I completely agree. My husband used that quote "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and, that was before he was my husband, so that says a lot. We were friends for a year, and we dated for a year, and after the distance and all the love, and emotions, and feelings, we decided to get married. He was scheduled to go to the Navy before we got married, and we used to spend every waking moment together, and when he signed up, we had no idea what we were in for. The separation and anxiety of not talking for months and not even knowing if he was okay was emotionally jarring. We even contemplated breaking up, but I wanted to make it work and I know anything is possible when you put hard work in to it. And we have had a lot of ups and downs but, the love has never dwindled. The biggest stress is just the distance, I am up north and he is down south but, we use Skype which is awesome and we talk everyday, even if its for 30 mins or sometimes for 3+ hours. And we want to be closer and we want to have kids but, right now, its a little difficult, but we have time, and we definitely have patience, and trust is a big factor as well. I have put a lot of work in to this relationship and he has as well and we just make it work because we know that we are meant to be with each other... even through distance and time.

My boyfriend and I had been seriously dating for about 8 months when I went to Japan for study abroad. Being in a strange new environment while going to school full time was stressful enough, and being in a long-distance relationship was a lot of added pressure. The 14 hour time difference certainly didn't help. We made compromises about when we would each be awake so that we could talk to each other for at least an hour or two every day, and we played WoW together to take some of the pressure off of talking for hours at a time. I absolutely agree about a long-distance relationship eliminating doubt - even though I knew my boyfriend didn't want me to go, he trusted me enough to be faithful to him and he still wanted to be with me, so it made me feel very confident about our relationship. I ended up going home after one semester instead of a year, and I've never been happier than right after I got back and all of a sudden we could be together after months of being apart. I guess he was happy too, because not long after I got back, he proposed. :)

I'm engaged. My fiance left for grad school in a different state about a year ago and we have one more year to go. We make it work by seeing eachother as often as we can, texting all day, calling to say I love you, skyping, but mostly, we TRUST eachother.

We keep honest about saying "Hey, I'm really missing you a lot, this week's been hard." We know it's hard for both of us, and so we help eachother out with it.

Long distance with your best friend (my fiance) isn't fun, but it isn't "hard." It's worth it.

I'm engaged. My fiance left for grad school in a different state about a year ago and we have one more year to go. We make it work by seeing eachother as often as we can, texting all day, calling to say I love you, skyping, but mostly, we TRUST eachother.

We keep honest about saying "Hey, I'm really missing you a lot, this week's been hard." We know it's hard for both of us, and so we help eachother out with it.

Long distance with your best friend (my fiance) isn't fun, but it isn't "hard." It's worth it.

I love your response to this! I've almost only heard negative opinions about long-distance relationships, but I've always felt like you will do anything you have to if you really love each other enough; nothing should break the two of you apart if it doesn't absolutely have to. It wouldn't work out for some people, of course, because it's likely that someone who isn't completely ready to commit would always resent the situation. Anyway, I don't want to be redundant, but thanks again for such a positive and realistic perspective.

I tried the long distance thing with my ex-fiancee with him in Illinois and me in Idaho. Even though we talked and texted EVERY day....

he ended up cheating :(

As part of my bf's career he has to move around alot, so we have been in a long distance relationship for two years. It was extremely hard to begin with, and looking back, at times I don't even know how we pulled through, but the longer you go at it, the easier it becomes.

Long distance can really bring out the worst in you and your partner You really needd to learn to trust your partner, and realise its just as hard for them as it is for you. Sometimes we find ourselves saving up all our arguments until we see each other - and then blast them all out in one go (not recommended, trust me). Additionally - its alot harder to have an argument on the phone, and you don't get the comfort and reassurance of the physical contact when your making up after. The important thing is - you've always got to remind yourself of why you are doing it (because you want to be with that other person). I try to focus on what it was like before we started dating long distance, i say to myself - " we were so good together before the distance - and so - we will be so good after it" I think it is also important to speak to your partner about your future together - set a date for when you both want to be living together in the same country - so that you can see an end in sight and realise the situation is only temporary.

