It should be simple? Says who? Love is never simple. Relationships are complicated. You're being too hard on yourself.
A breakup is a loss, and a loss must be grieved. It might not be as catastrophic as the death of a loved one, but it's a loss just the same, and requires a process of resolution. I call it grieving, but since that word for some tends to conjure up images of uncontrollable sobbing and sackcloth-wearing--not what I mean--feel free to call it "coming to terms" or "dealing with it" or whatever you want.
As I've said here before, everyone grieves in his or her own time; some get over loss more quickly than others. There's no deadline, no "normal" length of time, no "should" about it. People seem to think they can control their grief and set aside a block of time on the calendar, after which they will be completely over it and magically okay, but that's not how it works, believe me. I speak from experience.
Grief works on its own timetable, and you just have to roll with it. That doesn't mean you should wallow in sadness or be passive in your own healing. It means you can expect the process to take time. Then one day, as poet James Russell Lowell puts it, "Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how."
So, to answer your question, how do you get over him?
1. Give it time.
2. Cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to grieve.
3. Voice your hurt--to friends, to family, to a therapist, in a journal. Get it out of your system.
4. Get right back on the horse, i.e. start dating again. Meeting someone new is a great way to get over someone old.
Good luck.
Anyone who went through a break-up will say that you are absolutly right .. allow me to be the first.. :)
I've never been with him in the first place but really, really wish I were. We've hung out and we see each other and we're friends, but he's never asked me out or indicated anything that would lead me to believe he likes me as more than a friend... how do I get over him?
Same thing. You definately need to move on, start looking at other guys, don't get stuck on someone who won't love you back because you are just going to waste your time.
I wish I could too. There is a guy I adore, but he is taken and neither he nor I are the cheating kind. But its so hard, I see them together and Im all alone and though there are a couple guys who are interested in me I have no interest in them. (And would not be even if my friend were not around). I wish I could find someone new, but its been so long, my feelings for him do not change and no one else is there for me.
Maybe you should stop hanging around the guy. The less you see him slowly the better you will feel. You know that he's taken so just keep telling yourself that. Say it enough to make yourself believe that he will never be yours. You're probably living with the hope that someday he will dump his gf and be with you.
Find someone better. Because there always always is. If you broke up, then that means that there's some deep shit wrong, and that someone else won't treat you the way he did, or you would treat someone else better.
No 4 on this list is excellent, excellent advice!!
Time, like Cary said. You have to give yourself time.