i don't understand the question.

My Dear friend,
It give me a great pleasure to write you after viewing your profile today at (www.guyspeak.com) which really interest me to have communication with you, if you will have the desire with me so that we can get to know each other and see what happened in future.i will be very happy if you can write me through my email ( joy_ruba76@yahoo.com)for easiest communication,and for me to send to you my photo i will be waiting to hear from you.have a blessed day.

joy_ruba76@yahoo.com)

Aww, I'm guessing someone's been burned. There are several explanations.

The first is a simple miscommunication and expectations. He might have been looking for something serious and she wasn't and this didn't become clear until later.

The second is less forgiving. She's severely lacking in empathy and doesn't consider how her actions affect the person (or people she's) she's in a relationship with. When you don't care the feelings of others, and seek your own satisfaction, it's selfishness.

There might be other reasons, but I'd need to know more details.

It's not just a 'women use men as toys' ordeal because come on, men pull the same crap with women. It's all in who the person is. Erin hit the nail on the head with this one, and by the lack of details and straight to the point angst you posted, I'm assuming that meeting all the wrong women is an ongoing disappointment in your dating life. If you don't want to be a doormat, then don't. We only get treated as we allow others to treat us. You want a good woman and a real relationship, then expect nothing less, and don't settle for less. Just as women will be told after being taken advantage of by some jerk that there are plenty of REAL good men out there, same goes in your position; there are plenty of good women out there.

That would never happen to me, I'm too damned hideous for that!

Dude (OP), shut up and stop bragging!! You're superior to 95% of the male population, yet you whine like a little boy! Boohoo, no sympathy from me.

For me, it's an issue of self esteem. I think there is no way this great guy likes me, he must be using me for some reason or he must be desperate or bored. So I put my walls up. I'll have fun with him and match his enthusiasm when he kisses me or talks to me, but I won't let myself get emotionally invested. Then comes the time when I realize he was serious and I freak and run. I'm not unfeeling. In fact I'm hurting. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I leave a trail of crushed and confused men behind me. Sorry guys, really.

I'm actually in this exact situation. I have been "dating" (by that I mean having sex with on a regular basis and that's pretty much it) for about 2 months. I'm insanely attracted to him and to be honest can't keep my pants on when I' with him. He seems OK with that. But I am starting to wonder what the deal is and frankly I'm terrified to ask. I like him and want to spend time with him outside of his bedroom but I'm so afraid he doesn't give a crap about me I can't bring myself to ask. And frankly, he is not the most talkative of guys anyway. I don't know what to do about so I let him keep thinking I'm just "using" him. What else should I do?

You have not been dating that guy. (by that I mean having sex with on a regular basis and that's pretty much it) is typically defined using another word, starts with an f and ends with ing.

Dating would imply that you had some idea about how he feels about you and spending time outside the bedroom.

There really is no explanation. Some woman use men for money just like some men use women for sex. Its a perfect relationship when those two come together, perfect for everyone else that is.

You can try and come up with excuses, but at the end of the day, they do it because they know they can.

Erin really nailed it. Both men and women do this to each other. Other reasons.. A lot of times I've noticed that my guy friends who are wonderful great guys and my three brothers get treated like dirt by girls and the reason is always the same.. they don't want to date the girl who's maybe a 5 or lower on the looks scale but want to go after the girls that look like playmates. They want to go after the"hot girl" even after the hot girl tells them up front that they want a man with money, a nice car etc etc..

Im not saying all hot women are like this but there are a lot of them that are. The girls who are the nice girls tend to get overlooked all because they ain't so pretty to look at. But as I tell my brothers.. us "not so hot chicks" got more going for us; we know we have to have good personalities to make up for our lack of looks, we don't tend to have great self-esteem so we're not going to think anyone else wants us so you have no worries we'll cheat on you, we tend to be the girls that are flattered by attention and we don't care if you dont have a big bank account we just feel lucky to have somone who wants us. There's an old song my dad used to love that goes something like this.."if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you."

people act according to what they think they are worth, plain and simple. if women use men as nothing more than playthings, its because somewhere they believe they are nothing more than a plaything themselves. you ask for half a loaf thats what you're going to get. if you're dating someone thats doing that, or there's a trend in your experiences like that, you need a few self esteem points. dont engage with people for extended periods if they dont take you seriously, plain and simple. when you teach them its ok to be treated like a plaything, they do. people dont change with time, if you settle for being treated less than what you are worth, that's what you are going to end up with. less than what you are worth.

OK I need to clarify. We are definitely not dating. At first I didn't want to date him. He WAS my toy. In the interest of full disclosure I've got 5 years on him, WAY more money, was getting out of a shitty marriage, and am very attractive. Plus I have a ridiculous schedule that isn't conducive to a relationship right now. At first we did go out. I wasn't really looking for that but I felt like I should make a little effort. But it didn't take long for me to realize the sex was insanely good and as it's gone on I really don't want to do anything else. Well, I do but the second I'm with him I can't think straight. Given that he has a penis he doesn't seem overly concerned with this but the other day he implied that I "Didn't want to go out with him". Now I'm starting to feel bad. I do like him. I just am in love with his dick. I'm afraid I hurt him somewhere along the way and now I can't go anywhere with it. How this helps the original post I don't know. In my situation, I almost wish he would tell me to go to hell. Then maybe I could concentrate.

Probably because they see guys as players who care about nothing but the sex and think that they wouldn't mind if we do it back. This is from a woman's perspective, and though I am not faultless, I do not do this. It is simply what I can assume based upon my own guilty actions and thoughts about men.