This is a common and recurrent situation when it comes to l'amour. No matter who you are, at some point in your life you will want somebody you just cannot have due to circumstance, timing, location, or Kanye West.
Anyway, what you do is all dependent on how risk averse you are.
Sidenote: Panama does not condone homewrecking, however, he does believe in love and all that comes with it. Love can be messy. It's kind of like making a red velvet cake. It looks like a hot red mess until you add the icing and then its all pretty. That was stupid. Thank you.
You see, you're playing with fire. There are two options here. You can either approach your crush or just let it ride. Of course, letting it ride is the safe option - nobody gets hurt - but approaching your crush is the one with the biggest reward. Except there are two possible outcomes.
1) You approach the crush, make your feelings known, and he drops that zero and gets with the hero (you). This is what you want except you need to realize that if dude will drop his girlfriend for you, it's likely that he would do the same to you if a better opportunity approaches.
2) You approach and he says thanks, and possibly flirts and fondles you, but nothing comes of it, but at least you got it off your chest. Thing is, you better hope his girlfriend doesn't find out because that could be bad business.
Either way, choose your own adventure.
It was written.
Panama answers like this are why you are a girl's BFF!!!
If OP does decide to approach her crush, she needs to decide which outcome she is willing to live with. And I agree that if he leaves her for you he will most likely leave you for ?????
In her case I vote for let it ride.......he might not be w/ the GF in a couple of months. If you still feel the same way and you are not in a relationship, this would be the time to approach him.
My story - 20 yrs ago I approached my crush.....at a time that he was 2 weeks into dating someone exclusively. I was clueless on this point and since neither one of us was into seeing people on the side we agreed that we'd only be friends.
Last July we reconnected on FB and have been chatting since. Conversatins between us have been great and I realized that I still feel the same way about him after all this time! a couple of days ago I took that leap of faith and sent him a message. Told him how I felt and that if I was out of line to tell me.
He conatacted me for a chat today and we basically picked up where we left off last week! Looks like I might have a shot at this after all.
Having patience and waiting for the right time might be the right coure of action for the OP too!
Aww, thanks ma'am. I'm just doing my job. And you're right. Patience is a virtue is a famous quote (and I'm fairly sure its in the Bible...or at least a really good book somewhere) for a reason.
I would advocate just being friends with your crush and then if they ever break up with current girl you can jump in. I have lots of friends that I would potentially date but either a) I was in a relationship at the time, or b) they were in a relationship at the time. Timing is rarely if ever good. But, you keep them as friends, and who knows what can happen later down the line. Also, it gives you the added benefit of learning more about them and their personality, and you may find after knowing them for a few months, that you really don't think they'd be a good boyfriend.
I met a guy a year and a half ago on a weekend trip when I was in a relationship with his friend's friend. It was just instant chemistry (I'll spare the details), but it was also tinged with sorrow as I had a serious boyfriend and he was married. I got to hang out with him among all of our friends for two days (well, really only the nights when he joined my BF + friend for drinks). Anyhow, we became FB friends and played this online game a bit together, for a few months at first anyhow. Then we switched to just FB. I never spoke of my feelings, and he has never said anything (though if my gut is telling the truth, he has them). I have no intention of ever putting a wedge in his marriage or anything, as that's not the moral/honorable thing to do. I am mostly sure they will remain together for life. However, if she should ever be silly and leave him, I will be on that shit so fast that it will fundamentally change space travel as we know it because the speed of light will have been broken.
OK, enough with the anecdotes. Anyhow, there are 6+ billion people on the planet. I don't believe you go through life only meeting one soulmate. So, like BFF said, it's common and recurrent... married/taken people fall in love with people they are not married to, and we fall in love with married/taken people, that is a given in life... it's about the choices we make. that you make. Do you want to be the person who breaks up a relationship? That's really the question, and only you can answer it. :-)
i need a sexy girlfreand and fast
I agree with anonymous writer. I think that the girl should be her crush's friend. And if her crush brakes up, THEN she can step in. Also, if the girl waits and help her crush pick-up the pieces, then that could bring her and her crush closer than they would have been if she had tried to brake them up.
Kanye West lol.
Panama, you have done it again.
Thanks!
thank you for your help now i now if my crush fall in love to me
i hope my crush would do that but his girlfriend is beautiful with shiny straight blonde hair and she is tiny and my crush is smaller than me and... i just like him so much!!!but it's a tough life in middle school!!!:(
well im not sure how to handle this. my crush (and my BESTEST guy frend) broke up with his girlfriend about 3 weeks ago. my friend urged me to tell him how i felt about him so i did. then he said he felt the same way and that if he werent in such a slump about hix ex he would love to date me. later the following week i gave him a note asking him out (i just couldnt ask him out in person) on a friday, so he could think about it over the weekend and get back to me on monday. so on monday iwas talking with one of my friends who said that she saw him with the ex-girlfriend on friday. a small conversation with him told me they did get back together. he apolgized about it and hoped we could still be friends. i said yeah, but im still feeling something with him. and another part of the maze is that over the summer he dated my friend and she doesnt want me to date him, but like i said before, hes my BEST guy friend. i tell him things i dont even tell my best girl friends. so if he asks, do i date him? and if yes, how long do i wait before its probably not going to happen?