When a woman of interest walks in a room, guys (even really really dumb guys) get this wave of Sherlock Holmesian deduction skills. All other things in the room slow down and distort out of focus. We are left with our minds fully dedicated to calibrating and assessing this new woman at hand.
1. Eyes: Princess Jasmine doe eyes? Icy blues? Mystic green? Blah brown?
2. Mouth:
a. Teeth: Clean and straight-ish? White without the Long Island/Hollywood ultra glow?
b. Lips: Joker wide? Toddler small? Chapped? Lubed beyond reason?
3. Ears: Super boney? Mega lobes? Cute and simple? Hair hiders?
4. Boobs: Cave man basics - Big? Small? Firm? Floppy? Also is she making them her visual calling card or keeping them tucked away?
5. Hands: Attention to finger size and width. Nubby and stubby? Basketball palming, ET large? Also, how are those nails and cuticles looking?
6. Thighs to Butt Ratio: Sporty? Thin? Thick as a brick? Basically, is she hiding or hollerin' this area?
7. Feet: Hobbit or Natalie Portman? Will I wear her shoes when I can't find mine?
8. Hair: Sweet make-out, roll around the grass, hair? Sleek, Club, pull-back, hair? Morning monster hair? Oily-ick locks?
9. Voice and Speech: Hoarse and scary? 8-yr-old girl creepy? Foreign exotic? California Rich girl? New York tough-ass? Midwest modest?
10. Overall Vibe and Body Language: Is she a Pushy Patty or Mellow Mary? A Sexy Sandy? Insecure Isabelle? Do I click with this human? Yes, we have concluded she is hot as hell, but she's also wearing a giant Gucci necklace and Prada jacket -- Abort Mission, Funny Guy, not your type! Repeat, Abort!
Since when are brown eyes "blah"? Not to mention, in your picture, it looks like you have brown eyes too! Way to diss yourself, Not-So-Funny Guy.
You are 100% right, L. There are many shades of fly brown. And though I have hazel, it was woopsy of me to not remark on the nice browns.
Jasmime doe eyes could mean Princess Jasmine of Aladdin and her eyes were brown, so you DID remark on nice browns :)
I second this. Brown eyes are sexy!
I disagree, while there are some great browns, they are blah because they are just so common. Not the mystic green or peircing blue, just brown.
I disagree, while there are some great browns, they are blah because they are just so common. Not the mystic green or peircing blue, just brown.
Insecure Isabelle??? I find us Izzys to be quite confident and secure! ;)
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you kinda failed at being funny and ended up coming off as dickish...i'm a brown eyed girl from california and you just dissed me twice. come on funny guy, step it up ;)
i think he was just making it rhyme.lol nice to know u pay attn to everything.that just made me more paranoid.=p
A few celebs with brown eyes:
Charlize Theron
Salma Hayek
Johnny Depp
Halle Berry
George Clooney
Alicia Keys
David Beckham
Keira Knightley
Eva Mendes
Kate Beckinsale
Diane Lane
Penelope Cruz
Anne Hathaway
Josh Hartnett
Rachel Bilson
Natalie Portman
Heidi Klum
Colin Farrell
Cindy Crawford
Brooke Burke
Blah? I think not.
Yes, yes, this is true. Also, a few more celebs with brown eyes: Joan Rivers, Regis, Whoopi and The Jonas Brothers.
Still not blah, though. I win.
and you still can't even forge together a simple appology? jerk.
i miss the old funny guy. what happened to him?
Dearest Lena, I did in fact amend my brown-out ways, a few days ago; check out the 2nd. comment on this thread. :)
alright alright, and you DID list kim kardashian as one of ur celeb crushes (she has brown eyes) so i will let it go
You need to add author Cary McNeal to that list of hot celebs who have sexy brown eyes! ;-)
"but she's also wearing a giant Gucci necklace and Prada jacket -- Abort Mission, Funny Guy, not your type! Repeat, Abort!" This seems kind of irrelevant. Some women just like nice things- even better if she bought them for herself and through her own hard work. It doesn't say much about your compatibility, just a lot about how quick you are to judge others for things that have nothing to do with their true character. Same as someone not dating someone b/c they don't have enough money.
Hahaha, this was hilarious, hey, what's with all the buzz about brown eyes?? People who remarked it is because low self esteem, I mean I've got brown eyes myself and i really don't matter the "blah brown", at least I can see, right?? Hey, and sorry if this is an-only-guy-site, I just got redirected. Sorry and PEACE!!
Hi Funny guy,
I think you made a great, funny piece of work! :)
I enjoyed reading it and quite frankly i dont understand the fuss people make about the brown eyes.
Yes brown eyes are common and yes some people may be more interested in green or blue eyes, but its not so much about the colour that matters, its how you use your eyes. What look do you have in your eyes? Is there a spark in your eyes? Can you smile with your eyes? And so on...
I am a browneyed woman myself and im happy with my eyes ;)
Dont feel offended by what he wrote, you can never write something what suits everyone.
And as he is called "Funny Guy" you should probably not take him that serious, just enjoy reading and laugh about it :)
Love,
Iris
It's nice to know that guys notice the eyes before the boobs! I'm also a brown eyed gal. I have been told several times that I have pretty brown eyes. It's all about what attracts the guy you are with. . . brown, blue, green or hazel. By the way, I've been called a lot of names, but never Pushy Patty!
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Get off his dick! You came here because you wanted to know what ten things a guy noticed about a girl. And he list it. Stop taking shit so seriously. If you need someone to tell you that your beautiful because you have browns eyes than your pathetic and insecure.
I think the whole thing about girls have to be perfect barbie dall bigboobs can't have brown eyes . For ex oh she has an awesome personality she's a keeper but I'm gonna because she doesn't e president of the have the foot long boobies she has the itty tity commity boobs its dum that the girl has to be perfect had to change her self because she's a size three not the perfect zero then she never eats just to win the guys what I want in a girls list