I switched my phone package so that I got a good deal on making international calls and skype has really helped. Sometimes even without realising we just turn skype on, not to have a conversation but just to know the other person is there at the other side. You can watch movies together on skype too (much to the amusement to alot of my friends who are now amazed at my new found geekiness)

In my personal opinion, having a long distance relationship is very special. Compared to other relationships I have had, I spend alot more time communicating with my boyfriend who lives in another country than one that I have had who lived next door. If you want to make it work you can :)

We did the whole long distance relationship thing in pre-internet (read: prehistoric) times. When we started dating, we both knew we'd be in the same physical space for a limited time due to his having signed up for the Air Force and his time to leave drawing nearer by the day. For part of the time he was away he was in Saudi Arabia, and phone time was even less. We did this long distance thing for 2 years before we tied the knot. We both had astronomical phone bills, and it did suck to not be able to hold on to each other at night, but in the end I think it made us realize how committed we each were to one another and making it work. I can't say it was always easy, because it wasn't. But there was trust there, and there still is. In a few days we'll be celebrating our 14th year of marriage.

My boyfriend is in the marines currently in training 5 hours away. I've known him since college as a friend but we only started dating a month and a half before he went away- and 3 weeks of that month was spent on a cross country road trip, so basically 5 out of 6 months have been long distance. its unbelievably difficult for me emotionally, but really at the same time it's easy. contradictory, i know.
it's like you said in your advice, i wouldn't even be in this situation if i had any doubt for my feelings for him. though i'm unsure of my bf's intentions for the future and true feelings for me, i know that at the core our connection is strong if we've come even this far.
the roughest part is that we havent had a chance to go through the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship really. I see him roughly once a month, and try to text or send pictures or skype as much as possible around his rigorous schedule. the toughest part is missing the little things...

My boyfriend and I were four hours apart, him being a year ahead of me, he started college in Daytona and I was still in Georgia for my senior year of high school. We'd just started dating 7 months prior, but we were determined to make it work.

As Nick said, it's hard. It was really hard with him settling in and me having a blast my senior year, sometimes we'd fight just because we wanted to be near each other and it's so easy to mistakenly leave each other hanging.

These days we still don't live in the same city. He still goes to school in Daytona, but I'm at UCF in Orlando and soon he'll be signing on to another school for basketball and we don't know where that will take him. What keeps us going, after 3 1/2 years, is the absolute certainty with which we love each other. Nothing has ever been more important than staying together and it keeps our relationship strong because we are willing to work out any issue as long as it means we will have each other in the end.

So they are worth it, in my opinion, as long as you know that you want to make it work. If you can't imagine being without that person, BUT those feelings MUST be reciprocated with the same intensity or else everything can fall apart.

But it can happen :)

I do ! Me & my boyfriend have been dating for 2 and a half months and we have only got together a few times but as u said we talk over the phone constantly & to tell u the truth I never doubt wether he is being faithful or not.it's like we have such a strong connection that we just get each other and don't need anyone else. Great advice ;) thanks Nick!

My boyfriend and I were together for two years in high school, then I went to college and he joined the marines. After a year of training, he was sent to japan for two years. Since he left, I've seen him once last summer, and I'll see him again next summer when he gets back finally. I miss him very much, and sometimes I wonder if it will be the same when we can finally spend more than a week together after so long apart, but then I think about how much I love him and it all seems worth it, like I'm earning the right to spend the rest of my life with such a wonderful and special person who makes me feel complete and who every moment I'm with him I know I'm loved. So to sum up, Long distance relationships are very hard work, but if it's the right person, nothing could be more worthwhile.

Thanks so much for all the comments everybody they have been so helpful!

I had a long distance relationship that kinda ended because he thinks I doubt a lot on him. We were good at start until one Valentine's Day he went online, he admitted to me that he was with a girlfriend. They spent the night drinking and that they got into oral sex. I was shocked but then he says it was just for relaxing and he doesn't want to lie to me about it. I did forgive him for that. I really like him but then I want to know what you think about this guy. Is he worth it?

