What do you do? You file for divorce immediately. Right? And maybe sue for emotional distress and abuse.
Let me see if I get this straight:
-- He takes out his weight issues on you, to a point that sounds controlling and borderline psychotic.
-- He accepts a job halfway across the country out of nowhere without discussing it with you first.
-- You lack the same spiritual beliefs, a fact that he uses to blame you for the dissolution of your marriage instead of actually addressing his own issues or being supportive of your beliefs.
-- He blames his decision to move halfway across the country--something which would put a huge strain on any marriage--entirely on you.
Just one of these things would be grounds for divorce. Put together, it's a perfect storm of awful. This is not someone who loves or respects you-- it's a guy who wants out of his marriage and is going about it in the worst, most self-serving way possible. He literally accepted a job out of state and told you about it a day before leaving? That is...wow. There are no words for a person like that. Well, there are two: "Raving lunatic." Also, "colossal trollmonkey assclown."
Why not beat him to the inevitable and call it quits? Don't wait for him to mail you divorce papers from another state. Stop putting up with this and leave him. It will boost the self-respect that he has slowly chipped away at. It's clear that he's done some serious damage to your confidence if you're even remotely considering staying with him after everything he's done. Get a good divorce lawyer, and talk to a therapist if you can about the emotional abuse you've endured. Please do not stay with this guy. Take care, and let us know how it goes.
Let me see if I get this straight:
-- He takes out his weight issues on you, to a point that sounds controlling and borderline psychotic.
-- He accepts a job halfway across the country out of nowhere without discussing it with you first.
-- You lack the same spiritual beliefs, a fact that he uses to blame you for the dissolution of your marriage instead of actually addressing his own issues or being supportive of your beliefs.
-- He blames his decision to move halfway across the country--something which would put a huge strain on any marriage--entirely on you.
Just one of these things would be grounds for divorce. Put together, it's a perfect storm of awful. This is not someone who loves or respects you-- it's a guy who wants out of his marriage and is going about it in the worst, most self-serving way possible. He literally accepted a job out of state and told you about it a day before leaving? That is...wow. There are no words for a person like that. Well, there are two: "Raving lunatic." Also, "colossal trollmonkey assclown."
Why not beat him to the inevitable and call it quits? Don't wait for him to mail you divorce papers from another state. Stop putting up with this and leave him. It will boost the self-respect that he has slowly chipped away at. It's clear that he's done some serious damage to your confidence if you're even remotely considering staying with him after everything he's done. Get a good divorce lawyer, and talk to a therapist if you can about the emotional abuse you've endured. Please do not stay with this guy. Take care, and let us know how it goes.
Dude...I dated a guy who was the clone of this douche... note, I DATED him. Enough said..
Well not really, :( I'm sorry this is happening.. But someone who goes out of his way to blame you , has his own freggin short comings.. This really has nothing to do with you at all. Please stand up for yourself, because if you don't you'll regret not having done it sooner.
Also, I think you deserve someone who loves you .. as is..
I would like to let you all know how it's going 5 months later after posting this question.
First, I wanted to let you know that your words did hit home for me, and it was straight to the point. So I thank you for your time to put advice together. I got a collection of similar advice from friends and family alike.
I am officially divorced, and untangling my life from him, and ex family. They call, email, text and spew negativity like there's no end. I've changed phone numbers, etc, but somehow he finds my new number, even unlisted.
The "let's be friends" piece only works out in ex husband's favor, as he demands for personal belongings after the fact, asks for money, didn't pay any of the divorce fees, including his own respondent fee, as a chance to get more money out of me. I did an equitable deviation in assets and debt, and he signed for it, and even though everything is over, now he's fighting, that everything is unfair. Boohoo... Life is unfair. He had something priceless, and took advantage of it, and it's over.
I'm working on getting my life back together, and hanging out more socially. I know that one of these days there will be a glimmer of a spark, a connection between me and someone else who can respect me for who I am, and whom I can respect for who they are.