Honestly, I think the door's open to more, but you've got to walk through it.
If you're going out with friends some weekends, and hanging out every weekend, that doesn't really sound like friends with benefits to me. I'd test the waters by asking him if he wants to grab dinner some time during the week, and go from there. Good luck!
He can tell you he loves your boobs but he can’t ask you out? Buddies.
You make it sound like a guy liking your boobs is an indicator of true affection. I honestly don't see this whole arrangement going anywhere, based on the info given. But you know the guy and I don't so if you feel there's potential, might as well see what happens if you're willing to risk messing up the fun you're having now.
Imjustagirl made the point I was going to make--if he wanted to be something more, he'd probably ask you out. I say probably because it's true that some guys are pansies. But my instincts tell me that this is probably just a convenient, nice way to spend a weekend for him. I mean, what guy wouldn't want sex right after football; it's like a marriage of the two things they live for.
For the record, not all men enjoy football, myself among them. :-)
The thing is, while he may well be satisfied with the way things are (football + sex = awesome), that doesn't mean he wouldn't be open to this becoming more than that. Actually I'm sure he's quite aware that this arrangement can't possibly be long term. I agree with RP, about testing the waters, might yield you a great relationship.
One thing to think about beforehand though:
How does he relate to other women? Does he brag to friends about other conquests, or does he seem disinterested and/or avoiding the topic when it comes up? If the former, then it's probably not going to play out too well, and he's a jerk. If the latter, he might already kind of think about you as his GF.
If you are happy with the situation just accept as is. If you want more, tell him how you feel. Do not comtinue this arrangement if it does not make you both happy. He could be just using you out of convenience, and if you are looking for more you will get hurt as well as miss opportunities to meet other guys. good luck.
Well, you want more which means your current arrangement needs to come to an end. It is up to you whether you try for a conventional relationship or just end things altogether. Either way, things will inevitably change for both of you. I suggest going for the change you want to see.
Since you two are sleeping together, I think it's safe to say he knows you'd be open to more. In fact, I'm willing to go as far as to say he knows you WANT more. 'Sex' is woman's power, 'whether you're in relationship' is man's power. Most men believe (or want to believe) that a woman would only have sex with them if they are interested in more - especially repeat sessions. If he's not taking it further, it's not because he's worried that you'd reject him. He knows you'd want more, so there's a reason he's not asking. Maybe he's letting the chips fall, or maybe he's content with the situation. But the truth here is, YOU'RE NOT.... so talk to him about it. Don't do the whole 'we need to talk' but just simply state you enjoy what's been going on and you're interested to see where this can go. Try to not be needy or overly emotional, just be confident ... bringing to light what a positive and fun experience this is for you and you want a little more of the same. If you can remind a man what a great time you two have together and how easy and fun it is (without trying to convince him) he'll be more willing to give a shot because he'll think it's a breeze to be with you. If he doesn't bite put an end to the casual sex. Don't get upset (cry later with a girlfriend) just say "you're great and this was a lot of fun, I hope we can still be friends" (add sexy smile and even a kiss on the forehead). Even if you were okay with just being friends w/ benefits, the scales have obviously tipped for you so before you get even more invested walk away. Easier said than done, I know, but you also have a better chance of having him possible change his mind if he knows that you're a confident woman who goes after what she wants, won't settle for less, or jeopardize her own happiness to stick around a guy who doesn't want more from her. Hope that helps.