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What do guys think about a girl who plays the piano?

Usually that she has, strong, dexterous hands and can liven up any party, provided there's a very particular thousand-pound piece of specialized equipment on the premises. Both of those things are awesome, as is any musical ability, but I'd say you can get even more mileage by making sure you know how to play a few, universally guy-beloved songs.

Don't Stop Believin', by Journey: Because there's no tale of love quite like that of a small town girl and a city boy taking a midnight train to a--ny--wherrrrrre. See, I'm already compulsively singing along, AND I have the beginnings of a formidable erection (although to be fair I just woke up, and I was dreaming about singing "Don't Stop Believin'").

Piano Man, by Billie Joel (played ironically): If you can really nail the "I just learned this to play as a joke at parties" aspect of performance, you can't go wrong. Throw in the occasional line from Weird Al's version, or just mumble your way through it and toss in "air quotes" whenever your fingers aren't occupied.

Songs That Would Normally Be On A Guitar: The novelty of hearing Oasis songs that some douchebag would normally play on his acoustic guitar in a transparent attempt to pick up chicks played by a girl on the piano in a transparent attempt to pick up guys never wears off.

The Grand Galop Chromatique, by Franz Liszt: Because honestly, if you can play this while drunk at a party, I will do anything you say. I will kill people for you; whatever you want.

Ducktales, Opening Theme: Transport your listeners back to a simpler time, when there was a stranger out to find you and d-d-danger just behind you. If playing this doesn't lead to an hour of good times and reminiscences, then I don't understand humanity.

Anything by Ben Folds: Fairly simple to learn, indie enough to have some street cred, and will get all the intellectual types thinking of you as a deep, yet spirited rocker chick. The same could be said for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but they compose less on piano and more on bourbon.

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10 Comments

user-pic

*Goes to look for Don't Stop Believin' chords*

That video was awesome. I have a theory that people who write those insane fast pieces are masochists (or sadists), because- have you ever tried to play something like that? My hands and forearms seize up after about 40 seconds. Maybe I need to try playing drunk.

user-pic

Great! Now I have the Ducktales theme tune stuck in my head.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Launchpad McQuack: Best. Cartoon. Name. Ever!

Guy Noir, PI

Ducktales theme is a good call, but you left out the Snoopy song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbiYFA0-8mU

bookwormgrrl

The Grand Galop Chromatique, by Franz Liszt: Because honestly, if you can play this while drunk at a party, I will do anything you say. I will kill people for you; whatever you want.

I just spit coffee on my computer screen... I agree... if you can play this drunk, man or woman... I'D go home with you too!

banovism

Wow, when did you become such a hipster, Swaim? Enjoying Billy Joel ironically is uncalled for. I recommend reading Chuck Klosterman's, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs," for some perspective.

Didn't you make fun of the constant nostalgia whoring of College Humor in the Those Aren't Muskets! Internet Intervention?

Perhaps you're just trying for broad appeal in this piece of advice by recommending current trends?

Michael Swaim

I believe you will find "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" to be, hands down, the most hipster-ish reference on this page.

banovism

Touché, sir.

Fallon

Don't Stop Believin' is my favorite song ever. Michael you were already one of my top internet comedians of all time, and now you are slowly but surely taking a machete to the knees of your competitors. Your Journey reference has made you rise at least 5 badass points in my estimation.

user-pic

F@#$! That chick on the piano sure has a set of digits!
I think I would be afraid to talk to her. One false move and she would be tying me into the piano, banging my head with the hammers!
Some of those performers have their heads pretty far up their asses anyway.

user-pic

What a lovely day for a 4316770! SCK was here

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