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What does it mean if your boyfriend never invites you over to his house?

It means that he is not your boyfriend.

Of course, this is all hinging on how long you have been dating, but just in general, if your man NEVER invites you to his home...and you know he has one? Something is awry in the state of Denmark. Or your state assuming you don't live in the state of Denmark, which is undoubtedly, NOT in Les Etas Unis.

You'd also be right to let your mind wander on outrageous flights of fancy. Is he hiding something? How would you know; you've never been to his place. Maybe he collects Barbie Dolls. Maybe its Stonehenge replica pebbles. Maybe he has an entire other life and family and you'd never because you always spend time together on your side of town.

Who knows. But they're very valid questions. When you are with somebody, part of the joy of getting to know them is to learn the things that aren't spoken. The learning that takes place just by being in their presence and seeing how they respond to stimuli. Part of that is seeing the environment that they're most comfortable in,, which is, or at least should be, their home. The types of pictures on their walls and the books on their shelves, the types of furniture...it tells you something. Anybody who has truly let you in will bring you into that part of their life.

All that to say, he's not your boyfriend.

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11 Comments

SimplyLaurel

Have you asked him about this? There may be some completely reasonable explanations. He could feel embarrassed about where he lives. He could have roommates/housemates he doesn't want to expose you to, for any reason. Or he could just be a bit of a slob who doesn't want to expose you to a messy place, but is too lazy or busy to get around to sufficiently cleaning it. (That one admittedly relies heavily on the two of you not having been together very long.)

But in any case, ask him about it in a non-accusatory way and proceed based on his answers.

silkysly

…& maybe he has a live in girlfriend.

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I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and I have not been to his place yet. The reason for that is because there is nothing to do there. He doesn't have a TV. We would be bored if we spent our free time there.

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Does he have lips? They often help pass the time and are so much more fun than TV.

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No TV = no fun? Sweet Jesus... What about sex, board games, card games, cooking with each other, sex, conversation, artsy stuff, sex, sex, sex...!?

user-pic

I'm not a guy but for my first few boyfriends I've had when I was a teen, I never brought them home or introduced them to my family because my parents are strict, traditional, and would never approve of any guys I bring home (they would have to pick out the guy themselves in order to approve of him).

So maybe he has strict, traditional parents who he doesn't want to deal with? If not, then ask him why. Or you could suggest to have dinner at his place?

Lunita

I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and didn't go to his house until a few months ago. But now, I've met his family and been to his house a couple of times.

The reason we don't hang out there much is that I have my own condo and he lives with his older brother. So, between having our own space and being alone or having to hang out in his room all the time, we end up at my place. Plus, he often mentions the state of their living quarters: "it's two dudes living there" meaning if I come over, he has to clean up (those are his words, not mine. I really don't care that much).

Lunita

...so, in conclusion, there could be a totally benign reason for not inviting you over, but you should ask him what's up.

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I didn't let my boyfriend come to my place until we were three or four months dating. MY reasons were:

a) didn't want him dropping round unannounced, especially looking for a booty call late at night - annoying,

b) how well DO you know a person at 3 months - they could turn out to be crazy and you don't want a crazy knowing where you live;

c) didn't want to get used to having him around incase it ended;

d) i liked going to his place so that I could leave at any time and i felt more in control that way and lastly..

e) my place is very personal, people can tell alot about you from your pad and I just felt like we weren't 'there' yet.

When i did eventually invite him around he was like a kid in a sweet shop..looking in all the rooms (probably for dead bodies), i guess the anticipation and mystery surrounding it all made it THAT more interesting for him. It kind of freaked me out, I will say...

user-pic

Maybe he's over 30 and he still lives with his parents.

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I' e been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he has not introduced me to his family and I have not been over to hi place and be doesn't have a cell phone Amy more what are his reasons for not inviting me into his life because he knows my family but I don't knw his and he's Mexican and I'm black he says because his mom doesn't speak good English and she isn't a fan of my race and that I wouldn't understand her English my friends tell me it's a bunch of b.s and my mom thinks he got another life so idk what to think

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