PS. I even asked him if we will be together, will he still do it. And he says YES, if I'm not around. Scary...or am I just being conservative?

I had a boyfriend in another country. We hadn't really been together because we started it via chat. We were good at first until one Valentine's day he went online, and he was with a girlfriend. He admitted they were drinking and ended up on oral sex. I was shocked but then he said it was just for relaxation and I forgave him. I even asked him afterwards, if he would still do it if we end up together, and he said YES, if I was not around. I wanna know what you think about this guy. Is he worth it? Or am I just being so conservative?

Sorry, I posted twice...thought the first one didn't send.

Thanks in advance.

Sorry I posted it twice...thought the first one didn't send...

Long distance is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I knew my bf for years before we got together and we were already far distances apart. When it finally happened I found out that a job opportunity (that I had applied for before we got together) was going through. This is a job I'd been wanting for years. It's a two year committment. I accepted and he's been super supportive. Amazing would be a better word.

We had the "are you sure this is what you want" talk early on in the relationship. I pretty much told him that if he was going to break my heart (or I his, to be fair) we should just do it early... luckily that wasn't what happened.

We talk every day either online or by phone for, usually, no less than 30 minutes... more often than not it's more like an hour. I do know there is an end in sight as I will be able to physically live near him once my term is up (just another year and three months). I do get to see him, but not as often as I would like (we're talking maybe 2 times in 5 months) so talking on the phone and on line is HUGE.

We both also try to make sure the other knows that we're thinking of them. I couldn't be with him for Valentine's Day so I sent him a yo-yo... it's a little cheesy (especially considering the mushy note that went along with it), but it's a nice aluminum one and he wanted one he could do serious tricks with (we're both big geeks haha). Conversly, he sent me a Piratology kit from ThinkGeek because he supports my pirate obsession even though he believes ninjas are superior (NOW THAT'S LOVE!).

Either way, it boils down to the fact that it just plain sucks. But knowing that I will get to kiss him and be held by him and cook with him and joke around like an idiot at any point in the near future (I'll be going back for a long visit this summer) makes it worth it. HIM being worth it was never a question. I just make sure that he knows I feel that way.

I agree with what he is saying. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. He lives an hour away from me (I know its not THAT far) but we still only see each other once a month if we're lucky. Mostly once every two months. We have been together for almost 2 years and 1 month. Since we first got together, we have talked on the phone every night til about mid-night. So what he is saying about communication is true because if you only talk to each other every so often you are going to drift apart and he may find someone else. Or you may even find someone else. And there are a lot of bumps in the road, but there are in any relationship. You just have to work harder in a long distance relationship to get over those bumps. And whenever you see each other make the most out of it because you dont get to see each other often. Also try not to hide anything from each other because that can lead to suspicion and trust issues.

Me and my man have been together for a year this month. I moved out of state a couple months ago to try and get my act together and it has def. been hard. Especially if you have trust issues, but we try to talk things out, and we never hold in our feelings. He calls me every morning before he goes to work, and we talk a few times each day, we don't always hold hour long conversations, it might even only be ten minutes but it works! I love him and He loves me, I look at it as a road bump sorta... && I know in the future I'll be able to hold him again...

If you don't know know why you are with the person you are with local or long distance it will not work. Knowing the reasons you are with the person you are with will really help determining if you being in a Long Distance relationship will worth it or not.

My boyfriend and I broke up over a two hour distance. We go to different colleges. It felt like the hardest thing to do, for both of us. We still talked, and were close for a while- but that was three months ago now, and he hasn't said a word to me in two weeks. I feel like I've officially lost him.

