Well, first off I wouldn't compare yourself to reality TV. The show, which claims to celebrate celibacy, is of course going to show the most awkward, extreme versions of adult virgins because it makes good television. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 30, and certainly there's nothing wrong with being one at 25 either.
That said, while the newlyweds in the commercial for the show are virgins, that doesn't mean they have to be such freakish kissers. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep your virginity until your wedding night, there's no reason why you can't kiss get physically comfortable with the person you're planning to spend the rest of your life with. Watch the kiss-- they look like two fish sucking food from each others' mouths. You can almost hear the TLC camera crew offscreen shouting "ratings goldmine!"
As for the virginity issue, the right time to lose your virginity is when you're ready. Not when your friends, movies or some reality show tells you when. You will know when the time is right, and you will (hopefully) be with someone who will be understanding and patient and feel as strongly for you as you do for then. You are right on the money -- it will happen when you're in love. Sometimes that takes a time to find. And you'll be better emotionally equipped to handle it than you were when you were 16 or 17 or 18 or 19 or 20 or whenever society thinks the "average" person loses their virginity. The truth is that everyone has their own pace. It's not a race, and the worst thing you can do is lose it before your ready.
Also remember -- people make a big deal about their first time, but losing your virginity is just the beginning. Great sex -- and real connection-- comes afterwards.
I love your answer, GC! I feel that society and especially the media has put too much pressure on losing virginity and that it is awkward if it isn't lost by X age. Life your life how YOU want to, not how society dictates you should.
I took my time and I lost my virginity at 25 with someone I love. I don't think I would have had it any other way.
So true...I'm 22 and still a virgin and PROUD
I'm a virgin and 24. Most people can't believe I'm a virgin because of course virgins are ugly, freakish people who can't have sex because no one will have them. I've learnt that those people are small-minded and anyone who wants to capitolize on people by making them look like sex-starved freaks probably has deep rooted insecurities anyway. I will lose my virginity, ideally on my wedding night- but definitely when I'm in love. I'm all for waiting until you're ready. There were a few people I considered having sex with that retrospectively I am SO glad I didn't.
I watched the show, more out of boredom than curiosity, and found the 35 year old male virgin with the glasses to be one sexy man. All different kinds of people can remain virgins later in life for many reasons. A lot of people I know wish they had waited longer, luckily I have no regrets. I would hate to think that a reality show makes you feel less than ok with your decision. It's your body and your choice, I think you're a really strong person for not caving to pressure if you weren't comfortable.
I'm 25 and still a virgin. There are several reasons why I'm at the point I'm at (none of which has to do with wanting to be a virgin when I get married). I've recently started dating a wonderful guy. After having what was, for me, a super awkward conversation about my V-card status, he has been nothing but supportive. He's totally okay with going at my speed and letting me get comfortable with getting more physical. It took a while to find a guy like this, but I couldn't feel luckier. There are genuinely good men out there. You'll certainly find one who understands and doesn't treat you differently because of it.
That said, the Virgin Diaries does make me feel a little abnormal. But, I wasn't ready to have sex before (still not quite there), and I don't think I should need to feel ashamed at my lack of experience. However, I have to remind myself the show doesn't come close to representing other adult virgins I know -- we curse, we drink, we stay out late. We just haven't hit a home run yet :-)
I saw this show out of pure boredom also and slight curiosity. I hated how they showed virgins, as I'm a 25 y/o virgin and I don't think I'm THAT awkward as they showed. It's all ratings and you gotta be ready when you're ready. And find that guy who is willing to take the time with you also and not pressure you into something.
I never thought that it was a representation of ALL virgins. I think, though, that TLC found a ton of awkward people who happened to be virgins.
I think, or at least hope, that most non-virgins are supportive of whatever decisions holders of the V card make. After all, we used to be virgins too!
I haven't watched it yet, and I'm proud to say I'm also one. (Despite a traumatic experiance when I was 23)
Right on, I'm a 25 y/o virgin as well. I've been in several relationships, but that level of love, attraction and trust has to be there to want to take it to that level, and that just hasn't happened yet. I know how awkward it can be to tell someone, especially if you've started fooling around - but the right guys will always be ok with it.
Just wanna say, I am 17 and it is a huge deal in high school. People tell me to give up and that I will never find a guy who saved it and that there is no point in me saving it and blah blah blah... I get really discouraged sometimes because so many people are against what I believe. But all you people just gave me a little bit of hope that i am not a complete freak. That it is normal. Thank you :)
im a teen virgin but feel the pressure... thanks