I don't believe in "the one." That would make the odds of falling in love ridiculously high. There are six billion people on the planet and how many have you met in your lifetime? A few thousand at the most? That there is just "one" person out there is a cruel myth.
But I do believe that love is a crapshoot..
True love is what happens when two people with combustible chemistry meet at just the right time in their life. Those few fleeting moments when you're heart is open for business. The doors are wide open, and there's a gorilla dressed like butler standing outside wearing a sandwich board that reads "Come on in!" You see, most people fear the idea of suffering, which is generally worse than the suffering itself. So they string barbed-wire around their heart. Surround it with a moat full of bears that vomit rattlesnakes or hide it in the storm cellar of their soul.
Timing is everything. Sometimes, you rent your heart out to a perfectly nice person, and then you meet someone who boils your kettle. Other times, your hearts been deflated and a person who could jumpstart your nerve endings strolls by while you desperately work a pump. Timing is so important.
You have two choices: accept that there are probably multiple people in the universe who frost your cupcake, and then accept that you can be with only one of them. I don't know why the time is "monumentally" bad, but I'm guessing either you're both currently involved. So, yeah. I mean, if he's licking his wounds from a prior relationship, then quietly wait a while. If the connection is that strong, a little time will do nothing to dampen that charge. If you just got out of a relationship, then be patient with yourself.
If either of you aren't in relationships or tending to bruised hearts, then jump on that pony.
Otherwise, at least you met one of "the ones." Which is proof that the universe is lousy with love.
To make it even more complicated, what makes someone The One changes over time. The One at 20 might not even garner a second glance at 35. Hopefully you're not the same person at 40 that you were at 20.
I met my current husband when I was 25. We worked at the same place and had the same work buddies. I thought he was cute in a quirky way but rather odd (think Sheldon in Big Bang Theory only better socialized). I didn't fall for him. He was single but I was married with a toddler.
Fast forward 25 years. I had recently divorced and happened to see him on Match.com in the next city over. Thought it would be fun to meet and reminisce. We did, and something happened.
If someone had tried to tell my at age 25 that he was The One I would have laughed my ass off. Strange but true.
I totally agree! I think this "the one" mentality can really screw up the way we view the opposite sex.We sometimes let it become a relationship filter,and while theres nothing wrong with knowing what you want in a partner,we shouldn't let it prevent us from making connections with people we wouldn't usually give a second glance to.Oftentimes these are the people that enrich our lives and help us to realize what we really want and need.
"So they string barbed-wire around their heart. Surround it with a moat full of bears that vomit rattlesnakes"
..oh.. so that's what I forgot to add before I met my boyfriend.. The bears that vomit rattlesnakes. Oh well. I'm glad I forgot =D
I, too, am going through the same ordeal. Sparks from the beginning on both sides, horrible timing. He just got out of a marriage to a horrible woman. i dont believe in the *the one* as much as he is the one that i want to try and spend my good years with. Long story short, we have been seeing each other for about 6 months. Just be patient and see if you guys can figure out a way to get through the timing issue. It will definitely be slow going.
Well, I believe in JDV's answers. I think that this case happens (happening to me now) and we just have to accept it and be patient on what will happen next. Thanks John.
You say to hell with it and take the plunge ... timing is the myth, not "the one" ... when you have found "the one" you will ruin it by putting it off ... let nature take control and if it does not work long term, it was not the timing, it was your (or their) heart ... trust me ... just went through it and the "timing was bad" ...