You want a serious or a snarky answer?

Let's get the snark out of the way first - turn off the bedroom light.

Now for the serious answer. You are scared of getting laughed at if you pull an o-face in the throes of passion? We all do it. Funny Guy wrote a hysterical answer on that just a couple weeks ago. GIS o-face sometime and have a good laugh yourself. (Please note - if you are at work use safe search!!!) Or simply take a good, hard look at the male penis and try not to laugh yourself into a fit.

Now, to call a spade a muscle powered earth moving implement is a little bit beyond my pay grade or gag reflex, so I am going to assume that "lost my v unconsentually" means you were raped - either date raped or drunk raped, makes no odds either way.

Yes, it probably is connected. One of the things you hear over and over from women who were raped or forced to have sex is their obsession (not to belittle it, but there is no better word) with the eyes of their attacker. So you are not alone there.

It sounds like everything else is fine between you, and if he is paying attention to where your eyes are, he really isn't doing his job properly.
Can you look at him before you kiss, if you are fully clothed? If the answer to that is yes - relax. This is one of those worries that is not a worry really. You honestly don't have to look your boyfriend in the eyes during sex.
He won't care. Why should you?