Im not hating, BUT Dont do it. Men initiate, women respond.

Let him lead. Because it works out that way. When a woman leads, it always messes things up. Let him be the man, dont make his decisions for him. He needs to come to turns with that himself.

Just be positive, and if hes not initiating marriage, just kind of give him space (pull back). Trust me, when you do that, he'll be shopping for a ring because he will realize hes losing you and he'll act.

Judge a man on his actions and efforts. Let him propose.

I gotta agree with Moe. While men say they appreciate a woman taking initiative they really don't. I don't know if it is biological wiring but each time I have "helped" a guy out by initiating it never goes well.

The only exception would be if you are primarily the male enegry in the relationship and he is the female energy, then it would work out. Good luck.

See, I need to disagree. By what Moe said, it sounds like a game. (pulling away; testing him to see if he notices) If you're in that serious of a relationship that you want to get married, games should not be played. (In my opinion)

Maybe instead of literally proposing, just sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know you want to get married, and see how he feels to the idea. Make it more of a discussion than a proposal.

For some reason, men need to come to the realization they want to be with you themselves. If you push it in any way, they don't know what they want. They expend less effort in the long run.

It means so much more when they propose. To you and to him...

I dont necessarily think the "pulling back" that moe was referrring to is playing games. Like SWSNBN mentions, sometimes men need to figure things out on their own and sometimes giving space is not a bad idea.

I do agree that talking about it is the best way to go first. If he's still indecisive about it, it really boils down to how much you want to move forward with this relationship. I'm not a big fan of the idea of female proposals either, but that's not to say it won't work?

A friend of mine proposed to her husband, and while they've had their ups and downs, their marriage is overall happy. However, and this is a big "however," they had discussed the possibility of marriage already before she proposed. She didn't go in cold not knowing for sure what to expect. I am firmly of the belief that a couple should discuss whether they're ready for marriage and what they'd want a potential marriage dynamic to look like before anybody goes ring shopping.

Not a response to the OP, more to some of the comments. If talk about marriage scares someone or has some negative effect, then that person is not ready for marriage.

Don't do it. I did and he accepted because he didn't want to lose me. We're divorced now because he wasn't ready to settle down and ended up cheating. I agree with the other posters. He needs to want to be with you on his own timeline. Women are always ready for the next step and we tend to rush things and pay the price later. Communicate your needs and give him space to decide if he can meet them or not. If he's not ready for marriage, you'll know and can make a decision.

Hey everyone! Thanks for your responses to my question and thanks Nick for answering it so quickly- you rock! So... I bought the ring today, but need to think a lot more about what I'm gonna say. Maybe a proposal is too much and it should be more like a promise ring? I typically love how laid back he is about everything, but I feel like I've gotta say something or I will forever regret not taking the chance. I'm aiming for sometime around New Year's, so for better or worse, it's on! Thank you all so much for your thoughts... I'll let you know how it all works out! xo

I can't remember where I read/heard this, but it was something along the lines of, "Most women grow up dreaming about their wedding, and men grow up thinking about the proposal."

Now, perhaps your man is very interested in planning a wedding, in which case, feel free to propose! But even though you may be against the "traditions", chances are he has at least thought about a proposal and how he'll go about it, when the time comes (even if it's not necessarily with you).

Do you think perhaps he would feel bad if you proposed to him when he's grown up in a society where it is traditionally the men who propose? Perhaps he's not ready to marry you, but he's still somewhat excited about the prospect of getting to propose to someone. Yes?

These are just a couple of things to keep in mind. But in any case, best of luck to you and your (possibly) future fiancé!

Thanks, Lindsey! You've made lots of good points- things that I hadn't thought about. I think that what I will end up doing is having a conversation with him and really trying to figure out where he is at with this whole thing and have the ring on hand, but maybe just see where the chat goes. Ahh, I was hoping to get a definitive answer either way just for my own peace of mind, but maybe relationships just aren't like that? Thanks for the advice! xo