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Chic Geek

 
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What does it mean if a guy constantly has to check up on you all the time? (Checking cell phone, reading journal, calling to make sure I am where I said I was going to be... that sort of thing.)

It means he thinks you're going to cheat. He doesn't trust you, and he's paranoid. Does he have any reason to feel this way? No? Then he's possessive and insecure.

There's being protective, and then there's being controlling. Checking your cell phone, reading your journal--that's classic controlling behavior. I thought that journals were an under-lock-and-key kind of thing (at least that's what I've learned from my sister and movies). Does he take your journal and read it? Does he take your phone and look at your calls and texts? Being curious about who you're texting with when you're hanging out together is one thing. But checking your cellphone and pouring over your journal for any indication that you might be cheating are the actions of a jealous, possessive boyfriend.

If your boyfriend has no reason to suspect cheating (and even if he does have reason to suspect cheating) it doesn't seem like a good situation. He sounds controlling, and these sort of things can turn into bad situations. Ever see Fear, the movie where crazy Mark Wahlberg becomes obsessed with girlfriend Reese Witherspoon? First it's scrolling through your texts, checking your call log and reading your journal. Next, he's telling you you can't have any male friends and beheading your dog. (That movie was messed up.)

Calling to check to make sure you're where you said you're going to be is insane. He's not your father, and he needs to get over his insecurities and trust you or else he'll drive you away (or drive you to actually cheat).

Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him his behavior scares you and he's being a jealous douche rocket. Be open and honest with each other. Tell him he doesn't have anything to worry about, and his jealous behavior is pushing you away. And the next time you catch him checking your phone after you've had a heart to heart, dump his ass. 
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16 Comments

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Oooh and keep in mind, if he starts accussing you of cheating , he could be the one whose cheating. Some weird paranoic reaction cheaters have is to start accusing the innocent party. Its strange but I've seen it happen

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yeah, that's what my father did to my mom while mom was getting the divorce. weird how that works.

Jess

That Fear movie is the reason I don't like Mark Wahlberg. His character freaked me out! All I can think about when I see him on TV or in the movies is him talking about cherry popping (I totally didn't know what that was because I was... 9 around.)

Brizzy0509

ive been in this type of situation...it doesnt get pretty....get out of it as fast as you can

Mike

It's classic abusive behavior.

Run.

Away.

Brizzy, Jess, Vee, and Nick all have it right.

Megan

Sweetie, I have domestic violence training. That behavior is how abuse starts. Don't let it get any further. Break it off now!

Dektora

Exactly what popped into my head when I read the question.

Cary McNeal

I wouldn't agree that he necessarily thinks you are cheating, but it's controlling behavior regardless, and it will only get worse. Le Chic Geek is correct: he's not your dad and his behavior is unacceptable.

VKnoxville

Oh my God...I am in an abusive relationship.

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run far/run fast
file a restraining order

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Yes these are the first signs of a Domestic Violence situation. I know firsthand, because im just not getting out of one. If he is this controlling now, it will only get worse. You may still care about him, which makes it very hard, but you do need to get away quickly. I filed a restraining order...and hes still contacting me. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!

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I would go through myboyfriends phone bc he did it to me. Plus every time I went through it.. I found out that was going out to dinner and shopping with another chick! And plus this chick was always calling him. I went through his journal once and found out he had/ has feelins for this chick. He was hiding a bunch of stuff from me.

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i am 50 years old and have seen this alot ,you cant fix him,no matter how much you love him or how hard you try.he will only get worse.either get use to be dominated and manipulated and abused the rest of your life or put his hiking boots on him and tell him to hit the trail.your situation will no exception to hundreds of others just like it i've seen. sorry.

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I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this blog. Keep up the great work.

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I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.

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Good Stuff Thank you for the information

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