I say rub some dirt on it and get back in the game.
You got hurt. I'm sorry. It sucks, I know, because I've been there. Good god have I been there. We all have, every single one of us. Rejection and heartache are universal. There's a name for that: life.
So we lose someone and it hurts and we grieve for a while because grief is an agonizingly slow process. It might take a year or even two, but not five. At five years it's no longer grief, but a big ol' pity party where you're not only the host but the guest of honor, too. I can say that because I've thrown a few of my own over the years, so don't be offended.
Now you have a choice: sit at home feeling scared and sorry for yourself while life passes you by, or get back on the horse that threw you and show the f**ker who's boss. By avoiding further heartbreak you guarantee that your love life will never be any worse than it is right now. But it will also never be any better. If you're okay with that, fine. If you never want to date again, fine. Not everyone has to have a mate to be happy.
But if you do want to find love -- and I don't think you would've asked the question if you didn't -- you have to suck it up and get back out there and start living again. I can't tell you that you won't get hurt again. In fact, you probably will. Such is life. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? With each failed relationship we grow, we become wiser, and we learn something about ourselves, so it's not really a failure at all. Just practice runs.
The choice is yours: live or rot. Be brave or be alone (and risk becoming the crazy cat lady on your block). You might find true love tomorrow, or you might find it 20 years from now, but you sure as shit won't find it at home under a fleece throw eating Double Stuf Oreos and watching True Blood and America's Next Top Model. So pull up your knickers, brush your teeth, open the curtains and start living again. I think you'll find it's not nearly as scary out there as you think.
Good luck.
In the words of the ever wise Auntie Mame "You've got to live! Live! Live! Life is a banquet and most poor souls are starving to death!"
You will get hurt. We ALL do. It's apart of life. Ever heard that phrase what does not kill you makes you stronger? It's true. You got hurt. Obviously you are still alive enough to type. So now you are stronger. Fix your hair and open your heart Chakra for the love of Liza.
Could not be a better answer. You're the best.
Yes, get back out there and risk getting hurt. That's what life is, and it's awesome. Even with the hurt! You take that bad with the good and the good is sooo worth it. Get out there!
COMPLETELY AGREE!! Daddy always says the best things come out of life when you live it unafraid of looking like a fool.You can never win if youre too afraid to loose.GOOD LUCK GIRLIE!!
Very true, Cary.
The one point I might add is that there may be something awful that happened that has taken these several years to come to terms with. Undoubtedly, there were issues in the relationship that came from him as well as her. Since she has had 5 years to work through what 'went wrong,' I hope she has considered how she will work to not let those same pitfalls occur again.
Getting back on the proverbial horse will only work if you go through the whole process of learning from your failed relationship. And, taking too much unresolved baggage into a new relationship will likely find you hurt again.
So, yes, get back into the game! Just get your head on straight and try to avoid the same mistakes that were made before. Good luck.
Yes, give it another try. Take it slow and don't rush into a big, heavy commitment with anyone, though. Love takes time to develop, so be patient. You may not find it right out of the gate. Remember to learn from past mistakes so you don't repeat them too. Sitting at home and dreaming about maybe meeting someone someday isn't going to make it happen. Don't dream your life away!
Love can come to you when your not even looking :) Its the human experience. Live your life without fear!!
Once again, ya' put the "wise" in "Wise Ass." Nicely done, my friend.
That must have been some heartbreak to sideline her for 5 years, which is very sad, but Cary is right - anything worth having is worth taking a risk and working for. Love is worth the risk.
I wish you the best of luck in finding someone to share your Oreos!
If I can't find love under fleece, how about a Snuggie?
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