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What does it mean if a guy keeps your underwear?

If a guy keeps my underwear, it means he's about to get his ass kicked. Don't be stealing my drawers, bitch--that shit's expensive and you're creepin' me out.

If he keeps your underwear, I can only guess at a few possible reasons, since I've never known any guy who kept a girl's underwear, myself included:

- He wants to wear them.

- He wants to sniff them.

- He wants to use them as a, um, masturbation aid. (Hey, you asked.)

- He's keeping them as a trophy, like a serial killer.

- He wants to sell them on eBay.

- He wants to take them to school and charge other boys money to see them.

Are you sure you didn't just leave them in his car or at the frat house? If he has them, he probably doesn't realize it. I've heard people complain of having their underwear stolen before, but you're not 90 and you don't live in a nursing home. Do you?

Maybe he ate them.

Have you alerted the authorities?

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3 Comments

Daisy

"Have you alerted the authorities?" made me laugh out loud, but then I really lost it when I read the "I feel pretty so so pretty" tag. HA! :-D

Very funny post, Cary.

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lol! Cary you're hilarious but on another note...sweetie you're not the only one! My ex boyfriend used to have a thing about keeping my underwear too...i never understtod it. He even begged to do my laundry and if I didnt let him, he got upset...needless to say we're over now and i've collected back as much of it as I could....

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well currently i have a bf who has ex...i can only assume its ex gfs underwars in a drawer. actally its in a drwar under two furthr drawer full of *ahem* adult mags.

well anyways i wasnt snooping and i hope tere was only 4 pairs as thats all i managed to rescue from my dog who strangely had a thing for dirty knickers never clean ones.

i dont think i'd mind so much if these personal "assets" were clean but there not so EWWW i had to rescue some other girls dirty knickers from my dog.

only thing i can be glad about is all were much bigger than i wear.

but it does worry me a bit. looking up stff on th net sems to say that a lot of mean hav this ting for dirty girls knickers and keeping them for masturbation purposes

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