No. You should move on. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he ain't coming back. He said he needs more "experience in life," because he does, in fact, need more life experience. Because he's 20. He needs to actually experience life as you did, make mistakes, and learn from them. You set him off on his life path, and now you have to let him go.
There's a huge age difference between 38 and 20. If he was 30 and you were 48, it might a different story. You are at completely different places in your life. You know this. When you were his age, Boyz II Men was all over the radio. Remember how confused you were at 20? What would you have done if you were dating a 38-year-old at the time? Wouldn't you have wanted to see what else was out there?
Sure, he could come back at some point because he misses you, but it wouldn't be forever. He's young, and you were his first. He's probably attached to you in a way. But it's good that he ended things. Ultimately, it's not a healthy relationship for either of you. Why do you want him back? 20-year-olds aren't exactly the best at commitment. You're still learning about relationships when you're 20. Most 20-year-olds aren't mature enough for a relationship with someone their own age, let alone someone in their late thirties who's looking to settle down. I'm not trying to be harsh. You just need to be realistic here.
I am sorry you are heartbroken. Be happy that he cares for you, and that you impacted his life in a positive way. Now you have to let him go be a 20-year-old. And you need to focus on dating people in your general age bracket. Otherwise, you're in for a lot of heartbreak. At the very least, aim for a guy who can get into a bar without using a fake ID.
There's a huge age difference between 38 and 20. If he was 30 and you were 48, it might a different story. You are at completely different places in your life. You know this. When you were his age, Boyz II Men was all over the radio. Remember how confused you were at 20? What would you have done if you were dating a 38-year-old at the time? Wouldn't you have wanted to see what else was out there?
Sure, he could come back at some point because he misses you, but it wouldn't be forever. He's young, and you were his first. He's probably attached to you in a way. But it's good that he ended things. Ultimately, it's not a healthy relationship for either of you. Why do you want him back? 20-year-olds aren't exactly the best at commitment. You're still learning about relationships when you're 20. Most 20-year-olds aren't mature enough for a relationship with someone their own age, let alone someone in their late thirties who's looking to settle down. I'm not trying to be harsh. You just need to be realistic here.
I am sorry you are heartbroken. Be happy that he cares for you, and that you impacted his life in a positive way. Now you have to let him go be a 20-year-old. And you need to focus on dating people in your general age bracket. Otherwise, you're in for a lot of heartbreak. At the very least, aim for a guy who can get into a bar without using a fake ID.
Put the baby down mam....
...good, now slowly step away from the cradle.
Do the math you were 18 and just able to fly with your 'adult' wings when he was born. Had it just been a matter of a few years instead that'd be one thing, but it's 18 years and that can impact a relationship with anyone that much younger than you. There's not much to relate to eachother other than maybe music but his generation will be calling it 'classic' while you heard it when it was the 'in' and 'hip' thing to listen to.
I'm not bashing or anything on people who do happen to find a partner with such age diffrences but at the same time they are harder to keep going. I watched one of my old babysitters go marry a 48 yo when she was just 24 herself and that fell apart in a bad way. I do think that because you were his first it may have opened his eyes that there's a world out there and he wants to try it out, maybe even do some of the same silly kind of things you told him about. Let him explore the world and be his supporting friend through it all and he'll be very happy that you are there.
But like I say the 18 years of difference can be the biggest downfall for you to win him back at all, but so long as you're there as a friend you will also get to share in his excitement about new things he's done.
I know this is going to piss a lot of people off, but at 20, you don't know what you want. Even if you think you do. Maturity takes time. Some need more time than others. I know I didn't know what I wanted at 20, and most everyone I knew were in the same boat. Ten years later, I have a better idea.
Jude, I don't think you're going to piss people off... because you're RIGHT! You don't even know who you are at age 20, much less what you really want in life. You're absolutely correct!
God I'm 20 and i can only date older men. Guys age 20 are just trying to figure out how to make a dish other than pasta or top ramen. I think its more of guys who are behind ladies in maturity if you ask me- dont lump us ladies in the "20 and immature group"!
I don't mean to imply that you're immature. I've known very mature 20 year olds and very immature older people. But in general, 20-somethings are still finding themselves, finding their niche if you will, going to college, etc. There's nothing wrong with that. The only problem comes when the older person they're dating wants different things (ie. marriage, family, different interests, etc) and the younger person feels trapped or disillusioned.
It can work. Look at Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. But in general, it's better to see people who are at the same place in their lives. Otherwise there's a risk one person will have significantly more power than the other, and things can get out of hand real quick.
Good gosh honey what are you doing w/ this boy? He JUST got out of his teens and you're about to push 40! My advice would be to let this guy go and opt for a more mature MAN. Why would you want a guy in his 20s anyway?! You are probably far too mature for this kid - emotionally, mentally and obviously physically.
Find someone your own age. There are tons of dudes out there!