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What are the rules for dating a student dating her college professor? And if it's okay..what are some tips to keeps things professional, while seeing if there's an attraction there and if he's interested? (from the student side ;) )

Whether or not he's interested depends on how much he hates his job, because dating students? Awesome way to get fired.

I'm going to take a wild guess here from your phrasing and assume you're in a class he's teaching. If so, forget it. Even if it was OK by your college, in which case you might want to check to see if it's actually accredited, you'd be the girl banging the professor for an A to everyone in the class. Meanwhile, he'd be the scumbag using the student for sex in exchange for grades to all his coworkers. Yeah, people suck.

Even if you're not in his class, though, he could just not be allowed, even if he's interested. While "Hot for Teacher" is a song I've lived my life by, in this particular case, ignore Eddie Van Halen's advice: there's just no way this one's going to end well.

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7 Comments

Bibonoshoes

Not okay. That's the best way to get troubles for both of you.. Him, because as Dan said, it's the best way to get him fired or to ruin his relations w/ other professors and/or students.
You.. for approximately the same reasons.

If you really like him, wait till you're out of college to try anything with him. It'll be best for both of you. And you'll be way more comfortable to live your relationship fully.

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There are no explicit rules/ ethical guidelines that prohibit professors from dating students. Now, if you are currently his student, then that would be an obviouss conflict of interest and should not be pursued. However, if you are not his student, tread lightly. He will likely be apprehensive about it because his reputation could take a serious hit and it is his place of employment, whereas you dont't have much at stake - you will be out of there as soon as you complete your degree requirements.

The best advice I can give is to consider his position and don't put him in any situation that could spell trouble for him. What are you motives? Selfish isn't good in this kind of situation.

Also, do you value being able to have him around for other reasons than physical attraction? Would you be willing to sacrifice that realtionship if a romantic relationship doesn't work.

Things to consider...

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Wait, wait, wait... I thought this was from someone who wanted to date someone who was already in a relationship with her professor. I think you skipped over the word "dating" the first time (the her/he confusion admittedly threw me, but I figure the "s' was left out of "she").
Dude, if a fellow student is already in a relationship with her professor, that is one thing you do not want to get in the middle of. It's complicated enough as it is, and it's gonna bring nothing but a world of trouble. I mean, so you really want to be the other guy, anyway? The good news is that it probably won't last (since it was an awful idea to begin with), and when it ends, you can be there to offer her the support she needs from somebody (presumably) her own age.

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Gosh I miss JDV already....

Dan Seitz

Speaking, for a moment, as a graduate student here, there is in fact a very strict rulebook in place at my school, which is partially due to the fact that so many colleges have

Dan Seitz

Throwing on my hood as a grad student, yeah, my school, at least, has pretty explicit rules on the books. It's all pretty much "Don't even think about it" over and over again, but they are there.

But even if they don't...hoo-boy, it's just not a mess you want to get into. Trust me.

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Professor and student relationship is not working because it is against the law of the school. A role model professor guide their student not to commit relationship with them.

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