My rule on ultimatums is not to give them. Ultimatums are not for the faint of heart. The only time you should give one is if you are truly ready to walk away from the person you are giving one too. Which doesn't seem like the case since you want him back.
For the record, I don't handle ultimatums well. My personality is one of defiance in the face of extreme uses of authority. Perhaps its because I'm Black, I don't know. But when people give me ultimatums I tend to go the way they don't want me to go.
Now, I do have to say that I understand how and why people give ultimatums. Sometimes relationships frustrate you to high hell and it seems like you have to bluntly let somebody know that they risk losing you if they don't straighten up and fly right. But you're also banking on that person viewing you as highly as you view yourself. Even more, you're assuming that this person will realize the "error of their ways" and do what it takes to keep you. That's not always the case. You run a very big risk by dropping an ultimatum on somebody. What you did was bluff...and he called you on it.
I think the only thing that you can do now is let him know that you want him back, and that you made a mistake. However, don't discount whatever it was that pushed you to that point in the first place. Perhaps he has some things he needs to get right so let him know that you both made mistakes and need to communicate and grow together. But the ball is in his court. You cut the tie and now he has to decide if he wants to jump back into the ring with you.
Hope it works out for you.
Don't take him back. You made a decision when you gave that ultimatum. Find someone who will give you what you want.
If he thought that walking was the right decision, it's probably not a good idea to try and get him back. You were hoping to keep him and he took the opportunity to bolt. How would you be able to repair the relationship, knowing that he had the chance to make it better and chose not to??
I am speaking from experience when I say this because the EXACT same thing happened to me. I told my (now) ex that I couldn't continue relationship with him because there were a lot of things he was doing that were making me unhappy. When he decided to ignore my feelings and not try to make things better, I knew it was time for me to let him go.
I know its hard, but if someone really loves and cares for you, they are going to do everything in their power to keep from losing you. They will do whatever they need to do to keep you because they realize that you're worth it. When a guy wants to be with you, you'll know it. And when he doesn't, you'll know.
I asked my ex if she was seeing someone she said no.Then several times she related her intentions to go with a "girlfriend' to nearby hotel resorts and with a "girlfriend" to distant cities,known for hookup only locations.Then she wouldn't introduce me to her "friends.One time her ex appeared to take her from a dinner her and our friends arranged.She later dressed in a miniskirt as I left for the night.She used to date men from the net on the same night that we were to date.Another way she insured that I was not aware of her actions was to constantly ask where I was.When she flaked out on dates with me,she said it was of an invitation from a "girlfriend."
She even had hookups follow us to where we were to part for the night.I have seen bicycle thieves work the same way.
Calling a boyfriend a girlfriend is common today to hide the sex of the other person.
She broke the aggreement that we could focus on each other to see if we have a future.She resisted this agreement by continuing to see others.
In the end she pretended to need some space.
My mistake was seeing a woman who was not willing to focus on us,but was trying to enjoy the attention of several people.It is now said date many,sleep with them,and then decide.There are psychosomatic problems with this approach that many so called experts fail to reveal.Like a doctor who is afraid to be seen as unpopular,and doesn't warn the patient of the consequences