i remember being told to never get into a long distance relationship, that they never work out. then i met a guy from England he was here in the USA on vacation, i talked to him for ten minutes and we exchanged emails. that was over two years ago, we were just friends for the first six months then i got really sick and it made him realize how much he really cared for me, we went from being friends to dating in a matter of a month. and now i am happy to say that after a year and a half of only seeing each other for two weeks every three to four months, we are getting married in two months! :)
long distance is hard you have to have a lot of trust in each other. leaving each other kills i think breaking up kills less then leaving someone you love for no reason other than that's when you booked your return flight home.
but there are so many good things with long distance it forces you to just talk, we email every day and tell each other everything. skype is a big help to actually see each other and talk some more is just wonderful. and when you do get time together you cherish it.
i wouldn't recommend a long distance relationship to everyone but if your in love then no amount of distance can stop you.
if you can trust each other and let your love keep you together then if it works out you will know your relationship can withstand anything.
my only advice to anyone wanting to be in a long distance relationship is to take it slow. just letting things happen and not force them.

Well, I fell in love with my best friend when I was just 14 years old, I met him while I lived in England for a year, sadly I had to move back to the states, I absolutely love that guy, he's the sweetest, extremely thoughtful, I just loved him from the very beginning, well we are still madly in love with each other, I started dating other guys here in the states but it just wasn't the same, I cannot seem to love someone as much as him, so we decided to have a long distance relationship, we managed to stay in touch by, letters, skype, msn, facebook etc.after all this years.
I'm about to celebrate my 20th birthday on January and I still love him, we are planning our vacation together in the summer.
I'm on college now, studying architecture and planing my transfer as an exchange student, to be closer to him and be able to see him.

i was recently in turks and caicos for my spring break, i am still a junior in highschool. this one black guy who was working at the resort was really cute and i was really attracted too him. the last night i was there i got a little drunk and hooked up with him.. it was so physical and intense and i loved every second of it. ever since then i have been obsessing over him. crying over him in the shower, just falling for him. he is moving to atlanta in the end of august but that is still 14 hours away from where i live. i was thinking about going to college where he is living so i can be with him. he is also 4 years older then me. i have never felt this way about any guy before. i think about him constantly, i feel sick to my stomach without him and i just miss him all the time. my friend says i should go for it if i truly like him. He says how he wants to make this work and how he has never felt anything so intense in his life when we hooked up, i trust him and he trusts me, and we both want to make this work. Im just so lost and i wish i was still in turks so i could be with him. Im in love with him. Wwhat should i do? Someone please help me

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relation for 3 years now. We love each other very much and we trust each other. It is just the thought that we will never be able to live together that is killing me. I have a job here but he cannot live here. It is not possible for me to go to his place also. So I don't see how one day we can live together. It is like there is no hope to improve our situation.

My story is a little...different than most long distance relationships. Over a year ago i traveled to guadalajara mexico, im from the us, my boyfriend and i met on a bus he was visiting as well but from Colombia. We were both there for a muscis conference. After the day we met we spent the whole trip together ...holding hands and just talking in those 10 short days we fell in love. Once it was time for us to return to our home we couldnt stand being apart. We messaged, used skype sent letters and used bbm on our blackberries. We talk about our futures together all the time, our love is strong. Relationships like this require a lot of trust and faith. If two people care enough anything is possible. This past summer i flew to colombia and spent the whole time there. His family was so welcoming i felt, from the second i got there, that i was home. He was always very protective of me, and such a gentlemen. Holding open doors making sure i wasnt cold, lending me his jacket. He took me everywhere there wasnt a moment we werent together. I loved meeting his family, friends a co-workers. I was so surprised how much they all new about me. Its hard living so far but i know in my heart one day that wont be an issue anymore.

Well i met my boyfriend 3 and a half years ago in Durango Mexico. We were really good friends but after I returned to the U.S, I did not talk to him. This summer, I went back to Mexico. We saw each other after 3 years. I was only there for two weeks but in those 2 weeks we began to feel something for each other. We began to go out but we didn't know if it was going to work out. It has been almost 7 months since we became official. My advice for those who want their long distance relationship to work is that you have to have a lot of communication(texting only is not communication). You also have to have a lot of patience. At first you think it's not worth it but remember that if you love the person, you will never give up. As soon as one person stops trying, the relationship is at risk. Distance could be big, but love is bigger. 8)